Kels1980

Hello, I’ve always binge drunk at weekends, but over the last 3 years I’ve started to drink every night. I promise myself everyday it’s the last time but by time night comes I’m doing it again. I’m scared I can’t stop. My dad died from alcoholic cirrhosis at 49. I don’t want to end up like him. Thanks in advance

someday147

Hi Kels and welcome You'll find lots of help and support here. I'm in early recovery and thought I couldn't stop too I was terrified. We are all here for you stay with us.

freedomfries

Welcome, you can do it!

Kels1980

Thanks do you have any advice I am currently sat here with a hangover and the feeling of guilt anxiety and depressed. I hate myself for being like this

C0ntr0ls

Welcome!

My advice is don't drink now and I promise life will be so much better. Easier said then done I know because it took me awhile to come to that conclusion even after I lost a lot and I mean a lot.

Once I wanted to be sober more then drunk, life got so much better and continues to get better.

someday147

You never have to feel like this again Kels we have all been there. We are all 1 drink away from a drunk no matter how much time we may have sober. It's hard in the first few days but try not to beat yourself up you've achieved a lot just by coming here and posting. Do whatever you need to in the first few days to not pick up a drink, go easy on yourself the anxiety and depression is just from coming off the alcohol it will pass with some sober time. Post and read on here as much as you need to. There are online meetings if you're interested in that you can just listen and don't have to be on video. Or just try and eat well drink plenty of water and/or light exercise and binge on netflix if that's your thing.

Kels1980

Thanks

D122y

This place saved my life. Education about what booze did to my mind was a big deal The body damage is the thing that we all know about.

Most of my anxiety, obsessing, agoraphobia, etc etc. were all caused by the booze. The real me was in there, but it was masked by the chemically altered me.

Each relapse, no matter how long the break, dug the recovery hole deeper.

I am still healing after all of this time.

Sugar tricks the brain and quells the crave. I stayed full of good and bad food for several months, work out 5 to 7 days a week, and come here almost daily to learn and be reminded of what awaits me either way.

Time and suffering. It gets better by the moment.

Thanks for the therapy.

Kels1980

I struggle to keep to my plan to stop. This is what scares me but I can’t go on feeling like this, I feel great when I don’t drink then I seem to reward myself with a drink.

Awake61

As I have noted here before. Death was my at my door in the end days of my drinking. Just drank day and night. That is all I did until a police officer found me and I was forced into stopping. His help started me caring a little about waking up, actually being there for myself and my family and my caring has grown into actually living. Please stop now. It does get better.

Be123

Hi Kels. Yes - this describes me to a tee until i stopped 7 months ago. It is worth the effort. I was anxious, low mood, physically sick pretty much all the time. I'm not anymore 👍

My belief is that the only way out of this illness is ACTION. Thinking won't cut it, because our thinking is the bit that is affected by our illness.

My plan was to the minute for the first few weeks. What I'd eat, where id go, what I'd do if I felt like I was going to drink. It seems exercise, food, mindfulness, some sort of therapeutic activity, being part of a group to support you, rest, positive activity (such as work or other positive thing) make up the back bone of most people's recovery.

Heres one for free (try it - it can't hurt can it!) - try porridge for breakfast. Slow release carbs soaked up my anxiety, made me feel positive, reminded me I was on a plan, and helped save my life. Alongside running and this place 😃

Kels1980

thanks

fishkiller

You never have to be hungover again. Stick around SR. Post if the urge hits. Sometimes just typing it out can make the urges go away.
Remember you Don't Want to drink.

DriGuy

We tend to do a lot of wishing we could get better early on. Eventually, we must take action or the wishing was for naught. The action phase comes next and sometimes includes stumbling. Eventually we quit, and then we start to get better. Lots of times we see others who appear to just quit, but we may not be aware of the struggle they endured before that. In my years of struggle, which just kept getting harder, there was only one actual turning point. Just one. It was the day I quit. All that other stuff I endured was just me avoiding what I had to do. Once you quit that is not the end. You have only opened a window to recovery. I found this to be the best part. Learning how to deal with problems in healthy ways is a continual reward that lasts the rest of your life.

Contact with others in recovery was a big help for me. Hence the need for focus groups and places like this forum. Just knowing recovery is available to everyone through a vast array of approaches and with different resources that fit your personal needs, is huge. Some do it on their own, and good for them. I was not able to do that. I needed help from people who understood what I was going through.

Kels1980

Thanks to everyone who’s replied, I’ve never joined anything like this before and after hearing all you’re advise I feel really positive to change my life. I’m going to log on here everyday

fishkiller

Logging on here everyday is how I have made it past 8 months sober.

AlbaSober

Judging by your username you're about 9 years younger than your dad was when he passed away at 49 from ALD. I developed ALD by that age of 36, if you're drinking heavily and regularly you're simply not giving your liver time to heal, through time it will turn fatty and then scar. It would seem to me that you're in the crossroads of life and it's vitally important you choose to bin the poison and enjoy the next 40-60 years you have ahead. Alcohol is rat ****. Absolutely horrible stuff that if it wasn't branded so nicely you wouldn't care for it. Even the process of making beer or whatever isn't remotely attractive and it destroys your insides, it destroys your skin tone, your eyes, your brain. A dreadful substance that you and everyone else is better off without.

D122y

I found that "rewarding myself" and "feeling great" were triggers.

Denying myself the booze, after a week, month, 6 months, 1 year etc etc., all created stress. The first several months were hell on earth.

It took a long long long time to see the real me through the chemicals. That is why so many never make it out.

It is tough to comprehend that after 1 year or more, the crave could be so strong and masked in a new and different form.

It is not a miracle, or a process, or working the steps, or whatever. It was hell on earth, curl up in a ball and cry. It is learning what normal is without chemicals in my brain.

Booze effects the CNS, neurotransmitters, dopamine, endorphins, natural melatonin etc. All of these these things take years to normalize.

Education, time, and suffering.

Thanks.

Gabe1980

Hi Kels....lovely to have you here x

Renegade2

Hi Kels,

We're all here for the reason and for the same purpose. Some still haven't stopped drinking, others already have, but it's a daily battle that you must start NOW. Many of us succeeded, some didn't and are trying again. The most important thing is keep trying, or else, we all know we're having a horrible demise.

I'm sorry about your dad. Tell yourself you won't go the same path. You have an option yet. Your dad at some point didn't anymore. You're still in time to quit and be healthy and live many years.

Oh, and get back in here at SR daily. It helps.