This Place Offers Little to No Support
 

No matter where I post a thread my threads get little to no responses compared to everyone else. It's not about attention, it's about the fact that I have little to no support in real life and can't seem to even do an online forum right. Someone tell me wtf I've done so wrong to rub this supposed "community" the wrong way. I don't feel like this a community at all.

What about my posts are so wrong? I'm looking for clarification before I stop posting here.

I honestly want to know because I feel like I can't even do the online thing right. My counselor tells me I should be seeking support from other sources, yet I feel like all my threads just get skated over. Ton a views and little to no responses.

THANK YOU to the people who do respond.

The thread that you started on Sept 29th got 25 replies that were positive and encouraging.

The thread you started on the 21st, had 32 responses.

I don't know why you think you aren't getting support and I don't understand why you think you're doing something wrong. Your posts are fine.

What is it you are looking for from this community? Or is the fact that you have little to no support in real life, and so you hoped for so much more here?

If you don't see that my threads get hardly any responses compared to everyone else then I don't know what to even say. I want to know what I'm doing wrong compared to everyone else? How have I rubbed this community the wrong way that everyone else get's way more support / advice then I do.

It's not about attention as I said. It's the fact that I seemingly can't even do right on an online forum.

Anna asks good questions here. What is it you want that you feel you are not getting?

One from 2017 with 96 replies.

Treeguy, I don't see that. And quite frankly I find it unfair and inappropriate that you suggest our members are choosing to shut out some members. That is absolutely 100% NOT the case.

I see that some threads get more support, some get less support. That's the way a message board works. I see that you respond to other members' thread sometimes and that a positive thing.

Have you considered reaching out to some members via PM if you want to have more contact?

Lol okay. Three years ago. That doesn’t mean **** to me now in 2020.

I don’t see it as unfair at all. I honestly feel singled out on here. I can’t help that.

Hi treeguy
I’m sorry you feel you’re not getting support.

Man, when I was drinking I had very little self esteem. I was constantly putting myself down.

At the same time tho I was comparing myself to others and feeling like they got all the breaks, all the love and all the focus and that made me mad and resentful, as well as reinforcing my lack of self esteem.

Things like that drove me away from seeking support, it isolated me - and left me vulnerable to thoughts of drinking or toking again - cos what’s the point, people don’t want to help me anyway, and so I might as well give up and drink/use...

Do you think, in all honesty, there might be some of that lack of self esteem going on here, even just a little?

You’re being singled out *and* ignored? That sounds like AV to me - illogical to the last.

I’m not dumping on you. You wouldn’t be the first person or the last. Like I said Ihave been there. This is not a rebuke or a challenge.

I hope you stay here, I hope you keep posting and stay connected and I hope you stay sober. 5 days is a good start :)

I also hope,if after mulling this over, you really feel you’re not getting what you want, you’ll tell us what good support would look like to you. Give us a chance to help :)

D

Well I blew the 5 days and am back on day zero again so...

still, this week was a win. Only 2 days of drinking/ using which is definitely progress for me!

Now I will aim to get 5-6 days sober after getting four days under my belt before relapsing.

"I feel singled out."

That's on you. Get some sober time and that self-pity goes away. Ask me how I know.

If you want to make connections with people, have you tried being a support to others? I haven't started threads on here, other than AA "Thought for the day," threads.

I have made 20,000 plus posts, though. I don't feel un-supported. What do you expect from typing out a bunch of posts that are frankly pretty prickly? Are you in a, "Class of __________," thread? That's where I spent my early months of sobriety.


Have you thought about volunteering in your neighborhood? I'm sure there is an old or young person who would love your help with something. Why not call a local charity and get plugged in with some face to face helping?

okay

This comes strictly from my perspective so keep in mind that is heavily skewed by the convoluted 15 pound orb that sits atop my shoulders, but in reading your posts they seem to me to be more along the lines of a journal. You don't really give me much meat to grab onto in order to reply, not that you necessarily need to or should, but I just never see any openings for me to squeeze through in order to join in. It seems that any questions you ask, you also quickly answer or you give reasons why you can't do something before you even mention what the something you can't do is.

As I said in my opening, this is strictly the feeling I get when reading your posts. I can't effectively explain why I feel that way, but I just do. The reason I shared is that I do not want you to feel alone. You are not. People are listening. People care. Some people, me being a prime example, just don't know what to say.

Ok I have removed some posts. Please keep things civil and constructive,.

Dee
Administrator
SR

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Hi tree guy. I’m sorry you relapsed. And I’m sorry you don’t feel supported. Reading and posting to other people’s threads is as helpful as people posting to ones you start yourself in my opinion. I don’t know if you post a lot honestly I’m just noticing today’s posts. I hope you stick around and keep posting.

I’ve closed the thread for a while to let heads cool off.

D