FiveTries

You all are great! I did not get to sleep very early as anticipated but I slept very heavily once I got going so it was a good night. I actually overslept by about 30 minutes. I had been reading peoples posts before that.

Now that the hangover is gone I feel pretty good probably 95 percent. Have a slight tingling feeling in the liver area but otherwise fine physically. Mentally I am still aware of many stressors but right this second they are not bothering me.

Zevin

One day at a time, Five. Sometimes, even 1 minute at a time.
And drink lots of water!

Hevyn

You sound very positive & ready to do this, Five. I didn't sleep at all in the early days - I'm glad you were able to get some quality rest.

Sober45

Hello, Five. Post as much as you need to. Not only will you get advice but you’ll have something to look back on to help you stay accountable. I spent the majority of my time here in the first few months. That along with TV and sugar really helped me stay sane. I also focus a lot on gratitude and made sure any thoughts about drinking were immediately dismissed and replaced with some kind of activity like cleaning ...or more sugar!

Ive been sober for almost 10 months now and I can tell you this journey has been worth every ounce of energy I put in. In early recovery we have to work hard But you can do it.

EndGameNYC

Hi Five?

Good idea to "post a lot here."

I've read through so many good threads here over the years, so much support that people give to each other. Forgiveness, understanding, and helping people through difficult times. Sometimes I can feel it just by reading the text.

As I was reading through this thread I thought, "This is the thread I needed to read tonight."

You came to the right place

FiveTries

As usual I discovered a reason to drink and got drunk again. My friend from the other night called and wanted to meet. I was petrified after blacking out and not knowing what I did or said so I wanted to make sure we were still on good terms. Of course we end up drinking again. Good news is he had no bad news for me. Bad news is I can't seem to not drink.

Now I just plan to hide out from the world for a good long time. I have no alcohol in my house. I am feeling like garbage once again and I am struggling with a lot of self hatred. I know much of this is alcohol related but some of it isn't. Life isn't going all that great and I am sure it will get worse from here. But I am going to stay sober and face it head on today.

Dee74

I think staying sober is a way better way to deal with hard times.
Post as much as you need to Five - support really helps

D

Erica375

You can pick yourself up, Five, and keep going. I'm glad you came back to post. Keep working at it.

FiveTries

Quick update I got through hangover day 1.
Feeling much better now on day 2 its amazing the difference. Still not understanding why something in my brain wants to go back to the poison after a short time. How stupid can I be? I know it is going to take a lot of change for me to make sobriety stick for good but I still believe I can do this.

EndGameNYC

It's a start

FiveTries

I am dead serious about never drinking again. This last relapse was the end for me. Finishing up Day 4. I am mostly feeling good but still have some little aches and pains and odd feelings in my upper body but particularly my dreaded liver area. Those are scaring me the most at this moment but I know that the hard work of staying sober hasn't even started yet. I can hear my addiction talking to me.

I have been on this forum day and night reading old threads and what a great resource! One thing I would love is the ability to save a particular post out of a thread is that possible?

Zencat

Posting here at SR will give you some accountability. That can help in early sobriety. Keep that up. It can also help to replace harmful behaviors with positive behaviors that support your sobriety. keep on keeping on

Copy and paste to a doc is all I know about saving a post I like.

travelbug

Hi Five, Have you considered getting a physical with your doctor. I did last week. Haven't received the lab work yet. I am afraid to see it. I have been a heavy drinker for years. I know that my liver is pickled. But I need to know that. Have you read This Naked Mind buy Annie Grace. It will scar you straight. She tells how the body metabolizes alcohol and the effects it has on the body. I am on day 1 again. I am going to go thru the holidays this year sober. I look forward to it.

FiveTries

I am in the midst of day 5.

Basically almost feeling alive again. Fear and shame have dissipated and I have some calmness. I feel bored. I am sore after getting some good workouts in. Internal organ pain has not been noticeable today. I have been to my doc in the past and done scans and bloodwork. Only issue was mildly elevated enzymes still within the normal range. I will definitely head back to the doc though as needed.

The boredom and healthy feeling body worry me a bit but I am sticking to the plan no matter what. And the plan is never drinking again. For good!

Hevyn

Five - I'm so happy to read the positive news. Good to hear the fear & shame has calmed down. That was a huge problem for me & almost sent me back to drinking. I think feeling bored is normal - we have time to fill. I remember feeling disoriented for a while - but it all got better.
Congrats on your Day 5, Five!

travelbug

Congrats on day 5. Stay Strong, stay sober

Dee74

congrats on 5 Five

I forgot how to entertain amuse and feel good about myself when drinking. My fun came ready packed in a bottle. It took a little time for me to rediscover what real fun, real interests and real satisfaction were but I did.

If you spent nights drinking in front of the tv - change your routine - don't do that sober...

think further

D

D

FiveTries

Today is interesting. Day 6 and I feel at 100 percent. My eyes are beautiful white. No reminders of the fact that I have this drinking problem, physically. Mentally feeling crystal clear. No emotional problems I can think of.

Of course all of a sudden I think I can drink. I keep getting invitations to drinking events. I am trying to stay in the moment but so far that is hit or miss.

This is life or death. And the weekend is about to start.

Dee74

My advice is keep it simple - stay home and don’t drink. I talk about growing sober muscles - in time you’ll be able to go anywhere and do anything, even around drinkers...but for now just keep it simple. One day, even one hour at a time, if needed.

Use the support here

D

GerandTwine

You think you can drink “all of a sudden”? Of course you COULD drink, it’s not an “all of a sudden” aha. You’ve always been capable of drinking. Look at your two earlier posts yesterday and the day before. You swore to yourself that you would NEVER drink again. That means you COULD drink, but YOU don’t WANT to drink ... EVER AGAIN; AND YOU WON’T.

Now, as a new permanent abstainer with your pledge of NEVER, “trying to stay in the moment” isn’t needed any more to keep you from finding and swallowing alcohol. All that’s necessary is to remember what you did two days ago in that very brief, but absolutely pivotal to the whole rest of your life moment; when you pledged “I’m dead serious about never drinking again.”

I always assume people had not been bullshatting us when they make such statements here on SR. Especially if it’s several days or more following their last drink. You knew what you pledged, and you meant it. So, face the music. If it’s hard now, that’s because it will get much easier later and you won’t have to spend the rest of your life in recovery or drunk.

You will discover it’s actually very beautiful music to YOU as an abstaining human being with a PhD (Phormer Drunk). It is for me.