SoberLeigh

(((Manta))). So sorry to hear that you are struggling. Very sorry to hear that the promised job position has vaporized - what a disappointment after all of your hard work.

I hope that your visit with your Mum goes well tomorrow.

Love to you, manta. Stay close, okay?

MantaLady

Will do Leigh, sorry to hear of your struggles recently aswell, sending healing hugs your way!

I have decided I am going to get up very early and walk to my mums, it’s about 13 miles and I can do a lot of that walking along the canal path. I am so unfit it’s going to take me many hours walking!! The intention is to be outdoors in the fresh air for a long time, walk till my legs fall off and turn to jelly so by bedtime that evening I am exhausted and might get a better sleep. Exercise is such a great thing for mental health that I must do some rather than sitting on my backside complaining and being a negative nancy. My mum is ordering a full Sunday roast with a starter (chicken liver pate for me) and orange pannacotta for pudding from a local restaurant so after the walk, some company and a great meal I am hoping it will lift my spirits! x

CaptainHaddock

Hi Manta, I’m glad to see you post. I’m sure the walk and what sounds like a wonderful lunch menu with your mom will lift your spirits.

PeaceManic

Yikes, that sounds a bit much. I walk about 2 and a half miles an hour so leave at least six hours. I'd take enough cash for a taxi just in case.

MantaLady

Haha PeaceManiac! I hear you, and I don’t walk fast either so gonna set off at 7am which gives me 6 hours to arrive when the dinner does!! Although my mum was going to pick me up from mine so I can always give her a bell to pick me up depending on how far I get lol. x

SoberLeigh

Sounds like a great day, manta. Enjoy.

saoutchik

Good to see you Manta. Sorry about your job, that is a nauseating way to treat people. It seems to happen so much now.

Sending positive vibes to you too Erica, I have no advice about avoiding panic attacks but I do have inner ear issues myself which affects my balance. My own research discovered that avoiding too much salt and maintaining regular blood pressure helps a little (they are good things in themselves so I don't think that counts as medical advice)

LMGTFY Hob. Hotplate or Burner.

Kaily

Sorry about your job Manta. 13 miles is a long way. I walk everyday and would struggle with that! I did 7 very hilly miles last Sunday, it took me 3 hours but I do have a bad back/hip and was hobbling in the end. I think you should phone Mum half way .

Erica I hope you are healing. Well done for coming back after drinking. I have panic attacks but luckily not had any for a long time. That said I avoid any situation that I know will cause them which is not always a good thing when it is something I really should be doing.

MantaLady

Thanks Kaily. Most of the walk will be on the flat canal tow path and will make sure my phone is charged to call my mum halfway if it gets to much. I just need to exhaust myself this week but in a healthier way. I’ve really messed everything up and need a proper shock to my system. If I am out walking I am not trapped at home overthinking and getting in a state over it all. It does seem a little drastic but drastic measures are called for before I make a mistake I can’t come back from if that makes sense. x

Kaily

Yes, when I first gave up drinking I walked all day everyday, to the point of exhaustion, so I do understand. A challenge is good - enjoy!

And a delicious dinner to boot. Can't be bad.

Cityboy

My back begins to get sore if I walk very far on pavement or even a hard path. Doesn't seem to do it on soft ground or on the treadmills at the gym I go to when there isn't a covid pandemic.

MantaLady

I’ve just sorted out my technology so I can get onto meetings and have set reminders on Alexa to join some online SMART meetings next week. It’s a start. I’ve also signed up for Gusto food boxes so have healthy food coming for the next few weeks as they had a deal on for newbies. The recipes all look quite yummy so looking forward to trying them out. x

Dee74

good to hear from you again ML - support is worth its weight in gold when life throws its crud at us.

D

PhoenixJ

My mind DOES settle, in time,with ongoing recovery. Many have shared all over SR- where 2 crucial points shine out for me. The best time to post/seek support is when I do not want to and recovery is a gift- but it needs nurturing every day. Every day I need to recharge my recovery battery- otherwise it goes flat. It is not like saving money- where after a time, one can stop saving if there is money in the bank. Recovery for me does not work like that- it has to be proactive work I do every day- for life.

Mags1

PJ, that’s a good way of looking at it.

Erica, sorry you had the panic attacks. I used to have them, and it felt like I wasn’t in control any more. I know that booze never solved any problems for me even though I used to drown my sorrows that way.

MantaLady, good to see you. Enjoy your walk and your lunch with your mum. It’ll be lovely walking along the canal path. Do you have ‘map my walk’ app on your phone? Though I imagine you know the walk very well. Your manager sounds like some past managers I’ve had, they’ve got to show their employees are given fair opportunities whilst all the time putting themselves in good favour, ready to catch the prize.

SoberLeigh

Amen.

Erica375

Mags, that is exactly it: I felt like I wasn't in control any more, and that was terrifying. You hit the nail on the head. Thank you.

I want to be in control of myself. I usually am. But when that happened... I don't know. I did not feel in control of myself and that makes me ashamed. I couldn't think; I could only react.

I feel like I'm giving myself excuses, but... at the time it felt like I was being swept up by a giant wave and I was going to drown in it. I'm still sorting it out. What an unpleasant feeling.

andyh

morning all, hope everyone is doing well.

good to see you Manta. some face-to-face time with a real human sounds like a good idea - I'm pretty happy with my own company most of the time, but I still get a bit loopy if I don't have any human interaction for weeks on end! online SMART meetings sound good too - they were an absolute lifeline for me in early recovery. take care & enjoy your walk & lunch.

Bim - a hob is the thing you put saucepans/pots on to get hot.

MantaLady

PJ, you’re absolutely right and that seems to be a lesson that I have totally neglected and I’ve definitely stopped “saving”. Thanks for sharing x

Forwards

Morning weekender friends,

Time for my weekly check-in. Thanks Mags for the thread - good to see the it busy this week. My early attempts at recovery were more like my poor attempts at playing chess. I would always start with the same flawed opening and not know how to proceed. Only by learning and changing my approach was I able to succeed.

I had a minor success this week, I reached my second performance review in the new job (they come every couple of months) and was slightly worried about how it would go. My boss sat me down and just said, 'yes, we're very pleased', and that was about it! We used the remaining time to discuss the projects we have on the go and my goals for them. I must admit that I felt a rare warm glow of satisfaction. Yes it has taken a lot of work to get to this point put it really is yet another gift of sobriety.

Good to see you Manta - I guess you'll be off on your walk by now. Enjoy the meal at the end of it! Hello to everyone else - nice to hear from you all.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend. Best wishes to all. Forwards.