Routines
 

I have been thinking about the importance of routines in recovery. I think I am a person who really thrives on routine but it has been rare that I have ever had a good one!

I was one of those young drinkers that lived in chaos, right through my 20s and most of my 30s. It did start to improve but COVID has stripped quite a lot of that away. It's one of the things I am starting to address and I was curious as to how important people routines were to them in recovery. Especially early recovery.....:tyou

I definitely used routine in the early days, but being too inflexible is as bad as doing things on the fly IMO.

If my plan includes the gym and I break my foot, I need to have the flexibility to tweak my plain.

If I'm suddenly ambushed with an opportunity to drink, I need to have the flexibility to respond in a timely, positive and recovery protecting way.

A good plan should cover all eventualities including disruption to routine, I thnk?

D

That was always my downfall in the last couple of years.....I made a routine that was so difficult to keep, or not enjoyable, that it lead to failure and then I gave up. If you have two hours worth of stuff you are supposed to do before starting work the life becomes pretty grim. I think I am going to focus on things I like, that help me feel good and that keep me well, but not be fanatical about it. I have practically no routine now though, so I am just looking for a balanced place to start :tyou

I find that for this alcoholic routine is very important. I wish I could expand on that, but I’m just not sure how to put it into words. It just works.

My routine involves waking up, getting dressed putting on my shoes, and off to the liquor store
...

Routines are important but I agree with D, being inflexible is not good. I like to distinguish routines from goals. For example, if my morning routine is to start my day doing something good for my sobriety, my GOAL might be to sit down and write in a gratitude journal. But life happens, and maybe it’s telling myself what I’m grateful for while brushing my teeth. Hope that makes sense.

This is always a great question. I think it's important to find what works for you and trying different things is the best way to figure it out.

I have never had much routine in my life and prefer it this way, like the flexibility. Whatever routine I have is centered around efficiency and some self-care: how I start my days (the first 1-2 hours), how I work, and keeping health-related and some grooming appointments regularly (or as much as I can this year). What I find much more important for me is planning and scheduling. I'm the kind of person who operates the best way and am the happiest when I can plan what I am going to do in advance, including spending time with hobbies and fun activities. I don't treat it as set in stone, but I find it very motivating to have a structure and schedule that I create myself. It also appeal to my control freak parts. The latter is very important, as I have never been able to live well according to externally set schedules and structures, the deadlines and meetings I tend to have with work are perfectly enough for me. I rarely have two days or weeks that run the same way in sobriety, need a lot of variety and novelty to feel satisfied and balanced.

Of course if you make your own programming, it takes a lot of discipline to then execute. This had been very challenging to re-learn (and, in many ways, learn anew) after getting sober, as of course my alcoholic habits were nothing close to efficient and health-promoting. But even then, I personally never strictly followed the structure and principles set by any one recovery program, combining them and blending with what works for me was the best. For me, the highest level of repetition in my life was while I was drinking alcoholically, and it only caused frustration. So I would say that my sober life involves a lot of planning and scheduling but not necessarily routine.

Routines have been huge for me. But most importantly, how I start my day. If I am up early, eating a good breakfast and getting in some type of exercise then my day is so much better. If I sleep in, kind of laze about the house, I find that I will get very tired and end up not doing anything all day (if I don't have to work) Keeping busy helps me not think about drinking or the cravings.

Routine is good, but being a Task Master works against me.

My routine in early sobriety was full of Grace.

Make the bed
Eat three meals, do the dishes, put them away
Log in, post and read on SR
Take a walk outdoors
Add to my gratitude list


For the first four months I also went to an AA meeting every day, sometimes 2-4 meetings in a day. That was tremendously helpful too.

These are brilliant, thank you everybody for posting....

I am out just now but will reply properly when I am home. I am excited to be planning a new way of life, not just a life with no alcohol xx

:tyou

Hi Gabe. I do better with a routine and I want to get one going...it makes me feel more grounded.

I have a bit of a routine with work and all but I think more will come together with time being sober for me. I can depend on myself when I am sober!

Hope you are well!

I'm not terribly rigid, but do like a routine. I like feeling like I'm going in order, thing one, thing two, thing three, and so on, during the day. The one thing I especially like about my routine is that (weather permitting) I walk my little dog several times a day. Potty time can be out in the dog yard, but walk time is more about sniffing and enjoying the walk. :)

I also like following a routine (mostly) for the stability if offers. I come to expect myself to do certain things, like dog walking, cleaning, errands, and so forth.

I also have a hard time defining it, but I usually stick to a routine and it makes my life simpler. :)

Gabe, I thrive on routine. The down-side of that was when I turned to alcohol to self-medicate, I quickly fell into a routine which led to alcoholism. The upside was that in early recovery, I quickly fell into a routine which helped me change my evening routine and avoid drinking. I find comfort in having a daily/weekly routine and I try not to get stuck in it. I agree with what Dee said about being flexible, especially when things come along unexpectedly. I think Covid has made many of us make new routines.

In early sobriety, I found routines helpful -- especially to establish a new routine for the time of day when I used to start drinking (right after work). I made sure I had plans of some kind for 6 - 8 pm every night, for the first few months. Later in the process, I was loading my days up with too much routine and too many tasks, out of fear -- as if, "if I don't do these 14 things every day, I might not stay sober". I came to realize this was nonsense -- I stayed sober by not drinking. It was important to develop self care and new interests, but I needed to strike a balance too, and not drive myself like a task master out of fear. It took some time to develop the balance.

Mine was drink, work recover.....there just hasn't been much else for a while....Oh I forgot, worry too!

I think that too. I think we need the structure. My problem was always coming up with a routine that worked and that wasn't a punishment.....I don't cope with failure too well. I am just taking my time. The most important thing at the moment is to get out and spend time with people. I am no good at that, but today will be the third day this week I have gone for coffee and a wander round the town.

It does puzzle, thank you. I started a routine at the beginning of the year and I was trying to read, write a bit,swim, do gratitude work....all before I started work for the day. I think I lasted about 4 days before I couldn't get up that early......I think consciously trying to take time in the day to acknowledge things and be grateful is a better way to do it. I do want to do all the things above, but trying to force it all just makes is so much harder to cope with being sober xx

That's really interesting, thank you.....I guess I am trying to find things I enjoy and not to feel guilty about them. So the grooming part I really get and it's one of the things that I really tried to invest in, when I am sober. Getting my hair done etc was always low on the priority list , but I feel like it represents making my well-being important to me. And it's spending the money, considering how much being an alcoholic costs!

So, I think that and being around people is important. I do need to exercise more and this is the thing that trips me up, because I can get quite obsessive, so I am just taking my time with that. I need to schedule, or I just don't do much with my free time.

That's interesting because this sounds like me.....I do much better if I get up and get out. I am lucky in that I have quite a lot of flexibility over my working hours, so it's a good opportunity to re-plan things. I am going to get back to exercising in the morning because it is the BEST thing for my mood and anxiety. I know that, I have just been struggling to find the motivation, but that feels better now than in previous weeks.

Thanks Bim, I like that a lot because it sounds simple.....I am the master of over complicating things. I am managing quite a few of those things already and I am going to start posting on the gratitude thread here, as part of my SR routine. I think I have become very isolated in my own head, being around people but not really being there....I am trying to step outside myself a bit and all of this helps me do that.