Coldfusion

Once again, at this time of day there are several meetings at the link above starting in about an hour. Why not give it a try?

GerandTwine

Hi Kels,

Since you are also asking for advice, there is a method that uses a very powerful “plan to stop” that is called Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT) by Rational Recovery. It cuts right to the heart of the problem and puts YOU back in control over IT: that unwanted desire to reward yourself again and again with that “wonderful deep pleasure”, or as you may choose to come to understand it: that self administered “assault of chemically enhanced stupidity”.

AVRT is discussed in the Secular Recovery forum here on Sober Recovery.

GT

Kels1980

Thanks I’ll have a look at that

Kels1980

It’s weird it’s not bothered me all week. But this is when I usually drink at weekends then it follows thorough to the day after until I’ve made myself ill and I tell myself I’m not doing it again. Writing this out is helping

GerandTwine

One easy technique you can use immediately is to put ALL reflections upon your drinking into the past tense.

Your post would then read:
It’s weird it’s not bothered me all week, But this is when I used to drink at weekends then I used to follow through to the day after until I had made myself ill and I used to tell myself “I’m not doing it again.” Writing this out is helping.”

This forces your Addictive Voice to realize you know what’s past is past, but what happens in the future is totally within YOUR exercise of YOUR voluntary muscles. YOU can REFUSE to act upon that habituated desire.

When putting it in the past tense, the part of you that feels odd and uncomfortable? THAT is your Beast of Booze, knowing YOU are just beginning to isolate IT out from the rest of you. It is waking up and scared.

Kels1980

Hello everyone just letting you know I’ve managed 2 weeks today

Chung

That is awesome!!! 👏! I am struggling day by day, but will never give up!

Kels1980

it’s hard isn’t it, I’ve had many days of wanting to have a drink but I feel so much better and don’t want to ruin that

Surrendered19

Hi Kels, and welcome to the site. I'm late to welcome you as I have been offline much of the last few months. 2 weeks is an amazing start. Those days you'll want a drink will come and go but you don't have to listen to that dirty little AV. I'm sober nearly a year and it has been amazing. It saved my life and now I enjoy my mornings, my long evenings, even when I wake up at night and can't sleep, I lie there and enjoy the assurance that in the morning, I might be tired, but I will feel just fine. I can think again. I was 5 years older than your father when I stopped drinking and it sounds like I don't need to tell you that the descent into cirrhosis and other awful consequences of drinking aren't fast and they are ugly. A terrible way to live and to die.

Very proud of you that you are here and make sure to work on your recovery and sobriety every single day. Guard it as you would a precious possession because it indeed is. It is a pot of gold.

fishkiller

Congrats on 2 weeks!
It gets better. And easier. When depends on the person and commitment to sobriety

Hevyn

2 weeks! Kels, that is magnificent. You're doing it - be proud.

Kels1980

Hi I’ve still not had a drink from my first post, I’m starting to want to though. My boyfriend will be having a drink this weekend as it’s his birthday I’m really worried I will drink too. Does anyone have any advice. Thanks 😊

GerandTwine

Same as before. Have you considered AVRT?

Chung

The weekend is very difficult for me to get through without drinking. My fiancé who is not an alcoholic likes to “kick” back and have a few drinks and I am more than happy to oblige and then go onto drink very heavily and then come Monday morning feeling sick and exhausted.

Every Monday morning I vow to myself I am not going to drink this weekend because I feel horrible and ashamed of myself for letting down my kids once again!

I having started attending AA meetings online via Zoom for now until I can get the courage to attend one in person. There is one available pretty much at all times in all areas of the country. I just sit and listen. I don’t turn my video or audio on for now. I am definitely going to be doing a lot of online meetings this weekend because I do NOT want to drink and want to break the cycle especially since my mind is already ruminating about drinking this weekend.

The folks on SR have sound advice and walk the walk and I want to follow them.

fishkiller

My advice is, dont drink.

Its really not that hard if you really dont want to.

Dee74

Might not be popular advice but if you're worried you might drink - consider not going.
Surely your bf would understand?

D

stonecoldcc

hi, so glad you’re here! i’m new as well and i have fears that i can’t do it either but today i found this site and it has helped a lot. hang in there 💖

tursiops999

hi Kels -- well done on your sober time so far.

As for this weekend, and whether you will drink.... For me it came down to making a decision ... did I want to be sober, or did I want to keep on drinking? It can be a hard choice to make because in the first days, I didn't really know what my sober life would be like, long term. I chose to commit myself to that without knowing how it would feel three months or six months down the road. I can tell you that with time, it felt better and better, and now there is no way I would go back to drinking. But I had to make a commitment to myself, to get enough sober time to start enjoying the benefits.

Sounds like part of you still wants to drink, but that's the addicted part of you. The rest of you wants something else ... are you going to go after that "something else"?

And as Dee suggested, you don't have to be around alcohol this weekend -- there are other choices you can make.

DriGuy

A slip here is simply a continuation of you not stopping. You have to avoid alcohol under a worst case scenario, and that's what this is. Eventually, you may be able to be around your boyfriend when he drinks without putting yourself at risk. It will be easier to say, "No," when the addiction cycle has been broken. If you can't say, "No," now, you will have to start considering some harder choices.

How hard? Well, watch an old classic movie, Days of Wine and Roses, although when it comes to hard choices, this is about as hard as it gets when there is a relationship involved. But the movie will make you think about how far you are willing to go to be sober.

OK, I don't want to this to be a downer. The bottom line is that sobriety is all about making choices, and it will be for the rest of your life. The good news is that the choices become easier with some sobriety under your belt. After 24+ years, I'm still making choices, although they are more like automatic responses at this point. But each time I don't pick up a drink, I'm making a choice, and I'm happy to now have the gift of choice, because at one time in my life, the choice to not drink seemed unachievable and filled with misery.

Don't drink with your boyfriend this weekend, and see how it goes. You are about to start finding your way. I would also ask your boyfriend if he would be willing to not drink when you are with him. This may be a touchy subject, but it would be helpful to get this issue out of the way. A general rule of thumb in recovery is to simply avoid drinking environments until you can handle not drinking in them without feeling at risk. I can handle those situations just fine now, but it's rare when I'm around drinkers. It just doesn't happen much anymore.

Anna

Stay home if you're at all concerned. It's not worth the risk. You're in early days and you could regret making the decision to go out.

Good job on your recovery