BeABetterMan

The things that we covet and put before our sobriety will be the first things we lose. If you are in early sobriety or still drinking and wondering why you can’t make it stick or what you can do different, it is simple. You must put your sobriety first. But what does that mean? If you’re in AA, then it means you will call your sponsor daily, it means you will build your entire day around a meeting. You won’t miss a meeting because you’re tired, or because your favorite show is on, or because you’ve had five good days in a row so you feel like you don’t need it. If you’re standing still, then you’re moving backward. If you half-ass your sobriety then you will drink.

If you’re not in AA, are you participating in your other program? Are you talking to a professional or someone else with a sound foundation about your struggles, about your thoughts and about your fears? Are you exercising? Are you practicing gratitude? Are you challenging your thoughts? Are you still associating with the sick people in your life or people that don’t share your goals. Are you growing or standing in place?

If you are lazy about your sobriety then you will lose it. Be proactive. Your life depends on it.

Dropsie

Great post.

BornSurvivor

Great post.

It's always important to remember that staying sober takes work. How much work varies from person to person. That's something we all have to figure out for ourselves but we all are going to have to work at it to some degree. If we don't, I think for most if not all of us a relapse is inevitable.

Gettingcloser

Excellent title. In relation to a persons sobriety, it makes complete sense.

lessgravity

Yep, agreed. Sobriety first. I spent years looking for root causes, asking why me, creating justifications and excuses. Fore-fronting sobriety has allowed everything else of meaning and value and goodness to come into my life. But they come after I choose, every single day, not to drink.

Be123

I'm no expert but my experience is that the key thing is DOING. Thinking, wanting, talking (on it's own), despairing, hoping - they're not bad things but they didn't do it for me.

Its get up in the morning and do stuff that supports sobriety. And then do some more stuff that supports sobriety. Then go to bed sober and the next day do more stuff that supports sobriety.

When I don't know what to do I do what someone on here (who has been sober for a long time) suggests.

It sounds like a lot of work but I've found it much easier, more enjoyable and more fulfilling than the efforts I put into drinking

DriGuy

Yes, if you are serious about sobriety, you can't put it as a second priority. Not even momentarily when the need arises. It's priority one all the time or nothing. I don't think about that much anymore, but in early sobriety, I remember how that felt. No compromises. No whining. No "Yeah, but" about it. It was more than a promise, and I remember feeling it deep inside me. It's a good feeling too. It felt good right down to my toes. It's a feeling of not sacrificing anything, a feeling of latching on to something new and too good to let go of. That's when I put myself in charge. I think you might describe the feeling as a "rush."

As to what details I had to commit to, that was not as structured for me, and I think that list of must do's varies from one person to another. There's all kinds of other things you can and should put on your "must do" list, but they aren't the same for everyone. But the one umbrella that pretty much covers the rest of your recovery behavior is to never put sobriety in the back seat for one night or one moment.

biminiblue

The title is awesome.

I agree with DriGuy as usual.

It has to be first and foremost always - but how you get there is completely individual.

I went to AA for a while. Didn't meet anyone who really made me feel like I needed to have them or anyone else as a sponsor - but then, sponsors are not part of the program.




It's an inside job and so are the daily (sometimes minute by minute) commitments to continuing to stay abstinent in every single circumstance forever and ever amen.

Libby06

Great post BABM. That was and is my experience also. The first thing I put before my sobriety is the second thing I'll lose. If I were to go back out there and drink, I wouldn't have anything for long. House, job, relationships, all gone. After 8 years of sobriety, I got cocky. I thought I could drink and eventually lost everything.

Not this time. I haven't had a drink in a few years, but only because my sobriety comes first. It has to. Without it, I am nothing.

I like your new picture. Cute dog