Drank hand sanitizer
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Drank hand sanitizer
Why do I so this?
I'm going to go to a SMART meeting this evening. I cant seem to stop.
the sanitizer made me throw up so I didn't even get drunk.
I'm starting my journey today. I'm sick of this.
I'm going to go to a SMART meeting this evening. I cant seem to stop.
the sanitizer made me throw up so I didn't even get drunk.
I'm starting my journey today. I'm sick of this.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
ff, that's awful. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's miserable, isn't it?
I'm glad you're going to SMART and hope it helps you get your mind straight. What else do you think you can do to support your sobriety?
O
I'm glad you're going to SMART and hope it helps you get your mind straight. What else do you think you can do to support your sobriety?
O
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Hi FF. I think it is quite clear that your efforts to get sober are not working. I do not doubt your desire to get sober, but the methods you are applying are quite clearly not working. I would not be a good friend if I did not point that out to you, and urge you to take other measures to help yourself.
If you CANNOT stop drinking hand sanitizer - despite being on antabuse - then I think you need to see your Doctor urgently and see what they think. It seems to me that some sort of residential support may help break this cycle - but then I am not a doctor or an expert of any kind, so probably better you see someone who is.
I suppose at some point we all throw the towel in and say "I can't do this on my own", and at that point the right support that we need may be available (if we are lucky). If I was in your corner I would throw the towel in on your behalf but I think you need to do that yourself
If you CANNOT stop drinking hand sanitizer - despite being on antabuse - then I think you need to see your Doctor urgently and see what they think. It seems to me that some sort of residential support may help break this cycle - but then I am not a doctor or an expert of any kind, so probably better you see someone who is.
I suppose at some point we all throw the towel in and say "I can't do this on my own", and at that point the right support that we need may be available (if we are lucky). If I was in your corner I would throw the towel in on your behalf but I think you need to do that yourself
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Originally Posted by Be123 
Hi FF. I think it is quite clear that your efforts to get sober are not working. I do not doubt your desire to get sober, but the methods you are applying are quite clearly not working. I would not be a good friend if I did not point that out to you, and urge you to take other measures to help yourself.
If you CANNOT stop drinking hand sanitizer - despite being on antabuse - then I think you need to see your Doctor urgently and see what they think. It seems to me that some sort of residential support may help break this cycle - but then I am not a doctor or an expert of any kind, so probably better you see someone who is.
I suppose at some point we all throw the towel in and say "I can't do this on my own", and at that point the right support that we need may be available (if we are lucky). If I was in your corner I would throw the towel in on your behalf but I think you need to do that yourself
If you CANNOT stop drinking hand sanitizer - despite being on antabuse - then I think you need to see your Doctor urgently and see what they think. It seems to me that some sort of residential support may help break this cycle - but then I am not a doctor or an expert of any kind, so probably better you see someone who is.
I suppose at some point we all throw the towel in and say "I can't do this on my own", and at that point the right support that we need may be available (if we are lucky). If I was in your corner I would throw the towel in on your behalf but I think you need to do that yourself
I'm listening to an AA meeting now and I'm attending a SMART meeting later.
The antabuse is helping to some degree. While I have drank on it, I only had one or two drinks. I never got very drunk. I just don't think I need residential at this time.
I did get almost eight weeks of sobriety when I was attending meetings. Maybe meetings will be enough. I just can't go to residential now
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Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 134
Hey Freedom,
If you're drinking hand sanitiser, college can wait.
I tried to soldier on through my MA while hooked on marijuana and flunked dramatically.
You really need help, I hope you seek it.
Highly recommend giving 'Alcohol Explained' by William Porter a read/listen.
Good luck.
If you're drinking hand sanitiser, college can wait.
I tried to soldier on through my MA while hooked on marijuana and flunked dramatically.
You really need help, I hope you seek it.
Highly recommend giving 'Alcohol Explained' by William Porter a read/listen.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by freedomfries
I can't go to residential. I'm going back to college on Monday.
I'm listening to an AA meeting now and I'm attending a SMART meeting later.
