snitch

One of the most effective things an alcoholic can do to get out of self is to go help someone else.

BeABetterMan

I just saw a meme that said, “That boring life you livin is gonna save you from a lotta bull.”

infeed.

Billymacintosh

This is what you wrote in your first post

' From the outside my life looks pretty good, decent career, long term girlfriend, plenty of money, nice house etc. But in truth my life is far from content, I suffer terribly with anxiety and depression, I lead a life completely controlled by fear, a fear I have constructed. Alcohol is the only thing that quietens the noise in my head... of course it also makes it so much worse in the long run, the viscous cycle of addiction'

Sounds to me like the part of your brain that wants you to drink has tried to push those memories to one side and down play the consequences.
As alcoholics we've spent so long hiding from real life under the anaesthesia of alcohol we forget that true joy comes from within and without the addition of a bottle in hand.
Open your eyes - as I think someone else had said, it's quite early in your sober journey to be making this assessment of your life as a whole.

I am 9 months sober now, yes I still have days where I feel bored, we all do, we're human, but now I can explore endless opportunities to alleviate that, the potential in life without alcohol is awesome.

Persevere.
Love Billy x
​

EndGameNYC

It doesn't happen overnight, but it's possible to unlearn surrendering to boredom by drinking or by any other means of self-harm. It sounds like it might be a good time to start. It will keep you busy.

Pureself

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I did not drink and I remain sober.

I absolutely know you are all right, I just can't see my life continuing sober forever. However much I know its the right thing to do

Day 18

FreeOwl

Life in sobriety is filled with highs and lows, excitement and thrill, depression and woe, elation and ecstasy and boredom.

Because that's what LIFE is.

Alcohol actually keeps us from understanding it.

Watch children play for a while. They don't need alcohol to find a thrill. Neither do we as adults.

When we've spent our lives associating alcohol with "good times" and gradually getting to the point where doing literally ANYTHING is an excuse to do it with alcohol - the process of releasing alcohol and embracing sobriety is a tough one.... but consistency and commitment and an openness to truly experience life leads us into a dimension of life that is far more rewarding and far deeper than the alcohol-sodden life of boozing.

Hodd

It’s really definitely not like having a binge on chocolate! This is serious stuff. That binge on alcohol will play havoc with your brain. It will welcome back the alcohol it’s missed for so long and expect the same again the next day and the next. It won’t be a one off. You will be once again be trapped into the sad lonely life of a heavy drinker.

Don’t even think about other people’s lives. I know someone who said drinking doesn’t do him any harm blah blah, and he’s now waiting for a liver transplant. You’ll never get to that stage if you stay quit.

Dee74

why is that pureself?
D

nez

Boredom has nothing to with drinking nor sobriety. Also neither drinking nor sobriety is a cure for boredom. Boredom is a train of thought and operates entirely independent of alcohol consumption, whether the consumption is lots or zero.

Sometimes the cure can be discovered during doing the work of recovery, which can shed light on the thought processes behind being bored. When that happens, we are given the opportunity to change our way of thinking, which can result in boredom becoming a thing of the past. I have never known that to happen through drinking.

My drinking was actually boring and monotonous. It was like the movie "Groundhog Day". I was fooled into thinking I was a wild and crazy guy doing absurd, out of the box adventures. To bring me back to reality, all I have to do is go to an AA meeting. Nothing I did when drinking was original. None of it was a wild and crazy, absurd, out of the box adventure. It has all been done already by countless number of drunks. There was absolutely nothing special about my drinking.

Boredom stems from self-centered thinking.
e.g. "The world should come on my beck and call and be prepared to entertain me."

relena

I'm bored out of my mind. I don't enjoy doing anything. Which is a horribly miserable and shameful thing for a parent to admit. It's the truth though. I never stop thinking about all of the things I regret, the things i've lost, people i've lost, years I lost. It eats away at me. Everyone is different. But for me those thoughts + what happened to me the last time I drank have brought me to the point where I don't let my brain tell me "Well you already ruined your life, might as well". No, because i've said that before. Things can always and will always get worse. I have a little bit more of a chance if I remove drinking from the equation.

silentrun

I had a period when I first stopped using I would describe as "dead air". The only thing I felt were cravings. Then at about 4 months I started bouncing off the walls the healing was so uncomfortable I would have loved me some boring. Recovery is hard work so if your on the right track you should be getting a bit exhausted.

At 9 months sober I thought something was wrong with me because I woke up one day and everything looked like it was in technicolor. Everything was bright and interactive and it was overwhelming. That's because I had poisoned myself enough to produce changes in my brain that made everything seem dull and lifeless. I didn't realize it when I was using. It's probably one of the reasons the only thing that could spark any life in me was alcohol. I'm thinking everything will be boring to you until you heal and reset. Getting interested in recovery is a good way to keep yourself occupied.

fishkiller

You did right by posting about it!
Great job not acting on it!

Keep up the fight. It will get better.

PuckLuck

It's not forever. Who knows what that is or what that holds?

It's one day at a time.

Pureself

Because I can't see myself as always wanting it. I know I can do it but genuinely wanting it is another thing all together

Dee74

Thanks for that answer pureself. I'm going to let you in on a secret - coming into recovery I didn't know whether I would always want it either.

My attempts at staying sober were not very successful or at least not for long.
I had little or no confidence in my ability to do this recovery thing.

But I really felt it was try or die...and so I kept trying, giving it my all - sometimes to ridiculous lengths to stay sober (and why not?I went to absurd lengths to stay drunk)

and...I changed. My life changed . I became dedicated to recovery, not just simple abstinence. I liked the new life I was building, and that new life was built on not drinking anymore.

I really mean it when I tell people they can do it - because I did it...and I had nothing going for me in precedent but a stubborn desire and willingness to change.

Don't give up Pureself

D

LateBloominCait

Tough love time and I mean it with kindness and love: Life isn't boring, we become bores because we have dedicated all our energy as adults into being drinkers, not interesting people with hobbies and interesting life experiences to talk about. To people with real interests, we are both boring and annoying when we are drunk. All the interesting and fun people I knew stopped hanging out with me around age 25 because they went on to live interesting lives and I kept partying and drinking like I was still a college kid. I became the bore, not them.

silentrun

That's a thought that blocks lots of changes, not just alcohol. It's not a real concern but a way we keep ourselves trapped. It will probably take a while but speaking for myself, you couldn't pay me enough to get sucked back into that.

Nonsensical

Interesting. As it turns out, we humans are quite bad at predicting how we will feel in the future. Here's a podcast on that topic.

Congrats on the sober time!