Humiliation
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 14
Humiliation
Hi there. I’m new here. I joined this morning to start my sobriety journey. I’m not sure I will survive the humiliation and embarrassment of my behavior last night that thrusted me onto this journey. I have an amazing husband and three beautiful daughters. I’ve never attempted sobriety this way before so I am really hoping this is the key for my success. I am really enjoying reading everyone’s posts. I’m hoping for the strength to win this battle.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
I know it doesn't feel like it now, but I have come to appreciate all of the mortifying things I did. The DUIs, the texts and social media posts, the fights, the lost relationships. If not for those terrible things, I never would have been forced to surrender. Some people do one or two things, or have some close calls and decide to get sober. Not me, I had to suffer immensely. I had to lose my friends, jobs, homes, relationships and my health. But the combination of all of that loss and all of that pain was the realization that I can not drink. Today I am grateful for anything and everything that got me to the place I am at.
I will say though, the memory of what you did last night will fade. And when it does, will you still have the will to stay sober? You need to have a plan that isn't just "hope for strength". Good luck and welcome.
I will say though, the memory of what you did last night will fade. And when it does, will you still have the will to stay sober? You need to have a plan that isn't just "hope for strength". Good luck and welcome.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Welcome and I'm glad you've joined us.
I think we've all had our share of humiliation and embarrassment due to alcohol. I sure can relate, and it takes awhile to recover from those cringe-worthy moments. But, you're here and you're ready to begin your journey. And, you most definitely have the strength to do this.
Sit down and make a plan that works for you, and we're here for support.
I think we've all had our share of humiliation and embarrassment due to alcohol. I sure can relate, and it takes awhile to recover from those cringe-worthy moments. But, you're here and you're ready to begin your journey. And, you most definitely have the strength to do this.
Sit down and make a plan that works for you, and we're here for support.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Welcome to SR, Kim. I finally stopped drinking 8 months ago after many failed attempts. Coming to SR has made all the difference for me. Make sure you have a plan to distract yourself and fill the void. For me, I found eating sweets and watching TV really helpful.
You can do it!
You can do it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 14
My plan is definitely different this time around. My method has always been to not drink for a couple days/ weeks until I felt like I was back in control and it sounded good again and then to practice moderation. Um NO! I have finally admitted to myself that I am an all or nothing gal and so alcohol can’t exist in my world anymore. I’m really going to focus on enjoying life with my family and do all the things I never would do because I couldn’t drink if I did. And I’m going to eat foods I wouldn’t because I didn’t want to get heavy and didn’t want to cut the booze calories. And I’m going to take a nap and not feel guilty and snuggle my girls instead of sitting on the porch all night getting wasted.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
That sounds awesome. I always watched calories when I drank too. I basically did what you just wrote when I quit. I told myself anything but alcohol for the first year so I’m pretty happy I’m able to have a show-down with the sugar demons now.
. I always watched calories when I drank too. I basically did what you just wrote when I quit. I told myself anything but alcohol for the first year so I’m pretty happy I’m able to have a show-down with the sugar demons now.Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi and welcome Kim
I had years of embarrassments - I ended up the neighbourhood bum - the guy mothers would shoo their kids away from./
If I can come back from that, you can come back from what you've been through
D
I had years of embarrassments - I ended up the neighbourhood bum - the guy mothers would shoo their kids away from./
If I can come back from that, you can come back from what you've been through
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
Welcome, Kim. I tried to moderate my drinking to no avail--I don't possess an 'off' switch where alcohol is concerned, and I have learned through painful, humiliating experience that my only sane choice is just not to drink. I am very glad you've joined us, and I hope you stick around and post whenever you need help. You can do this and have a decent, fulfilled, and dignified life with your husband and daughters. All it takes is sobriety, and not picking up that first drink. Wishing you all the best on your sober journey.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
It's so good to have you with us, Klm. SR helped me find the courage to change my life. Reading other's stories helped me to not feel alone.
I did out of character things that I sometimes still cringe over, decades later. As BeABetterMan suggested - the memory of those things can be helpful - we know we can't allow ourselves to repeat that behavior. Remember - but don't dwell - on the humiliating things that happened. I finally admitted that once alcohol was in my system there was no telling what might happen. It was scary & dangerous. I'm so glad we don't sabotage ourselves like that anymore. You can do it!
I did out of character things that I sometimes still cringe over, decades later. As BeABetterMan suggested - the memory of those things can be helpful - we know we can't allow ourselves to repeat that behavior. Remember - but don't dwell - on the humiliating things that happened. I finally admitted that once alcohol was in my system there was no telling what might happen. It was scary & dangerous. I'm so glad we don't sabotage ourselves like that anymore. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Hi Kim, welcome to the family.
You already have the strength inside you. Gut level honest posting on here will help to put you in touch with that strength.
I know that I can get honest with myself and admit things to myself...and that is as far as it goes. I know that I can get honest with a higher power (or God, or the universe, or whatever) and admit to things that I previously admitted to myself...and that is far as it goes because it was not new news that I shared. My higher power already knew. For some reason, when I get honest with other people, it seems to really bring it home to me. It becomes real and strips away any denial I might be harboring.
Also for me, humiliation (although initially it seemed to be a negative thing) turned out to be a good thing because it was the soil from which my rebirth sprang!
I’m hoping for the strength to win this battle.
I know that I can get honest with myself and admit things to myself...and that is as far as it goes. I know that I can get honest with a higher power (or God, or the universe, or whatever) and admit to things that I previously admitted to myself...and that is far as it goes because it was not new news that I shared. My higher power already knew. For some reason, when I get honest with other people, it seems to really bring it home to me. It becomes real and strips away any denial I might be harboring.
Also for me, humiliation (although initially it seemed to be a negative thing) turned out to be a good thing because it was the soil from which my rebirth sprang!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: K.C.MO
Posts: 425
I am sick & ashamed of myself, of my lack of self control, my lack of motivation, my lack of self respect. I see the way people look at me when I am drinking, unable to control myself. This is my first day again as well..... I pray daily for sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
I pray daily for sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I have had so many shameful/embarrassing, or even dangerous incidents over the years. Enough to make me want to quit drinking permanently. Unfortunately, my addiction is far stronger than any embarrassment or dangerous situation I put myself in. I don't really get embarrassed anymore because if I am drinking around the clock, I won't acknowledge it until a few weeks later when I don't even remember it because there were 3 other embarrassing incidents.
Many times I have gone from the ER or jail straight to the liquor store. I suppose because I have nothing to lose anymore. I've already lost it all.
You have a loving family, however. Quit for them, if not for yourself. You don't want to be a rock-bottom alcoholic like me!
Many times I have gone from the ER or jail straight to the liquor store. I suppose because I have nothing to lose anymore. I've already lost it all.
You have a loving family, however. Quit for them, if not for yourself. You don't want to be a rock-bottom alcoholic like me!
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