The antabuse is helping to some degree. While I have drank on it, I only had one or two drinks. I never got very drunk. I just don't think I need residential at this time.
I did get almost eight weeks of sobriety when I was attending meetings. Maybe meetings will be enough. I just can't go to residential now
I'm listening to an AA meeting now and I'm attending a SMART meeting later.
The antabuse is helping to some degree. While I have drank on it, I only had one or two drinks. I never got very drunk. I just don't think I need residential at this time.
I did get almost eight weeks of sobriety when I was attending meetings. Maybe meetings will be enough. I just can't go to residential now
Do you honestly think college will go well if you regularly drink hand sanitizer despite being on anti-alcohol meds? Read that out loud and try to be objective. If this was your friend, or your parent, would you think 'carrying on as normal' was a good approach?
Ive said my piece, I think you should seek medical support and be honest with them about where you are at. But whatever you decide I wish you all the best, you're clearly a great intelligent guy with a great future
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I would agree with the others. I would consider even consuming normal drinking alcohol on Antabuse a very serious, out-of-control issue, let alone hand sanitizer... Do you know that the alcohol in those products is not the same and can be highly toxic on its own, even without Antabuse? Also, if you are doing this to yourself now, we could argue that your past meeting attendance didn't really work well. I would definitely do something drastically different. I can guarantee that resolving the drinking problem at such a young age would be a wonderful thing, and you would thank yourself a million times later. However, the way things seem to be going now are in the opposite direction... I am pretty sure college could wait a little.
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
freedomfries - I don't mean to be blunt, and I rarely am here on SR. But if drinking hand sanitizer isn't a qualifier for going to residential treatment, then I don't know what is.
There is no convenient or ideal time to go to treatment. When I went, it certainly disrupted some important things in my life. But MORE important than those things was my need to get sober, or else all those other things would eventually be meaningless anyway.
College isn't going anywhere. Your antabuse is not helping. Please, consider something different.
There is no convenient or ideal time to go to treatment. When I went, it certainly disrupted some important things in my life. But MORE important than those things was my need to get sober, or else all those other things would eventually be meaningless anyway.
College isn't going anywhere. Your antabuse is not helping. Please, consider something different.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
ff, I try not to tell people what to do, but I must admit that my first internal response was, "Holy hand sanitizer, this guy must get to rehab." I thought it wasn't my place to tell you what to do, and it isn't, but I feel strongly that you are playing with your life now. It's that serious.
You keep telling us what's not possible for you, but it's clear that what is not possible for you at this time is to stop drinking. That's something I would wager the vast majority of us understand - that you've truly lost the power of choice right now. It defies reason, quite literally. You obsession to drink (or to get the buzz) does not listen to nor can it understand rationality.
You can go to as many meetings as you like, but this recovery stuff isn't about immersing ourselves in some sort of cleansing tank and emerging sober. It takes your cooperation. It takes work. It takes doing things that you don't wanna do, things that are inconvenient and seem unpalatable. Going to meetings isn't going to fix you. Getting sick on antabuse isn't going to fix you. Using the SMART toolbox isn't going to fix you. Reading a book isn't going to fix you. Only you can fix you, and that takes seriously hard work, focus and commitment bigger than you can even imagine right now.
Do you want to stop drinking? Do you want to get better?
Go to inpatient rehab now, today. Make a commitment to work on whatever it is that is fueling this obsession for you.
I dropped out of school at a moment's notice once for a reason that was not life threatening. No big deal, I was able to pick up where I left off. It will be a big deal if you try to get through this semester without doing what it takes to get sober. You got eight weeks once? How likely do you think that is going to even repeat given that you've gotten to the hand sanitizer stage now? On antabuse? How rational is that? What is the picture going to look like when you get 2 weeks or 8 weeks or 12 weeks into the semester and you're drinking again? Can you risk that??
I drank for 30 years after I made the realization you have made - that you can't control your drinking on your own. I thought I could - of course I could! Who but me was putting that poison in my body?
