BeABetterMan

I went to a BBQ at a friend’s house. Of the 6 people only two of us weren’t drinking. I’m disappointed because I’m not sure if I didn’t drink because my recovery is strong or because I’m on Antabuse. The urge to drink only occurred two or three times in 7 hours though.

I did notice at the end of the night people were much more pleased with my company and really interested in what I was saying compared to when I was drinking and it seemed people couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. Overall it was a very nice day. I felt comfortable all day. The conversation was easy and not forced and I just felt good. I was offered a Ketel One vodka drink right when I walked n and was like oh ****. But it got better and better throughout the day.

Anyway, I made it and I feel good now. It would be great if this would continue. Life is much better today.

Dee74

Antabuse or recovery? does it matter?

The important thing is the outcome f think - you came out sober ...which leads me to think recovery has the lead

That was a really hard test tho man - 7 hours being around other drinkers at your point of recovery is a really tough ask.

Make it easy on yourself and pick your battles. You don;t have to say yes to every invIte or every party.

D

Zevin

Congratulations on staying strong, BABM. Does it bother you to be around friends when they are drinking?

Sober45

Success! That is a big win, BABM.

Zevin

Because drunk people get on my last nerve these days.

Be123

Ive been to quite a few social things in my sober time and I've enjoyed them more than when I used to go drunk. My AV still taunts me and tell me to drink at them but I apply logic from the real world - I simply enjoy them more sober. The food; being in control of what I say; choosing when I leave; waking up hangover free 👍

BeABetterMan

They were drinking very mildly and I didn’t notice any inebriation. So it didn’t bother me at all. It was a very successful first outing. Had it been around my old drinking friends it would have been more challenging. But like Dee said, I’m picking my battles.

Steely

Reading your post made me feel really happy BABM.

Renegade2

That's great BABM!

This is one thing I'm preparing myself to - the first major social event.
I'm on day 8 and so far it's been just home-work-home.
There are a couple of events on the horizon that will test me. I still don't know what I'm going to say when somebody hands me a glass of wine or beer. Until now, people were used to me being who would drink most at parties, so they kept serving me and cheering with me. That will be a huge change.

Robbie64

Attending the first social event while in recovery is a big test so well done BABM on not only doing that but also being there for 7 hours. I don't think I could have been there anywhere near that amount of time as there would have been too much temptation.

Mary88

That's great. Thanks for the uplifting post!

Obladi

BABM,
It was 100% YOU that made the decision not to drink.
Every time you make the binary decision Drink/Not Drink, it's YOU who is making the decision.
You picked well, so good on you. I'm really glad it was such a success for you.

You know who's disappointed? Your addicted beast. And guess what? It's a jerk and a bully and a creep to boot. Not to mention a scheming liar. It would have you believe that it wasn't really YOU that made that decision. It suggests that you should be frightened, because if you didn't have the antabuse, you might fail. BS - once you're past the physical withdrawal, addiction is all smoke and mirror and lies and manipulation. It says, "Good for you, making it through one 'test,' but that ain't nothing. Wait until the next 'test;' wonder if you'll be able to make it through that one?" (bwhahahaha)

Kick that creep to the curb and settle into being pleased that you had a good day. Then turn your attention to what it was in your life or psyche that was so very uncomfortable that the only way to escape was to drink. I hear some people around here say they stopped drinking and that was the end of the story, but I'm certainly not one of those and I suspect you're not either. I really had to get to those "causes and conditions" that kept me in the cycle of relapse (or continued drinking, whichever way you want to slice it.) I had to force myself to endure my inner turmoil without running to the bottle and then to deal with it as the caring, loving, confident, adult that I strive to be.

Lots of people take antabuse long-term. No shame in that. You and I know it does absolutely nothing for the cravings, and it's not advertised to do that. The benefit it provides is giving you serious pause before you let your addiction take over and start running the show. Still, it's YOU that's deciding not to drink. YOU could certainly decide to drink anyway (I did that a few times and it was absolutely gawd-awful). You know that. So you know that it's still YOU making the decision.

Onward and upward!
O

fini

"I’m disappointed because I’m not sure if I didn’t drink because my recovery is strong or because I’m on Antabuse. "
yeah, i can see why you'd wonder and that you might want to have a clear idea; sorry, though, that it led you to disappointment. hm.....does it feel like something on less solid ground if you think you might have drank if it weren't for the Antabuse?
i have not used Antabuse, but often wonder about the THINKING: if/when a person knows they will get very very ill if they drink, how is it different whether the very ill consequence is attributable to a reaction to a med or to just drinking as they will?
if/when i know that i "cannot" drink for whatever reason, how does the reason matter?
i have other, potentially more convoluted questions, but maybe another day?
regardless, here you are, another sober day and an outing with friends!

MaximusD

Good to hear BABM! I agree that at this point it is just good that you didn't drink whether it was the antabuse or not.

dpac414

A win is a win. Every time you come out of these things sober, you get stronger. But like Dee said and you echoed, pick your battles and go in with a solid plan.

Still really glad to hear all the good things happening for you.

fishkiller

Good work man!
Feels good don't it?

I have attended a couple events and have enjoyed myself sober also. I can eat more, food tastes better and I can actually hold a meaningful conversation.

nez

It always amazes me how pleasurable the simple things in life are, like doing a social event sober. This is not to be confused with easy, because we all know it isn't easy, although it does get easier the more we do it. Doing a social event sober (or for me at any rate, doing anything sober) is huge. Congrats on your accomplishment and progress. Like a wise man once said " Life is much better today."