Bent4455

Hi All. I will not bore you with all the details of my life. Since we are here I guess we can all relate in some way. 46 years old, great family and work is good. My issue is the secret life of drinking. I would say it is an everyday thing. Hiding bottles etc... I have been on these forums for years and thought I would be able to control it but that is not the case. I can sense the physical problems now. Mainly the need to take a drink a little earlier than I want to feel normal and the sense of sitting at lunch and get a sense of vertigo like I am going to fall over..but I never do.. Yet.. I guess in the past I didnt want to quit but now I am to the point that I want to. My only fears are managing life without my good friend liquor, dealing with friends when they are like Why are you not drinking, and managing the withdrawal aspects of this all. Any advice would be great. Seems like I know my pattern as well. I am good up till around 2 or 3 then Physically my mind races and I get that vertigo feeling in which my body says a drink will help. Instead of having the courage to work through it the bottle wins. I have been lucky up to this point to still have a good home life and work but time to quit the bottle and make it all better.

Cityboy

The idea of managing your drinking is a myth. You have to put it down.

In the beginning I had to face the stresses, anxieties, resentments, and fears, and sort of let go of them. As the effects of the alcohol began to wear off, I found that I could address these things.

The drinking buddy concern has been a non issue for the most part. It's more about the stress and anxiety.

Waking up without a hangover, not having to expend so much energy because of the drinking, so much better.

biminiblue

As far as what to tell people? It's really none of their business, all you have to say is, "No, thanks." There are also a lot of honest answers that don't have to reveal that you have/had a problem.


One of the best parts about sobriety for me is a quiet mind. I had such a racing brain, and none of it was good happy thoughts, it was doom and gloom. That depression, fear, constant anxiety is gone. The speedy brain is gone.

It does take a while for the body and mind to recover. The sooner you start the sooner you will find real, true peace.

LumenandNyx

Hi,

You wrote "My issue is the secret life of drinking. I would say it is an everyday thing."

I would say it's probably not much of a secret.

You also wrote "My only fears are managing life without my good friend liquor, "

I'd also say that liquor is not your good friend. Name one thing it does for you that's healthy and loving (like good friends are). All alcoholics have a love affair with alcohol. Giving it up is akin to experiencing the death of a loved one. Life goes on. It gets better. You get stronger and clearer.

One thing I can say about all addicts and alcoholics is that we're tenacious. Tenacity is related to strength and, believe it or not, you're a lot stronger than you're willing to admit or believe. There's nothing to be afraid of out here. And fearing whatever "IT" is certainly isn't going to change or stop it. So - you might as well employ a more useful emotion. Right? One that'll actually serve you...

You can get sober. Just stop drinking and don't swallow any more alcohol again. Period. Then you can get on with creating your best possible life.

Bent4455

Thanks for the great advice!!

Anna

I'm glad you posted and that you're ready to stop drinking.

You will be able to manage your life without alcohol and it's the AV which is trying to convince you otherwise. You can do this. If you're concerned about withdrawals, you might check with your doctor before stopping drinking. The first several days are tough to get through, but if you take care of yourself, you can do it. Drink lots of water, do some mild exercise, eat regular meals and rest when you need to.

And, it's good to remember that you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you are not drinking. A simple 'No, thanks' should always be enough. If you're with people who won't accept your response, then maybe you need to rethink your friends/activities.

fini

yeah, the fear of reality, sober, kept me from staying quit for a long time.
in reality, reality is alright!
the really good stuff, things like real relationships with the real good friends, only exist in the sober realm.

least

Welcome to the family. Yeah, life is a lot better sober, for sure. I didn't know how I'd manage without wine, but it turns out that I manage a whole lot better. The first week or so can be rough, getting the advice/help of your doctor can be useful and make your withdrawal easier.

Come here often to read and post. You'll find lots of support here.

Bent4455

Yesterday was actually a great day. Thanks to the help here. Sleeping not so well but the evening was productive. Off to start day 2

BEELS

Nice work Bent! You will start feeling better in a few days. Sleep gets so much better and you feel physically and mentally present in a few weeks. On day 49 here. The first few weeks I wasn’t sure what to do in the evenings....I had a similar pattern as you.

i just made a list and stuck to it when cravings came. As you build those “sober muscles” you realize how much freedom you have. I began to work out more, wake up well rested and clear headed.

a much better life.

keep going. Keep posting. Just don’t drink the first one.

thanks SR.

B

Awake61

oh please stay stopped. In my case, my drinking took me so low. Almost to death. It is so progressive. Can't believe how much clearer and alert I am now with sobriety.

Wastinglife

Bent, I have been there many times! Get a giant glass of water beside the bed ! and do nothing all day!
If you feel withdrawal symptoms, then you should see a doctor. It will start with shaky hands, sweating etc...

MaximusD

Sleep will probably be crap for a while but it is better than being in the cycle of drinking. As for telling people, I agree that is no ones business. I am mostly open with people and just tell them that I drank a lot and wanted to stop for my health. You don't have to use labels etc. I have found many people are jealous about my quitting. Even "Normies" to a certain extent. Even though they don't drink alcoholically they still don't want to give up there glass of wine at dinner.

brighterday1234

Quit before you lose that good home life and job etc. Alcoholism takes everything from a person in the end.

C0ntr0ls

"Quit before you lose that good home life and job etc. Alcoholism takes everything from a person in the end."
This was so true in my case and I don't think I'm any kind of special.

Bent4455

Thanks for the help all. Sleep the last couple nights hasn’t been that great and a little nauseous but that is a heck of a lot better than waking up feeling like **** all day.

lessgravity

As many have said, many of us have had and have the same concerns and fears about quitting. The truth is that life improves so widely and so deeply that it's hard to even explain. Friendships, social occasions, etc will work themselves out once you finally put down the booze for good. There is lots of advice here that is great so I am just saying that, from the other side of sobriety, as someone around the same age as you, it has given me a life that I didn't believe I ever deserved in my drinking days. Do the work and you will find the same is my bet. Congrats on finding SR.

Bent4455

Thanks for the tips. Looking forward to being able to say the same soon