Don't be like me. You are at the perfect place in your life, right now, to get this straightened around.
O
You keep telling us what's not possible for you, but it's clear that what is not possible for you at this time is to stop drinking. That's something I would wager the vast majority of us understand - that you've truly lost the power of choice right now. It defies reason, quite literally. You obsession to drink (or to get the buzz) does not listen to nor can it understand rationality.
You can go to as many meetings as you like, but this recovery stuff isn't about immersing ourselves in some sort of cleansing tank and emerging sober. It takes your cooperation. It takes work. It takes doing things that you don't wanna do, things that are inconvenient and seem unpalatable. Going to meetings isn't going to fix you. Getting sick on antabuse isn't going to fix you. Using the SMART toolbox isn't going to fix you. Reading a book isn't going to fix you. Only you can fix you, and that takes seriously hard work, focus and commitment bigger than you can even imagine right now.
Do you want to stop drinking? Do you want to get better?
Go to inpatient rehab now, today. Make a commitment to work on whatever it is that is fueling this obsession for you.
I dropped out of school at a moment's notice once for a reason that was not life threatening. No big deal, I was able to pick up where I left off. It will be a big deal if you try to get through this semester without doing what it takes to get sober. You got eight weeks once? How likely do you think that is going to even repeat given that you've gotten to the hand sanitizer stage now? On antabuse? How rational is that? What is the picture going to look like when you get 2 weeks or 8 weeks or 12 weeks into the semester and you're drinking again? Can you risk that??
I drank for 30 years after I made the realization you have made - that you can't control your drinking on your own. I thought I could - of course I could! Who but me was putting that poison in my body?
Don't be like me. You are at the perfect place in your life, right now, to get this straightened around.
O
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
I'd like to add that Antabuse is intended to be used as a deterrent to support total abstinence. It's not meant to be used to limit or moderate one's alcohol intake.
If you're drinking while taking it, it's not helping and is dangerous.
If you're drinking while taking it, it's not helping and is dangerous.
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Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
Ff, I have to concur with what others are saying. Hand sanitizer on Anabuse is an end stage kinda thing that meetings are not going to fix, especially with performance pressures of being a full time student.
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Join Date: Sep 2018
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Hi Freedom Fries. I am glad you are trying to get sober. I agree with the others, perhaps it would be best to put off college for a semester or so until you can get sober for good. Alcohol is going to be everywhere in college. Right now, you don't seem to be in a position to resist it. Getting some sober time before going to college would seem to be a good way to go.
Also, if you decide to drink, whatever you do don't drink hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer can cause immediate organ failure in addition to brain damage.
Also, if you decide to drink, whatever you do don't drink hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer can cause immediate organ failure in addition to brain damage.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Originally Posted by freedomfries
My parents want me to go to college. I spoke to my friend and he doesn't think I need rehab.
I have an appt with my gp on Friday. I'm going to ask him about campral. That might help with my cravings.
I have an appt with my gp on Friday. I'm going to ask him about campral. That might help with my cravings.
1) you haven't been drunk since june
2) Your parents want you to go to college
3) your friend thinks you don't need rehab
You are not convincing me. Are you convincing yourself? Just to recap - you take a drug every day to stop you drinking alcohol, but still on a regular basis you are drinking hand sanitizer and you feel you cannot stop doing that.
It doesn't matter about when you were last drunk, what your parents aspirations are or what your friends think.
Get a grip mate.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Do your parents know you are drinking on antabuse? Do they know you drank hand sanitizer this morning? What are your friend's qualifications? Campral helps with cravings, but it's in the same class for me as any other support - it helps, but it is not a passive thing. You can't just take a pill or sit in a meeting or say a prayer three times fast while standing on your head to get out of this cycle, man. My gp didn't know squat about addiction stuff. Why are you not listening to the experts who have what you want? (Lots of sobriety on this page giving you advice...)
I suspect it's because you want to keep drinking.
Even though you don't.
Which is addiction.
I suspect it's because you want to keep drinking.
Even though you don't.
Which is addiction.
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