RobbyRobot
EndGame
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
RobbyRobot
He was a regular here at one time but died from cancer. I don't remember how long ago.
He was one of the coolest people I've ever met. He struggled with several challenging situations in his life. He helped a lot of people here in ways that got people's attention and, for some people, helped them to feel as though someone cared.
Smart, compassionate, generous, sense of humor/perspective, and a lovely wife whom he clearly loved.
He cared genuinely about what was important or meaningful to other people. My impression is that's what a lot of people felt about him when he engaged them. A real person, all the way on the other side of the Internet.
I wanted to look through a couple of his posts tonight without knowing why. I liked the first one I clicked, so that's the one I brought with me.
He was one of the coolest people I've ever met. He struggled with several challenging situations in his life. He helped a lot of people here in ways that got people's attention and, for some people, helped them to feel as though someone cared.
Smart, compassionate, generous, sense of humor/perspective, and a lovely wife whom he clearly loved.
He cared genuinely about what was important or meaningful to other people. My impression is that's what a lot of people felt about him when he engaged them. A real person, all the way on the other side of the Internet.
I wanted to look through a couple of his posts tonight without knowing why. I liked the first one I clicked, so that's the one I brought with me.
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot 
I've drank to null out the pains of my life when I was drinking as a go-to solution. Didn't work over the long-haul. In fact, my pains got a whole lot worse and so did the quality of my life. As I continued to go south, my drinking continued to overwhelm me at every turn. Eventually I didn't know if I was going to blackout or be able to slowly nurse my drink just enough to keep the DT's away. Scary times. Painful times.
Drinking did give to me what it promised early on, and this of course only helped me become seriously addicted on so many levels. It never though helped me get on with the real deal living a free life. My enslavement to alcohol was more real then anything I could do about it. while drinking. Eventually all I could do was surrender to my alcoholism. To my horror my alcoholism wasn't taking prisoners, lol. In my conditional surrender I drank even more abjectly in even more depravity. I was well on my way to dying, and I knew it, and although I did care somewhat, I also didn't care and so in some ways I was ready to welcome death as long as I could die drunk I could handle it I lied to myself.
Dying drunk really played on what was left of me. Guess it was my bottom because the more I realised I was going to get what I wanted if I kept drinking the more I realised I didn't want to die drunk. My last years of drinking were bad as I wrestled with not dying drunk. I went to my first AA meeting drunk and a few days later into residential rehab and therapy. Living with other alcoholics was exactly what I needed. I finally saw how unconditionally quitting forever could work out for me. I discovered how my life-long sobriety could be sustained. I began to believe in myself, my life, and in others who were my early peers in alcoholism. Reaching out and helping others help me as I in turn helped them all this saved my sorry drunken self.
I still have pains, of course, goes without saying, yeah? I still hurt over whatever hurts me. I don't drink over being hurt anymore because I don't want to be hurt, and drinking obviously hurt me. Forgiveness was key for me to not chase down my hurts anymore. Acceptance of 'what is is' really turned things around for me permanently because when we accept what is we get another chance to change what is into something else - into a new what is, so to speak. Of course, some things just can't be morphed into something else, and that is okay too when it happens for real. Reality is cool.
I can't promise if you quit drinking you'll stay married. I can probably promise if you keep drinking you'll more than likely have a divorce anyways and that will just hurt even more. I can promise when we deal with our hurts and pains in real time in real life, they hurt as little as we can manage to make them hurt.
Take it easy, and I hope you quit drinking sooner than later.
Drinking did give to me what it promised early on, and this of course only helped me become seriously addicted on so many levels. It never though helped me get on with the real deal living a free life. My enslavement to alcohol was more real then anything I could do about it. while drinking. Eventually all I could do was surrender to my alcoholism. To my horror my alcoholism wasn't taking prisoners, lol. In my conditional surrender I drank even more abjectly in even more depravity. I was well on my way to dying, and I knew it, and although I did care somewhat, I also didn't care and so in some ways I was ready to welcome death as long as I could die drunk I could handle it I lied to myself.
Dying drunk really played on what was left of me. Guess it was my bottom because the more I realised I was going to get what I wanted if I kept drinking the more I realised I didn't want to die drunk. My last years of drinking were bad as I wrestled with not dying drunk. I went to my first AA meeting drunk and a few days later into residential rehab and therapy. Living with other alcoholics was exactly what I needed. I finally saw how unconditionally quitting forever could work out for me. I discovered how my life-long sobriety could be sustained. I began to believe in myself, my life, and in others who were my early peers in alcoholism. Reaching out and helping others help me as I in turn helped them all this saved my sorry drunken self.
I still have pains, of course, goes without saying, yeah? I still hurt over whatever hurts me. I don't drink over being hurt anymore because I don't want to be hurt, and drinking obviously hurt me. Forgiveness was key for me to not chase down my hurts anymore. Acceptance of 'what is is' really turned things around for me permanently because when we accept what is we get another chance to change what is into something else - into a new what is, so to speak. Of course, some things just can't be morphed into something else, and that is okay too when it happens for real. Reality is cool.
