Convalescence

Day 34,

Soon to be five weeks. Today was quite stressful but I handled things responsibly and made sure to treat myself after.

I know I deserve to be loved and respected, needs which can never be met by any kind of addictive behavior.

Convalescence

Five weeks, going strong.

Dee74

That’s fantastic convalescence - congratulations !

D

Convalescence

Thanks Dee,

I feel encouraged too. Tempations still happen from time to time, but I just remember to trust God and my community/family through these forums. In doing so, I have a sense of peace even when I'm reminded of my past.

Day 36.

Convalescence

Day 37. Exited to do some fun things over the weekend. Continuing to explore this amazing city and live the best life possible.

Dee74

Sounds great- have fun convalescence

D

Convalescence

I will Dee. Thanks for continuing to care and being a positive influence in my life.

Day 38.

Convalescence

Day 39. The big 4-0 is readily approaching.

Convalescence

Day 40,

I'm super proud of myself for continuing to be responsible and keep this log. I started thinking about how constantly I'll post here - as cravings diminish I might ease back until I do weekly check-ins like I did with my previous journal. For now, it's too early for that and I'd like to have at least a few months of peace and stability before I stand back and see where I'm at. Whatever I do, I want it to be done out a genuine desire for recovery and not to disengage/mechanize the process. Will reflect on things in a future post.

Have a great week all, love you.

Convalescence

Day 41.

Dee74

Well done mate

D

Convalescence

Thanks so much Dee. It's been six weeks now.

Things are definitely more stable and peaceful. Taking time to love myself and process my new way of living while adjusting to living in a vibrant new city.

dpac414

How has it been 41 days already? Wow, that's awesome though. Good to hear you're adjusting to your new city and staying strong in your recovery. I remember thinking that you made it seem so easy when I read the old thread you had, and while I'm sure it's not always, I admire your conviction and dedication to bettering yourself.

Convalescence

Thanks dpac,

Truthfully, it wasn't easy for me to get started. Even in my old thread, I think at at one point I relapsed and stopped visiting the forums for a bit out of shame. Thankfully, I came back and started posting regularly and engaging with others. From then on, I managed to maintain consistent sobriety over time, to the point where even though I have some new issues I'm working through I feel confident and eternally free from my old life.

Last night I had some intensely triggering dreams/images, but I'm still doing well and on day 43. I guess they were reminders that I should be thankful where I'm at and keep taking this seriously. I've been telling myself I don't want anything remotely addictive in my life anymore, and taking real steps to realize that. Couldn't do it without your help and the counsel and support of other members here.

Convalescence

Day 44.

dpac414

Honestly I think we've probably all attempted sobriety and then relapsed and gave up on the forum. I joined in 2017 but didn't get actually sober until 2019. It took me those two extra years to really come to terms with my problem and start taking the steps to achieve lasting sobriety. While I don't think it's absolutely necessary to need to hit a bottom to take sobriety seriously, I do think there's something poignant about just being so tired of it all that you give up and surrender. That's what happened to me, anyway.

Thanks for sharing that, though. It's important to know that, like with any type of social media, we only see part of the picture of what others post and there's a whole lot more going on in their real lives. Glad that you're still getting on well.

Convalescence

Thanks dpac, I appreciate you sharing as well. The circumstances behind your recovery sound pretty similar to mine.

On to day 45.

Convalescence

Day 46.

Convalescence

Day 47.

Convalescence

I had a dream I relapsed last night, which was a little scary... I even remembered thinking 'day 1' as I woke from it. During my previous recovery, I had maybe 2-3 dreams of a similar nature over the course of a few years. I guess if that's a subconscious concern of mine, it's a good thing though.

After that, I managed to get a lot done during the day and am continuing to love on myself. Been feeling a bit down, so remembering to encourage and treat myself as I deal with those natural emotions is important.

Day 48.