Noneever’s Accountability Thread
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 392
Noneever’s Accountability Thread
I’m starting this thread to hold myself accountable and finally drag myself out of this mess.
It’s been 2 1/2 years since I was here. At that time I received a DUI. I did what I had to do to get it over with, told one person only, half heartedly went to some AA meetings and ‘moved on’. I cut my drinking back, but didn’t stop.
Cut forward to earlier this year- another DUI. Told everyone in my family, told my GP and started taking Campral. Started seeing a psychologist. All good.
Except I kept drinking. ‘Only’ once or twice a week, not much more than a bottle of wine each time. The anxiety and depression still there. Still wasting days hungover. Still canceling shifts due to hangovers.
Had court this week. Received my sentence and felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders at having that part over with.
’Celebrated’ with a bottle of wine that night. And woke the next morning to find my full name, profession, suburb I live in and the full details of my DUI and sentence in the local paper- online and hard copy.
I feel so ashamed and humiliated. Feel like I can’t return to work without having a panic attack. This has absolutely been one of the worst experiences of my life.
So here I am. It’s very, very clear that drinking is completely off the table. I clearly should have sought a lot more support years ago. So I’m adding SR to my toolbox and will start SMART and AA meetings from Monday.
Day 3 AF.
It’s been 2 1/2 years since I was here. At that time I received a DUI. I did what I had to do to get it over with, told one person only, half heartedly went to some AA meetings and ‘moved on’. I cut my drinking back, but didn’t stop.
Cut forward to earlier this year- another DUI. Told everyone in my family, told my GP and started taking Campral. Started seeing a psychologist. All good.
Except I kept drinking. ‘Only’ once or twice a week, not much more than a bottle of wine each time. The anxiety and depression still there. Still wasting days hungover. Still canceling shifts due to hangovers.
Had court this week. Received my sentence and felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders at having that part over with.
’Celebrated’ with a bottle of wine that night. And woke the next morning to find my full name, profession, suburb I live in and the full details of my DUI and sentence in the local paper- online and hard copy.
I feel so ashamed and humiliated. Feel like I can’t return to work without having a panic attack. This has absolutely been one of the worst experiences of my life.
So here I am. It’s very, very clear that drinking is completely off the table. I clearly should have sought a lot more support years ago. So I’m adding SR to my toolbox and will start SMART and AA meetings from Monday.
Day 3 AF.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Welcome back noneever 
Support really helps and, as you know, you'll find that here.
Think about a mid to long range plan too - embarrassment and shame can fade..if you can parlay those immediate feelings into a permanent dedication to staying sober, you'll be doing well
D
Support really helps and, as you know, you'll find that here.
Think about a mid to long range plan too - embarrassment and shame can fade..if you can parlay those immediate feelings into a permanent dedication to staying sober, you'll be doing well
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Aw I really feel for you....that must be hard and I hate that the papers can print such personal details about people.
It sounds like it has been the push you needed to quit for good. I'll check in on your thread. Try and breathe your way through this bit.
It sounds like it has been the push you needed to quit for good. I'll check in on your thread. Try and breathe your way through this bit.
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