freedomfries

Maybe even longer since she can work from home.

It's really awkward between us. I said something (I don't know what) nasty to her when I was blackout drunk and she hasn't been speaking to me. I'll be three months sober on the 17th so I'm hoping with that and the christmas spirit, she'll be forgiving. Christmas will be very disappointing if she's still not speaking to me.

GerandTwine

Your proper remorse over doing that is what prompted you to fast track your self-recovery by making your Big Plan. So even if she’s still upset with you, it is a small price for how you have changed and ended your addiction, and I can’t imagine that your Mom didn’t tell her you were in a drunken blackout when it happened.
Can you ask your mom how she thinks your sister is feeling about you now?

aasharon90

I'm not familiar with your story and had a few thoughts
going thru my mind about this visit with your sister?

Is she staying at your home? or, are you staying at your
parents home?

Does she drink? or will there be alcohol around you
during this visit?

Being early in recovery, i had to make sure all my bases
were covered to prevent a relapse. Since my own home
was alcohol free, i knew there was no way I could pick
up if a situation came about. However, if i was at onther
location, then i had to be prepared to take care of myself.

Early recovery I had a lot of work to do on myself, esp.
when it came to emotions, selfishness, selfcenteredness,
anger, wanting things to go my way, reactions, manipulation,
control, acceptance, and just a whole lot of character defects
on my end that needed addressing and worked on.

I had to look at all the reasons why I drank. And not
just because i liked the taste of it. But why would I have
to numb myself. Why did I want to drown my feelings
if someone pizzed me off. Or someone i had a disagreement
with. Or if someone looked at me the wrong way.

Or said something, did something I didnt like. Was i too
sensitive? Did I lie or was dishonest, scared, ashamed?

Emotions in early recovery was and still is something
I have to keep in check with esp. when around other
folks.

The worse thing I could do would be is to drink again.

Because we are a work in progress, it is important to
stay connected to recovery lifelines and folks that have
found success in learning how to remain sober under
all types of circumstances.

Always have a backup plan if you are some wheres and
alcohol is around you. For me, if i got too squirreling then
i had my car to leave along with an honest excuse to leave.

To lie would mean you would have to turn around and
make amends for that lie. So to avoid them, don't lie and
be honest in all your affairs.

In recovery we are learning how to live life without alcohol.
We are learning how to live life not repeating the same mistakes
as we did when we were drinking.

These learning processes take time and yes we will
make mistakes along the way, but we never have to
drink over them as we are learning about them.

freedomfries

I asked her. They haven't been speaking about me recently.

Anna

FF, have you apologized to your sister for your behaviour? If not, it might be a good idea to do so. But, remember, your sister's feelings are hers. You can only control your reaction to your sister. I hope things go well for you.

Obladi

It's a good thing your mom and sister don't talk about you.
You're grown now. It's up to you to deal with others as a responsible adult.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to call your sister now and tell her you are sorry for (insert whatever you can say with full sincerity and no blame for anyone else), that you are anxious she might freeze you out and to ask what you can do to help this to be a good visit for her?

O

KissMyTiara

You are a grown man living in your parents house. Your sister is coming for a long visit over Xmas. You offended her and have caused turmoil in your family for years by drinking and drugging. I would suggest before she gets there you contact her and sincerely apologize (even you don't know what you said). It isn't fair to your parents to be under the same roof for several weeks with the tension in the air.

GerandTwine

Hi FF,

Over the last month and a half, since you made your pledge of permanent abstinence, you’ve done a lot of deliberate “shifting” into and out of your Addictive Voice’s mentality; provoking IT, and then shutting it down by consciously imposing your plan - “I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind.” You even taunt your AV by giving silly reasons for not drinking like it’s too close to Christmas, or it would be too small an amount to drink because the Antabuse in me would ruin the drinking, or you don’t want a nurse to smell alcohol on your breath, etc, etc; when in reality, you know you will never drink again as long as you live.

Well, I see you’ve been gradually reducing your activities here on SR as your drinking days fade further into your past. That’s logical. No matter what your family dynamics are at the present time; even if none of your relationships seem to be getting any better; even if the local police keep thinking your going to cause more trouble; even as you continue the struggle to end your dangerous liquid intake; you have wisely chosen to avoid the a path towards prison, isolation, sickness, and death that you were on with continued drunkenness.

The nice thing about complete recovery, there are no losers, and everyone is a winner. I know the world around you will appreciate getting to know Freedomfries the teetotaler.

And I think it would be useful to see you continue posting to tell others how you got to where you are.

GT

stickyone

Freedomfries how are you doing. Just came upon your thread and seen the date is coming up around the corner. Hope everything is well.

Bekindalways

Heya FF, here's hoping things are going well and your sobriety is your first priority no matter what is going on with your sister.

Let us know how you are doing?