franklin1122

Hi, everyone. I'm on my second day without a drink. I'm not sure how this forum works but I started a 90-days without alcohol challenge. Still feel like crap, but hopefully, it will get better. I tried quitting alcohol before, but then I just start again. I always drink until I blackout. I'm trying to stop binge-drinking so that I can progress with my life and stop falling into an unproductive pit filled with headaches, empty accounts, and unwanted mood swings.

Sober45

Congrats on Day 2 When I first came here I wrote somewhere "this is day 1 of my one year challenge". Here I am now, 9 months sober, after many years of daily drinking.

My suggestion would be to read as much as you can on here and stay in the day you're in....there's a lot of truth to the one day at a time mantra (for me anyways). Also, most of us need a plan for exactly what we will do during our drinking time. I spent loads of time on this site.

The relief I feel now because alcohol is no longer a part of my daily equation, is immense. It takes time but sobriety is 100% worth it.

franklin1122

Thank you and well done on your 9 months.

Anna

Welcome Franklin and I'm glad you've made this decision.

I hope, at the end of the 90 days, you feel so good and your life has noticeably improved, and that you will continue your recovery.

franklin1122

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

lessgravity

Good work, and welcome. I remember those days - of choosing diets or entering a race or a challenge like that in order to try and not drink for a period of time. But there's an element of white-knuckling and will power that is inherent in that kind of decision that makes the whole experience difficult. And, sadly to say, at least for me, always ended in me drinking again. Finally accepting that I could never drink again and doing the good, hard work to fortify that decision has given me the sober life I had always been hoping and fighting for.

I don't mean to say this to discourage you. A sober three months is still a great accomplishment. Stay strong and check in often.

franklin1122

Thanks for your honesty. I'll check in often.

Robbie64

Welcome to SR franklin. Congratulations on day 2 and on making the decision to stop drinking for 90 days. Think of it as less of a challenge and more as a committment. 90 days of sobriety would be excellent and could be the start of a new sober life for you if that is what you want.

franklin1122

That is exactly what I want, and thank you.

Gabe1980

Hey Franklin, lovely to have you here...

There are quite a few of us in the early days and it really helps to check in and talk about how things are going for you. I will look forward to hear about how you are getting on

franklin1122

Thanks and hopefully the majority of us will be able to pull through.

gypsytears

Hi & welcome Franklin. The first few days aren’t very fun but it does get better. I hope you stick around!

Dee74

Hi and welcome Franklin - as much as I hoped 90 days would reset me as a normal drinker, I'd been an abnormal one for over 20 years.

My relationship with alcohol was toxic.
No transitory period of sober time could compete with that.

I confused abstinence for control, and learned they were two different things.

Got to about 2 months - was very cranky - drank and started again from where I left off.

I do understand 90 days is a more relatable period than forever and I'm not trying to put you off - 90 days is a laudable aim, but I hope you decide to continue at the end

D

least

I think you'll find, at the end of 90 days sober, that you like your sober life too much to start drinking again.

matrac

Dee....wonder if you could expand on confusing abstinence for control.

Dee74

I would very often mistake abstinence for control.

My record before SR was about 2 months

I went 2 months and began to think -

well I haven't been drinking alcohol for 2 months - I've learned control.
I no longer 'need' to drink - hooray.!

The next thought was invariably
I can apply this newly learned control and just drink a little.every so often, like a gentleman.

Of course when I did drink again, I found I had no more control over my drinking that I did before - sometimes it was less control....

I could drink again today after 13 years and I believe I'd be back at square one if not worse, in no time at all.
I don't see it as a sad thing - it's simply a vindication of my no drinking ever approach

so..that's why I say don't confuse abstinence for control - they are not the same thing.

Hope that explains it a little better matrac
D

matrac

Thanks Dee. That’s how I messed up too....thinking that I would never go back to drinking the way that I had.

fancymesober

Rooting for you to make it 90 days! I agree with least that after 90 days you'll likely find motivation to keep going. Working my way back to 90 days and beyond myself

Mizz

Good on you for making this decision. Not an easy thing to do. May you find, at the end of your three months, that alcohol serves no purpose in your life anymore. Stay close!

Hodd

It’s obvious to the likes of us, Dee. It’s scary that we’ll be back to our bad old ways within literally a week or two if we drink again. Scarier still is the fact that no official website or publication says this. I really believed I’d give up for a few months and be able to drink again too. If more people knew this isn’t possible, there’d be way less relapses.