I am struggling and desperate
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
I would be honest about what's happening with your AA friends. For a start, try being honest with one of those special friends you made in AA. Alcoholics in AA or not, know what that initial struggle is like. But as important as being honest with others and yourself, that's just a start.
Sometimes it seems like one day an alcoholic just quits, but it's not that simple for any of us. I'll bet that for all my normie friends, it seemed to them like one day I just quit, but it sure didn't feel that way to me. For me, it was finding the right key to open the door to recovery. For me it was finally accepting sobriety forever. Before that, I had always held hope that some day, after a period of sobriety I could drink again responsibly. But that's not how it works. If you get in the habit of not drinking for three days, and think you can take a break and get slammed and then pick up not drinking right where you left off, it's not going to work.
Once I accepted that wasn't working, I started the journey. Your key may be something else, or you may have to discover a key chain with more keys than just one to make it work. Some people say they have cut back gradually to zero alcohol. That didn't work for me, and I don't think that's anywhere near the norm for the rest of us.
How long can you go without drinking? I had to stay off alcohol for about 10 days for the cravings to become manageable. That varies from person to person, but when that happens, you cross a big hurdle, and it starts getting easier usually rather quickly. Day five was my worst day.
Sometimes it seems like one day an alcoholic just quits, but it's not that simple for any of us. I'll bet that for all my normie friends, it seemed to them like one day I just quit, but it sure didn't feel that way to me. For me, it was finding the right key to open the door to recovery. For me it was finally accepting sobriety forever. Before that, I had always held hope that some day, after a period of sobriety I could drink again responsibly. But that's not how it works. If you get in the habit of not drinking for three days, and think you can take a break and get slammed and then pick up not drinking right where you left off, it's not going to work.
Once I accepted that wasn't working, I started the journey. Your key may be something else, or you may have to discover a key chain with more keys than just one to make it work. Some people say they have cut back gradually to zero alcohol. That didn't work for me, and I don't think that's anywhere near the norm for the rest of us.
How long can you go without drinking? I had to stay off alcohol for about 10 days for the cravings to become manageable. That varies from person to person, but when that happens, you cross a big hurdle, and it starts getting easier usually rather quickly. Day five was my worst day.
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