Round to it this weekend? - 02-05 October 2020 Weekenders
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I'm sorry you're feeling so low MantaLady.
For me the only way I'm going to survive the next 6 months or a year or however long it is til we hit the post COVID world is to stay sober.
Drinking again would just open the floodgates on all those fears and worries and swamp me.
My fear tells me that things will always be this way now or worse - but I have no basis for that fear. In fact I think that I'm better off now in a lot of ways that I was in March.
If you are missing human interaction why not call some friends, or family, or join other forums?
While it's true you can't talk politics here, there's absolutely nothing stopping you discussing politics on other sites or other places, if that helps you.
Gotta tell you, I miss the real, non drinking Manta.
You've helped a lot of folks here over the years - and a lot of people are here waiting to return the favour.
don't be too unkind to yourself, ok?
D
For me the only way I'm going to survive the next 6 months or a year or however long it is til we hit the post COVID world is to stay sober.
Drinking again would just open the floodgates on all those fears and worries and swamp me.
My fear tells me that things will always be this way now or worse - but I have no basis for that fear. In fact I think that I'm better off now in a lot of ways that I was in March.
If you are missing human interaction why not call some friends, or family, or join other forums?
While it's true you can't talk politics here, there's absolutely nothing stopping you discussing politics on other sites or other places, if that helps you.
Gotta tell you, I miss the real, non drinking Manta.
You've helped a lot of folks here over the years - and a lot of people are here waiting to return the favour.
don't be too unkind to yourself, ok?
D
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Thanks Sao! It’s hard to express with non uk people and our county rules how frustrating and confusing this all is. I have pretty much been alone since March, my area is high Covid so we are in and out of serious lockdown constantly. It’s really wearing and getting me down x
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Thanks Dee, I know the sober Manta is a much better person than I am being right now. You’ve put up with a lot from me and I really appreciate you have never given up on me even when I might have given up on myself x
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
hang in there Manta. it is tough, especially if you're on your own, but drinking's not the answer. I live alone & I'm pretty happy with my own company most of the time, but six months is pushing it - I do have a (rare) bit of sympathy for extroverts. 
get some sleep & I hope things look a bit better in the morning. x
get some sleep & I hope things look a bit better in the morning. x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Well it's 4 am. I can't sleep and I have either bad allergies or a cold. Feeling pretty miserable.
Manta I am struggling too, I am on my own, covid or not. I am not able to work and gave up on my friends, or they on me, for various reasons over the years. I see my Dad as and when I need to, he is miserable, mean and brings back terrible scary memories which trigger me. Other than that I rarely see or speak to anyone. It's tough. That is my life.
I joke about on here, but often that is not how I am really feeling. It's a facade.
When I feel well enough I go on long, long walks, even that is lonely. Beautiful places that I have no one to share with.
Thankfully I am not drinking though, but the thoughts are increasing. I hope you stop, it will get worse if you don't.
Well done Erica.
Manta I am struggling too, I am on my own, covid or not. I am not able to work and gave up on my friends, or they on me, for various reasons over the years. I see my Dad as and when I need to, he is miserable, mean and brings back terrible scary memories which trigger me. Other than that I rarely see or speak to anyone. It's tough. That is my life.
I joke about on here, but often that is not how I am really feeling. It's a facade.
When I feel well enough I go on long, long walks, even that is lonely. Beautiful places that I have no one to share with.
Thankfully I am not drinking though, but the thoughts are increasing. I hope you stop, it will get worse if you don't.
Well done Erica.
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,644
MantaLady, 
I’m sorry you’re feeling down, it can be hard, going it alone and for so long. Much harder with alcohol in the mix though. I hope you can find something to interest you. How are your kitties doing. They must be just about fully grown now.
Kaily, You have a great, dry sense of humour (or that’s my take on it), keep it one if your uppermost rooms in your head. I’m glad you share your walks with us in pictures.
Erica, nice one!
I’m sorry you’re feeling down, it can be hard, going it alone and for so long. Much harder with alcohol in the mix though. I hope you can find something to interest you. How are your kitties doing. They must be just about fully grown now. Kaily, You have a great, dry sense of humour (or that’s my take on it), keep it one if your uppermost rooms in your head. I’m glad you share your walks with us in pictures.
