day 1
Here and now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 334
day 1
got to 4 weeks, was having a few rough days dealing with the suicide of my brother and made the mistake of going to a friends Friday night and drank some beer. I then continued drinking saturday, and sunday and ended up in the hospital for punching a painting in a moment of frustration, cutting my hand badly. physically i feel okay today but am all over the place with disappointment and a lot of anxiety. I will go to meetings all week and will also contact the addiction center to see where i am in the que; I should have came here first and won't make that mistake again. I just need to get through the next few days and make sure i am taking steps to get help.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
My response to these types of relapses often differs from most other. While it would be better if you had never drank at all, for me, all of these demoralizing, painful, expensive, embarrassing benders kept adding up to what was a final body of work that pushed me to sobriety. What it takes each of us to make that final decision is different. It's almost like "getting out of our systems". Like an old-timer at AA said to me once after I skulked back in after more drinking, "Well, are you done yet a$$hole?". Well, are ya?
Get to a meeting TODAY. And what's stopping you from getting to two? Are you so well off and have so many awesome things going on you can't dedicate 2 hours today to recovering? I've included the online (Zoom) meetings today in Toronto. Also, what's stopping you from committing to 90 meetings in 90 days? I'm on day 46 of sobriety and I've made about 40 meetings, IT REALLY HELPS.
Good luck my friend!
https://www.aatoronto.org/meetings/?...l-query=online
Get to a meeting TODAY. And what's stopping you from getting to two? Are you so well off and have so many awesome things going on you can't dedicate 2 hours today to recovering? I've included the online (Zoom) meetings today in Toronto. Also, what's stopping you from committing to 90 meetings in 90 days? I'm on day 46 of sobriety and I've made about 40 meetings, IT REALLY HELPS.
Good luck my friend!
https://www.aatoronto.org/meetings/?...l-query=online
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,859
The loss of a sibling is a very devastating loss and one from which it is not easy to recover, Ekohe. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
I did not cope with the loss of my young sibling in a healthy fashion - that is, I used alcohol as a tool. Alcohol only, ultimately, complicated and prolonged the grieving process. For me, the sober grieving process was a more effective and timely one- I grieved the loss of my child and both parents while sober; while grief is never, ever easy, sober grief was hands-down ‘better’.
It is good to hear that you will be going to meetings and contacting an addiction center. You deserve the gift of sobriety and recovery, Ekohe, so very much.
Here for you.
I did not cope with the loss of my young sibling in a healthy fashion - that is, I used alcohol as a tool. Alcohol only, ultimately, complicated and prolonged the grieving process. For me, the sober grieving process was a more effective and timely one- I grieved the loss of my child and both parents while sober; while grief is never, ever easy, sober grief was hands-down ‘better’.
It is good to hear that you will be going to meetings and contacting an addiction center. You deserve the gift of sobriety and recovery, Ekohe, so very much.
Here for you.
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
You have my condolences for your brother. I hope when you contact the addiction center for the queue that means you're considering some inpatient help. I hoping they can offer resources for your grief and addiction simultaneously. I'm glad you are trying to get help at this trying time. Stay strong.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,536
I'm sorry for the painful time you're having, Ekohe.
There's nothing in it for us - no comfort or relief from our feelings. It turns on us & compounds our troubles. You know that - and now you're ready to regain your sobriety. We know you can.
There's nothing in it for us - no comfort or relief from our feelings. It turns on us & compounds our troubles. You know that - and now you're ready to regain your sobriety. We know you can.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: I'm sitting right here ...
Posts: 918
Originally Posted by Ekohe 
I will go to meetings all week .
I too am sorry to read about your brother. That must be/have been very hard. On a different note - I couldn't help but notice that you wrote the above comment.
What do you think going to meetings all week is going to accomplish? It certainly won't undo what you've done. You know this - right?
I'm not suggesting don't go to a meeting - I'm just wondering why you're planning to go all week and not for the next 18 months or something...
Here and now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 334
I should have worded it differently, and have decided I am going to try for 90 meetings in 90 days. Spent most of yesterday and this morning sleeping, but my heart rate is back to normal and I haven't had any shakes. I am off to the doctor to get my hand re bandaged, I really did a number on it. I will attend the first of the 90 tonight and also start exercising regulary again as that has always helped me in the past. The anxiety is awful today and I am very sad how this weekend went, it just added a layer to the grief. I will try not to dwell on it, and people at the hospital were very supportive. I will get hrough this, sobriety is the only way for me to be able to heal.
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