DriGuy

I had not fully committed to it either at first. It was more like "OK, I'll try this," but I quickly made that commitment, as soon as I got through the worst of the cravings. It's hard to explain; I call it a commitment, but it was also a lot like a RECOGNITION that I would never drink again combined with a recognition that I would never HAVE TO drink again. I was so sick of alcoholism that all I needed was to realize I could do it. That's when I declared to my group that I would never drink again, which caused some dismay among others who warned me that I should not think like that, because relapse could happen to anyone.

It was like some members of my group had thrown down the gauntlet of challenge. Did they want to take bets on it or something? Was this supposed to be a battle? I thought, "OK, I can do it that way too if you want." My bull headed nature could finally be put to some good use.

I kept that in the back of my mind which helped me stay vigilant against any of those AV thoughts that would make me think I was invulnerable to relapse. I recognize I am not invulnerable, but by God, I still insist I will never drink again now that I've had a taste of the better life. I'm not giving this up. Logically, there would be no point in it.

Don't be afraid to commit. If you screw up and relapse, what are they going to do? Shoot you?