pattyspaw

It has been a long time since I visited this site. I am feeling really defeated in so many ways. I feel like I have let myself, and others, down; everything is up in the air.

Sober45

I just looked back through some of your last posts. The work required to stay sober will never be as difficult as the misery caused by continuing to drink (although I'm sure you're AV may say otherwise). Do you have a plan for dealing with urge? Do you plan to fight through it with willpower alone or will you be replacing it with something? For me, I had to have a very clear plan for what I would be doing during my drinking time.

One day at a time and finding gratitude seems to be the saving grace for a lot of us.

Personally, I have 8 months sober. I no longer feel like I'm letting others down. And that is something I get to feel good about today.

Sounds to me like you're ready to do the work.

pattyspaw

I do want to get sober. I need to figure out a plan to deal with the urges. I am tired of feeling like this. I want me back.

Sober45

Keep reading and posting, Patty. Don't take your eye off the ball because it's important to stay connected with your present feelings. As you know, there's a ton of info on here. For me, I consumed a lot of sugar in the early days. I basically gave myself the green light to eat whatever I wanted. I also binge watched on youtube. Sleep as much as you can because you're body is going to need some time to heal. Also, staying hydrated is really really important...dehydration by itself can cause low mood. I see others on here find vigorous exercise helpful too. Anything but alcohol, for now.

You can certainly do this, trust in yourself

LumenandNyx

Life goes on.
Just start doing the right thing...

Is drinking the right thing? No? Then stop doing it.
And stop hoping - - - - - start doing.

boreas

Welcome back!

Rediscovering my self-respect is one of the many benefits of sustained sobriety. Whatever my failings on a particular day, I now live soberly and with more discipline and dignity than before.

I found success changing my routing. I shopped for wine daily, and did my drinking parked on the couch. To get sober, I started purchasing food for the week, ate as soon as I got home, then went out for a (long) walk. Then Idid it over and over until I had broken my pattern.

My go-to craving food was fruit, and I ate tons of it. It was always on hand, cold and chopped in the fridge. I ate well, slept on a schedule, and basically treated myself as if I was recovering from a long illness, which I was.

It’s worth it!
-bora

Dee74

Welcome back PattysPaw
Hows it going so far?

D

pattyspaw

I do really well for up to a week at a time normally; so still not sure how I will get past that.

Dee74

Have you ever made an action plan?

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

pattyspaw

not really; what's a good way to go about it?

Anna

So, this is something you can work with. You know that at about a week into sobriety things start to fail, so plan. Sit down with yourself, quietly, and come up with some ideas that you can use to get past the 7-day mark. Dig deep and come up with some ideas that will work for you and write them down. Then, most importantly, use them at the time when you are about to give in and drink.

Zevin

Welcome back, Patty.
How do you get through the first week? Whatever tools you are using to do that, you will just have to extend—— to 8 days, 9 days and beyond.
It’s not easy but it’s not so difficult that you cannot do it.

pattyspaw

the cravings are getting strong; I have a lot of stress going on and really need a plan

Erica375

Good morning, Pattyspaw! What can you do right now to distract yourself? My suggestion: eat a protein snack -- a slice of cheese, a handful of nuts, half a peanut butter sandwich. Then drink some water. Then brush your teeth. Then find something, anything, to do. Go for a walk. Organize a messy drawer. Turn on some music and dance.
Do what you need to do to get through this moment. Just don't drink.

Erica375

Good morning, Pattyspaw! What can you do right now to distract yourself? My suggestion: eat a protein snack -- a slice of cheese, a handful of nuts, half a peanut butter sandwich. Then drink some water. Then brush your teeth. Then find something, anything, to do. Go for a walk. Organize a messy drawer. Turn on some music and dance.
Do what you need to do to get through this moment. Just don't drink

Sober45

Agree with Erica, do whatever you can to distract yourself and fill the void. I always had to be drinking something to replace the hand-to-mouth part of the drinking addiction. Also, I was consuming a lot of sugar in my drinking days so I had to replace that too. I drank a lot of juice and pop. Also dark chocolate was a life saver for me (still is).

Also, you must BELIEVE that life will be better sober, because it will. Don't let the AV convince you otherwise.

Sober45

Also, I don't know what your schedule is like but idle time is a killer in the early days. I binge watched on youtube. This is not for everyone but I watched everything I could find on alcoholism. There's a show called intervention which I found really help as a deterrent.

Honestly, I did not let the AV come into my head because I was CONSTANTLY in some mode of distraction.

Please don't get overwhelmed and throw in the towel because you haven't worked out the full plan. You can do it NOW.

You can certainly do this Patty. Believe in yourself and the power of sobriety.

pattyspaw

I have plenty to keep me busy; slowing down and take a break is harder for me; I know it will be better sober; just need to find a reason today not to drink

Sober45

Play the tape forward. Our tomorrow is being created today with the actions we take. Just think about how good you'll feel tomorrow waking up sober.

Whatever you think alcohol is giving you is an illusion and things will only get worse if you continue to drink. You know that, that's why you came here.

In the subject line of this thread, you stated "I hope my last one".

When I finally quit, I was saying "this IS my last one".

I'm going on and on here but I really believe that the words we choose makes a difference.

pattyspaw

I have to log off now to take my foster kittens to their fix it appointment; I will log back in after I drop them off and check in on and off today; thank you everyone, I really need the help;