Grieving alcohol
I used to go to these giant fellowship halls in the big cities but I only sought out a handful of people to hang with. Folks with some sobriety under their belt who held jobs and who were generally the type of people I hoped to become. That's not to say that I shunned others but I basically looked for friends who had what I wanted. We'd go to coffee after the meetings; hit an occasional movie together; drive up the coast to a nice restaurant for breakfast; etc. Quality time with over-comers and joyful people.
I have heard people say that they feel like they have given up absolutely nothing by cutting out alcohol, like alcohol is 100 percent bad and the exclusion of it is nothing but positive.
This is the mind set that I want and I think I need in order to maintain a happy sobriety.... So does anyone have any tips to achieve this?
This is the mind set that I want and I think I need in order to maintain a happy sobriety.... So does anyone have any tips to achieve this?
The hard thing is realizing other people can, but we can't and never will. But realistically. Many people can do far more things that we will never do, and we don't lose sleep over it. It's kind of silly to miss out on something as useless as consuming alcohol. Think about that. We blow the need to drink all out of proper proportion. This is what addictions do to people. Once you accept this after a long period of sobriety, you will look back at this silly need and shake your head wondering why you ever thought it was important.
I used to go to these giant fellowship halls in the big cities but I only sought out a handful of people to hang with. Folks with some sobriety under their belt who held jobs and who were generally the type of people I hoped to become. That's not to say that I shunned others but I basically looked for friends who had what I wanted. We'd go to coffee after the meetings; hit an occasional movie together; drive up the coast to a nice restaurant for breakfast; etc. Quality time with over-comers and joyful people.
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Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
The way I look at giving up alcohol was that I had a set number of lifetime drinks as a "normal drinker" and I blew past that a long time ago.
As others said, its a matter of perspective. If someone walked into a bar and saw me drinking for the first couple of hours that would probably think I was a "normal drinker" having a few after a hard days work. If they came back after closing time, they would see me slamming shots with the bartenders at 4am in the morning, which is not what a normal drinker does.
I also did things and got away with stuff that a normal drinker probably has never dealt with. Way too many broken promises, missed days of work, emotional outbursts, hooking up with strangers etc. Thats out of control behavior that, quite frankly, I was lucky to get away with. I did so much more ******** than any "normal drinker" that I think its fair to accept that I "had my fun" and now its time to move on.
As others said, its a matter of perspective. If someone walked into a bar and saw me drinking for the first couple of hours that would probably think I was a "normal drinker" having a few after a hard days work. If they came back after closing time, they would see me slamming shots with the bartenders at 4am in the morning, which is not what a normal drinker does.
I also did things and got away with stuff that a normal drinker probably has never dealt with. Way too many broken promises, missed days of work, emotional outbursts, hooking up with strangers etc. Thats out of control behavior that, quite frankly, I was lucky to get away with. I did so much more ******** than any "normal drinker" that I think its fair to accept that I "had my fun" and now its time to move on.
Life is about evolving, learning, and growing. Life has stages to it. We learn what we need to in a stage, and then we move on to the next one. Like the metamorphosis of a butterfly from egg, to caterpillar, to pupa, to butterfly.
To paraphrase: I feel like I gave up absolutely nothing by cutting out diapers and moving into big boy pants and the exclusion of diapers is nothing but positive.
I have heard people say that they feel like they have given up absolutely nothing by cutting out alcohol, like alcohol is 100 percent bad and the exclusion of it is nothing but positive.
For me it was like a relationship that was too good to leave but too bad to stay. I definitely grieved during my first attempt at quitting. After that I recognised it for the evil that it was. A bad relationship that was slowly killing me and since then I've been trying hard to get away from it. I have no rose coloured glasses wrt drinking any more. It will kill me if I start again. I will drink myself to death. It's now my worst enemy and I recognised it as such.
For me it was like a relationship that was too good to leave but too bad to stay. I definitely grieved during my first attempt at quitting. After that I recognised it for the evil that it was. A bad relationship that was slowly killing me and since then I've been trying hard to get away from it. I have no rose coloured glasses wrt drinking any more. It will kill me if I start again. I will drink myself to death. It's now my worst enemy and I recognised it as such.
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