I can't promise if you quit drinking you'll stay married. I can probably promise if you keep drinking you'll more than likely have a divorce anyways and that will just hurt even more. I can promise when we deal with our hurts and pains in real time in real life, they hurt as little as we can manage to make them hurt.
Take it easy, and I hope you quit drinking sooner than later.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
That’s a great post by Robby. I find myself looking at posts from Bill and Gilmer sometimes, I like remembering them. It definitely is a reminder of the lasting impact people can have.
I hope you’re doing well EndGame!
I hope you’re doing well EndGame!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,588
Thanks for posting that EndGame. I didn't know Robbie, but have seen him mentioned many times. I figured he must have been a cool guy.
Pearls of wisdom throughout his entire post. Thanks Robbie.
Hope you are doing well too, EndGame.
Pearls of wisdom throughout his entire post. Thanks Robbie.
Hope you are doing well too, EndGame.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
Thanks EndGame
Robby passed away in 2015. I still often think of him and his wife, Ajax/Melissa.
Several of Robbys 'Authenticity' threads are in the Best of Sober Recovery forum.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...soberrecovery/
Robby passed away in 2015. I still often think of him and his wife, Ajax/Melissa.
Several of Robbys 'Authenticity' threads are in the Best of Sober Recovery forum.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...soberrecovery/
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: East Midlands UK
Posts: 502
The first time I joined SR was the night of the SuperBowl in 2015 (1st Feb) so I can remember the people mentioned in this thread.
As has been said, shows what an impression people can leave in your lives.
As has been said, shows what an impression people can leave in your lives.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
Robby was a beacon of recovery. His wisdom helped me no end when I was in early and earlyish recovery. He had a wonderful positive message of recovery and I was really shocked and saddened to hear of his death a year or so ago. He is most definitely missed and his words and wisdom will live on forever 🙏
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Thank you EndGame, when I first landed on Sober Recovery, I read a multitude of Robby's posts in the Secular Rational Recovery AVRT threads. Robby had a plethora of knowledge and experience and seemed to blend AV Recognition and AA.
His posts taught me a lot. I never had the privilege to interact with Robby, because I joined in 2016, and he passed away the year prior. I thought he was still active, then discovered the threads that Dee linked above. I remember how sad I felt, that a man I'd never met, had lain down posts in Secular AVRT and other places, that helped me to stop drinking.
His posts taught me a lot. I never had the privilege to interact with Robby, because I joined in 2016, and he passed away the year prior. I thought he was still active, then discovered the threads that Dee linked above. I remember how sad I felt, that a man I'd never met, had lain down posts in Secular AVRT and other places, that helped me to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
I loved Robby. He was so generous with his time and he listened to me and advised me often.
His death felt like a huge loss to me. It shows the power of SR, when a person you’ve never met can influence your whole life.
❤️
His death felt like a huge loss to me. It shows the power of SR, when a person you’ve never met can influence your whole life.
❤️
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Thanks for this post, EG. I still recall Robby quite often and very dearly. He was one of my favorite SR members, too, throughout the ~10 years I have been using this forum on and off. Learned a lot from him and via interacting with him... not only about recovery.
He died in the late summer of 2015. Don't even need to look up, remember it very well, because it was a couple months apart from my father's death - another one of the most influential people in my life. Even since then, I haven't met any person who had such an impact on me as those two. Robby was also very brave, discussing here with us regularly some of the most intimate details of his end-of-life struggles. I sometimes still recommend reading the old threads with Robby to newer SR members.
He died in the late summer of 2015. Don't even need to look up, remember it very well, because it was a couple months apart from my father's death - another one of the most influential people in my life. Even since then, I haven't met any person who had such an impact on me as those two. Robby was also very brave, discussing here with us regularly some of the most intimate details of his end-of-life struggles. I sometimes still recommend reading the old threads with Robby to newer SR members.
EndGame
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Delilah1
That’s a great post by Robby. I find myself looking at posts from Bill and Gilmer sometimes, I like remembering them. It definitely is a reminder of the lasting impact people can have.
I hope you’re doing well EndGame!
I hope you’re doing well EndGame!
I wish you well
EndGame
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Steely
Thanks for posting that EndGame. I didn't know Robbie, but have seen him mentioned many times. I figured he must have been a cool guy.
Pearls of wisdom throughout his entire post. Thanks Robbie.
Hope you are doing well too, EndGame.
Pearls of wisdom throughout his entire post. Thanks Robbie.
Hope you are doing well too, EndGame.
Stay safe
EndGame
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Dee74
Thanks EndGame
Robby passed away in 2015. I still often think of him and his wife, Ajax/Melissa.
Several of Robbys 'Authenticity' threads are in the Best of Sober Recovery forum.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...soberrecovery/
Robby passed away in 2015. I still often think of him and his wife, Ajax/Melissa.
Several of Robbys 'Authenticity' threads are in the Best of Sober Recovery forum.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...soberrecovery/
I was happy to go looking for him last night.
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