Erica, nice one!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 782
Morning Kaily - it's 4:41 am and I'm awake and reading SR. I'm sorry you are struggling a bit at the moment. I've had a few ups and downs emotionally myself over the last couple of weeks and my mental health is still not one hundred percent but I do keep reminding myself of how much better life is without drinking. Small rewards and gratitude keep me positive and moving forward for the time being.
Hi Manta, good to see you here. Being home alone sounds tough. I'm in a shared house which has its frustrations but I much prefer it to living alone where personal demons can run riot. The downside though is that it seems almost inevitable that one of us will get the virus and then we will surely all succumb. The youngest housemate is often out socialising and we can't really stop him. Worrying times. Anyway, do keep posting...
I'm going to try to get back to sleep so I can enjoy the start of the weekend refreshed. Best wishes to all, night owls or larks... Forwards.
Hi Manta, good to see you here. Being home alone sounds tough. I'm in a shared house which has its frustrations but I much prefer it to living alone where personal demons can run riot. The downside though is that it seems almost inevitable that one of us will get the virus and then we will surely all succumb. The youngest housemate is often out socialising and we can't really stop him. Worrying times. Anyway, do keep posting...
I'm going to try to get back to sleep so I can enjoy the start of the weekend refreshed. Best wishes to all, night owls or larks... Forwards.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Thanks everyone. I really need to sort myself out, I have been spiralling out of control for a while and fed up of doing this to myself. Today is a new day and I am going to try again. The thought of months more restrictions and not being able to go to meetings or be with people is so daunting but it’s going to feel much worse if I don’t stay sober.
Max the kitten is all grown up now, glad I have him and little Alfie for company. There both a bundle of trouble but they keep me on my toes!!
Max the kitten is all grown up now, glad I have him and little Alfie for company. There both a bundle of trouble but they keep me on my toes!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 6,848
Thanks for this new chapter Mags ☼
Courage MantaLady, you can make it one day at a time.
Count me in for another sober weekend.
It's a special one for me : it's weekend # 200 !
I like round numbers haha!
Have a good day Weekenders!
Courage MantaLady, you can make it one day at a time.
Count me in for another sober weekend.
It's a special one for me : it's weekend # 200 !
I like round numbers haha!
Have a good day Weekenders!
ours de petit cerveau
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,630
morning Manta, hope you're feeling a bit happier today..
do you have a plan? what are you going to do instead of drinking the next time your AV comes calling? what resources do you have to reach out to? as well as all us lovely people here of course
Originally Posted by MantaLady 
Today is a new day and I am going to try again.
do you have a plan? what are you going to do instead of drinking the next time your AV comes calling? what resources do you have to reach out to? as well as all us lovely people here of course
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yeah, Manta, this is the singles club here, doncha know? Living alone never had so many drawbacks and I've lived alone most of my adult life. By choice, but up until these past few months I was able to get out and do a comfortable-for-me amount of socializing. I'm retired-ish so I do feel unmoored with this whole covid cooties thing.
As always I remind myself I cannot do a thing about lockdowns and viruses and I try to stay busy. There is always a walk that needs taking. With my car giving me trouble and some health problems on top it's just turtles all the way down. Too much time to think is not a good thing.
The vaccines look promising and really our hospitalization numbers are very low right now - but that's because we're still under a restricted social distancing and mask order. Some things are just for the greater good.
It's hard on the whole world right now.
As always I remind myself I cannot do a thing about lockdowns and viruses and I try to stay busy. There is always a walk that needs taking. With my car giving me trouble and some health problems on top it's just turtles all the way down. Too much time to think is not a good thing.
The vaccines look promising and really our hospitalization numbers are very low right now - but that's because we're still under a restricted social distancing and mask order. Some things are just for the greater good.
It's hard on the whole world right now.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
I'm really happy that your posting Manta Lady and that you are going to get sober again.
There are alot of online and zoom meetings still going on. I can send you a few links via pm if you are interested...
Pretty horrible weather here this weekend. So it's some netflix and toast time 🐸🐸
Happy 200 weekends CK 👍
There are alot of online and zoom meetings still going on. I can send you a few links via pm if you are interested...
Pretty horrible weather here this weekend. So it's some netflix and toast time 🐸🐸
Happy 200 weekends CK 👍
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