RAB12345

I skim through a lot of these posts and I see people at 30 days, 60 days, 90 days etc. talking about how they are doing good or great in early sobriety and they're so happy with their lives without alcohol. And here I am, 100 or so days sober, struggling just to get through the day. Had an 8 day stay in the psych hospital and now I'm adjusting to medication to help combat the anxiety and depression(with depression being something I've never experienced until I quit drinking). Why am I suffering so much when everyone else seems to be doing good? I just need to vent.

AAPJ

Not everyone does that well. Some of us struggle for a long time. But no matter what alcohol will not make it better for more than an hour and then it just goes downhill. Not worth it. Hang in there it will get better.

nez

I can relate as in early sobriety I certainly didn't experience the pink cloud that so many seem to walk around on. I was all over the place with anxiety, fear, and swings in emotions. I have learned over time to not judge my insides by the outsides of others. What I perceive about the outsides of others may be an accurate reflection of their insides, and it may not be. Either way, the time I spend judging me by looking at them, is time that could be better spent by working on healing and improving myself.

doggonecarl

I think you've been doing some selective reading if you only see the posts from folks who love early sobriety. Early recovery is a roller coaster. Stay strong.

least

Don't judge your insides by others' outsides. You never know what people are really feeling and experiencing.

The advice I got when I was around 3 months sober and not 'feeling it', was to start practicing gratitude every day. Try that. Every day find at least one thing to be grateful for. The more I look for to be grateful for, the more I find.

Being grateful makes me happier and more content. Try it.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

GeoGo

I'm closing in on three months of sobriety and today had the thought "is this it"? Like it should somehow feel better than it does to be sober.
I've had some days where depression sets in, but then remind myself about how bad it was while drinking and figure that feeling OK or even a bit depressed occasionally is much better than the alternative.

Dee74

I'm not sure they are in the majority but some people can stop drinking and their lives immediately improve.
For others, especially those with other co-existing problems, like anxiety or depression, we have to deal with those other problems too.

Keep seeing people who can help, keep trying to find solutions and, above all, stay sober. I have faith things will improve for you

D

Sober45

Recovery is a process. I have almost 9 months but I’m going to need years to get to where I want to be. Maybe more. If you were in a psychiatric ward than I’d assume you’ve been working on self improvement... that is how we do it in recovery. I think having unrealistic expectations about what early recovery should be like is a killer in recovery.

Look for the improvements you’ve made and dwell on them instead.

Anna

It wasn't a quick fix for me. I never experienced a pink cloud. And, it was about 3 months before I felt like I could properly breathe. I also deal with anxiety and depression and had been numbing those with alcohol. But, I was a total mess at the end of my drinking days, so even days where I could accomplish very little were better than that. I hope that you continue to work on your recovery and that you have success with the medication for your anxiety/depression.

tomls

For me, patience has been the most important, useful thing that I have learned. I still have to work at it. You won't believe how awesome sobriety is once you get past the stupid stuff! Best wishes for you on your journey!

RAB12345

I guess I am selectively reading. There seem to be many more posts that are just more positive sounding. I'm struggling with depression, fear, anxiety and a sense of dread every single day. Thanks everyone, I hope that the medication helps, but I know it can take a month or 2 to feel the benefits. I also can't relate when people say "It isnt as bad as it was when I was drinking"... i didn't have any emotional problems when i drank, it all started AFTER I quit. Still, I'm not worried about a relapse...I have no cravings or urges.

dpac414

A lot of times there are underlying issues that are what really cause the drinking and subsequent addiction. Once you take away your self medication, the issues are still there. I know I had to do a lot of self improvement and development with medication and therapy before I really started to feel better. I'm still doing it and there's still much to do.

I know it must feel frustrating to be sober for over 3 months and seemingly have no benefits. But they will come with consistent effort, and everyone's experience is different. It sounds like you're on the right track with the medication, and I hope you're also seeing a therapist to help you. It's hard work. It's really hard. I think you're doing what you need to be doing; stay on the course. You'll be okay

Sober45

Sometimes when I’m positive I could just as easily be negative. It’s an effort to re-evaluate and turn around my thinking. Looking for And expressing gratitude is also work. But they are becoming easier now.

the feeling of dread is the worst. Remember that your “baseline” emotions are in a state of change. Things will level out and you’ll feel more solid with time and patience.

sending positive relaxing vibes your way.

