Finalcall

Thanks for the post Phil. It is easy to forget all the negatives that alcohol brings. Maybe you could share some of the positives that came from your sober time.

Phil71els

Yes of course. There are many more than I list below, just a few of the top of my head:

1. Waking up hangover and guilt free. I cannot emphasise this enough. This reward is worth it on its own.
2. Losing weight.
3. Energy to do exercise.
4. Time for my family. This again is also worth it alone.
5. Being sober to help with homework and the chores of parenting without resentments (e.g. all the driving to various activities)
6. Not having to hide drink/empties.
7. Not having to worry about which shop I can go to in my futile rotation of where I bought it in an attempt to fool the people working there into thinking I am not an alcoholic.
8. Not having to worry about the smell of alcohol being on my breath.
9. Evenings where I am not passing out at 9pm. Weekends where I actually achieve thing other than being drunk and hungover.
10. Not having to worry that my kids might realise what I am and resent me like I resented one of my parents for being an alcoholic.
11. Feeling alive!

Canadian Koala

One point you can add on your list is the thousands of dollars you'll save.
So far, I've saved over 20,000$ in a bit more than 3 years. That's a LOT of Big Macs lol

I feel you are ready to take the final and definitive step Phil71els.
It's wonderful to see you back with us.
Stay close, we're all in this with you

Phil71els

Now the morning of day 3. Feeling much better now. Anxiety has reduced down a lot now, still dont feel physically great but a lot better than the last 2 days. I know by the weekend I'll be doing much better. I will not be drinking today or any other day. I will beat it.

Steely

Great work Phil.

Canadian Koala

You can make it.

tursiops999

Glad you're back, Phil. yes, absolutely you can do this permanently once and for all. Glad you're here.

Phil71els

An unfortunate update. I failed last weekend to remain sober. The sickness got to me and I couldnt take it anymore. This week I made an appt to talk to my GP who prescribed me Librium, Thiamine and High dose B vitamins. Things go well. I've used Librium before and last time it gave me the boost to get started on the 18 months of sobriety. I feel good (although I know thats more to do with the Librium than anything else). I will be sticking close to SR. I will also be trying to get to as many online AA meetings as I can. I'm in the UK so it can be a little more difficult. I might try the global ones or ones on the East coast of the US. Any advice on someone from the UK gatecrashing US meetings? Will they get pissed or will it be ok?
I know once I get a week or so under my belt the knowledge from my last period of sobriety will help me, along with the meetings and SR. Ive learned from this that to stay sober I must MUST remain in contact with others like to to remind me of the hell that is drinking. Taking my eye off the ball leads to complacency and only results in a very bad ending.
I will also try to post more on other threads here to try to encourage other struggling folk. I learned a lot when I was sober which maybe I can try to pass along and help anyone out.

Anna

Phil, that sounds like a good plan. I'm glad you talked to your doctor and got some help.

I'm glad you're adding some things to your recovery plan.

Sober45

Sorry to hear about the relapse but glad to see you are back with a plan. Reading and posting here a lot is definitely keeping me connected with the way I felt on day 1. It will always amaze me how we can so easily forget the pain alcohol caused.

Stay close

Phil71els

Thanks I really appreciate all the support. I am not the best or most reliable poster but I do try to read everyday and will make a greater effort to engage more with the community

Coldfusion

Regarding meetings, generally if the link is publicized, everyone is welcome. We get people from all over at Zoom meetings!