Backtogood

I have been so bummed out lately. Party, I'm sure, cause i started drinking after having positive feelings of accomplishment having not been drinking. But, you know what? I can't change that I chose to drink again and that negative things happened/feelings came from that...i mean i quit for a reason, right? AND the world isn't what it was last year, so yes...my husband and i are unemployed, we are homeschooling my son, we are shut down, they want me to pay back over 15,000 in unemployment and we can't pay our bills...etc. BUT, what CAN i control? I can't fix any of that today. I CAN eat the apple, drink the water, go for a walk, kiss on my son, love on my cat...and of course, quit making excuses about drinking. There WILL always be reasons to drink. How i choose to go forth is up to me and wallowing in self pity, is not me and is not going to fix Anything today. I can only control my actions. So look forward, not back. So let's rock today! Happy Monday

Dez029

This is exactly how I've been feeling lately. I have a few people who keep checking up on me when they know I'm stressed and are worried I'm going to relapse. That's exactly my response "I can't control what happened. What I can control is how I handle it." You posted some words of wisdom there. Positive thinking is a huge part of dealing with our addictions. Focus on what you CAN control. We can't change who we were, what we did. What we can change is who we are going to be. This post was a nice uplifter before getting ready for work. Thank you Backtogood!

GerandTwine

Just out of curiosity, no judgement, is this going to be day 1 for you? I think you’ve said you’ve been doing ok with about 2 drinks per day up through yesterday.

Backtogood

GT, yes i have had 2/3 airplane bottles of rumplemintz for the last 3 days. Not enough to get drunk, but enough to hold back the anxiety. I have decided that i don't need it to get through my anxiety. When i quit drinking, my anxiety was controllable and that is where i want to be. So, no I'm not drinking today. I am also NOT going to put undo stress upon myself. Or let my husband do that to me. I will do what my body says i can do. I keep pushing and pushing and ultimately failing because i expect my body and brain to be what is was before i abused the hell out of it. So to answer your question, today i will not drink.

2much2luv

You've got this. It is going to be an amazing day. <3

Anna

I'm glad this is your Day 1 and I know you can do this. I still experience anxiety, but it's manageable and I'm glad I'm no longer listening to my brain telling me I need to drink to deal with my anxiety. Stopping drinking is what improved my anxiety.

Have a great day!

Backtogood

Stopping drinking helped my anxiety very much (after day 7ish lol) but as i laid awake this morning, i realized i expect alot from myself and others rely on me for alot. I need to learn to say no and listen to what my body can and cannot handle.

brighterday1234

There is never a reason for an alcoholic to drink just an excuse 🙏

Sober45

Me too, BTG. I have a lot on my plate and I really think the drinking was a big part of what got me here. At least going forward we can be more aware and build the life WE want for ourselves. I've said no a lot this year and I'm glad I did because I'm still sober.

Dee74

Congrats on day one BTG

D

GerandTwine

Hi BTG,

I hope today was amazing for you.
Do you have any plans about whether you will be drinking tomorrow?

GT