RAB12345

I definitely have underlying anxiety and always have. Now its 100X worse. Never had depression. I hope to god the antidepressant works. I have an appointment coming up with a very respected psychiatrist in my area and I've seen 2 different therapists but I'm still trying to find the right fit for me.

Obladi

Remember we live in a facebook world. Even when people are anonymous, they often feel that they need to put a good face on things. They don't want to be perceived as "whining" or whatever. I've noticed there's a good number of people in AA meetings that do the same thing. I'm sure it's true in any recovery environment, as it is in most (all?) environments in the real world.

In my opinion, you'll ultimately do better talking about how it really is, then taking suggestions on things that might help. Even though you may have no desire to do them. You know, like brush your teeth, make your bed every day, take 5 minutes to write a gratitude list, learn to meditate - even three minutes/day makes a difference. It was hard work for me just to get to what I consider baseline mental health, for me. I still face depression and anxiety, but I've learned to live through those bouts without drinking. That's progress, man!

Keep writing. Keep exploring what you are feeling and learning to accept that whatever it is right now, that's just what is. And you'll be ok. I really and truly believe you will - because now you've given yourself a fighting chance.

xo
O

p.s. Plenty of people who are "faking it until they make it" fall out of the saddle. Just because you don't see it happen doesn't mean that's not a fact. We all have our own journeys and it's our job to figure out what works for each one of us.

Sober45

Depression often comes after a period of extended anxiety. It’s psychological burnout. Your mind and body needs to heal. Be open and let the process occur, you do not need to doubt it. Doubt itself can be a tiring state of mind. Just be patient with yourself.

Hevyn

I was far from euphoric over giving it up. I knew I had to - but back then I thought of it as something I was losing. I was certain life would be dull without it, even though it was killing me. As others have said, it took 3-4 mos. to stop feeling sorry for myself & become excited about my new found freedom. Everyone doesn't do wonderfully right out of the gate. You are not alone, RAB.

nez

For the first 20 years that I drank, I would have said that I had no emotional problems and even if I did, although I didn't but just for the sake of argument (yeah right), the booze would have helped with them.

Then came the drinking years where I tried desperately to stop and discovered that I couldn't!!! Depression, fear, anxiety, and panic set in big time. Couple this with many failed attempts at stopping, and those feelings escalated. They continued into early sobriety as a carry-over because It took a while for me to start to feel safe and secure in my recovery.

Maybe the people who say "it isnt as bad as it was when I was drinking" got to the same advanced stage of drinking and failed attempts at stopping, with the accompanying depression etc. that I did, but because they felt safe and secure in their recovery faster than I did; could then make those statements.

I have no idea if this next thought is valid or not, but maybe you hadn't gotten to that stage in your drinking yet. Odds are good though that you would have if you continued to drink.

All I know is for God's sake don't return to drinking to find out the answer!

BeABetterMan

I’m almost 70 days. In the last week I have been so anxious that I have chewed my fingernails and cuticles until they bled. I’ve gained 10-15 pounds and I’m heavier than I’ve ever been. I’m constantly anxious and depressed a good amount of time. I’m lonely and sad.

But even with that, I still have much gratitude. If I feel this awful now I tell myself, how much worse would it be if I added my old enemy alcohol? I also go to a ton of AA meetings so I have hope. I believe in the promises of AA. I am suffering, especially and inexplicably physically, but I try not to focus on that portion of my recovery. I do some core things daily (exercise, pray, go to AA meetings, talk to my kids), and remain hopeful that if I continue to do the next right thing that my life will get better. And my friend, I really hope I’m right. Because, this fulking sucks.

StartAnew68

It may be that those who are struggling are finding it easier to read but not post.
I attend Zoom meetings and find on my down days I just want to sit and listen.