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What do you get from the Sober Recover boards?

Old 09-02-2020, 09:18 PM
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What do you get from the Sober Recover boards?

What do you get from the boards? Do you like the support? The encouragement? The tips? The lessons? The hope and inspiration? The fellowship? What need or desire is fulfilled by visiting SR? This is purely my curiosity. Lately I have been getting most of what I need for my recovery from AA, but some people don't do AA or rehab, so how do you use SR to help your recovery?

Also, one thing I noticed, the threads where all hell is breaking loose and there is a relapse in progress get more clicks than the people celebrating milestones. I wonder why that is? I know that I'm almost 100% certain to click on the relapse threads first. I'm scared it's something inside of me that makes me want to appear better off, or maybe I'm just one of those people that likes to gawk at car crashes? Has anyone ever noticed or thought about this?
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Old 09-02-2020, 09:54 PM
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I come here every day because to get and give support, benefits me as much as others. I can't keep it unless I give it away.

I have also made some very close friends here. We may never meet in person, but if we ever did, it would be like long-lost friends meeting up again. One of my friends here ever gave me a cat! A really nice sweet loving and amusing cat.

I like the fact that altho I stay home much of the time, I'm still connected to the rest of the world via my computer.

I like the support and encouragement I find here. The members here genuinely care about each other and give freely of themselves to help others.

I feel that I 'belong' here. This feels like a family to me, a global family with a common goal.
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Old 09-02-2020, 09:57 PM
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Tremendous answer! That’s awesome least.
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Old 09-02-2020, 09:58 PM
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I like the relapse threads because I can drink vicariously through OP
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Old 09-02-2020, 10:00 PM
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I felt home as soon as I found SR - still do and very, genuinely, honoured now to be one of the staff.

I don't really notice who answers what or what kind of threads get views - I just start at the top (or sometimes the back) & try and answer as many posts as I can that day, according to my level of experience with the topic

D
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Old 09-02-2020, 10:08 PM
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I come here every day because to get and give support, benefits me as much as others. I can't keep it unless I give it away.
This sums it up for me. A wise friend once told me that in any encounter in life, don't look for what you can get out of it, instead look for what you can bring to it. By bringing, you will get.
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Old 09-02-2020, 10:10 PM
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Sobriety
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Old 09-02-2020, 11:43 PM
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There's an old saying, "Good news can wait." That's probably why the relapse threads get more attention than the 'attaboy' posts. Sure, it's good to recognize milestones but the relapse posts are urgent- a life may hang in the balance!
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Old 09-03-2020, 01:06 AM
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I like the exchange of information. I don't think there's another recovery site that has people using so many diverse methods of getting your life back and sharing the way they found their way forward around. Added to the personal experiences and knowledge of people here I think it's a unique place.
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Old 09-03-2020, 01:28 AM
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Originally Posted by MythOfSisyphus View Post
There's an old saying, "Good news can wait." That's probably why the relapse threads get more attention than the 'attaboy' posts. Sure, it's good to recognize milestones but the relapse posts are urgent- a life may hang in the balance!
Well said! I agree wholeheartedly.
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Old 09-03-2020, 02:49 AM
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the vast pool of experiences means there’s always something to learn from or is relatable. The wisdom (or madness) of the crowds
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Old 09-03-2020, 04:33 AM
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At first I came to keep myself connected with my reasons for staying sober. I’m a loner type person so I did stray away for a while after the first couple months. but when I realized my connection was moving to the back of my mind I returned. Now I feel I have to come here for all the reasons you listed! This place has totally changed changed my mindset. I’m a better person.

I’m still living in the newbie threads and I click the difficulty ones because I want to be of service. But If I’m 100% honest, I think there’s a teeny part of me that also likes the drama! That said, the first one I clicked this morning was my own thread because I wanted to see who wished me happy 8 months!
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Old 09-03-2020, 05:21 AM
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I think my main reasons and what I get out of SR are the following:

1. It's part of my workweek routine. I wake up, run, do my stuff at home, get to work, write my daily aspirations, and check in here before I start work. Making decisions like this to stay in a routine help me remind myself that i'm in control. Plus it bleeds into other parts of my life and my decision making overall gets better.
2. It helps me just have an outlet. I talk to my kids some, but don't want to burden them with thoughts and have it be a daily thing for them like it is me. Also, on this topic, my wife and I don't discuss much. I understand her view. She doesn't drink, never really has, she put up with all my b.s. and she expects me to man up and deal with it. So again, rather than continuously bombard her with my thoughts on drinking I can come here.
3. The insights I gain from other people's stories, good and bad, serve as a reinforcement. Those with good stories help provide that motivation that I'm doing the right thing and I can keep going. Those in the early days or despair of a relapse remind me of what can happen if I dont' stay vigilant. Plus it gives me an opportunity to hopefully provide a thought or sentence that might help them in some small way.
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Old 09-03-2020, 05:49 AM
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I first joined a long time ago (in 2010 I think) under a previous account. It took me a few more years to finally take getting sober seriously. All the information about everything recovery, plus seeing a great variety of experiences, were the most useful parts of SR in the first few years. I also made connections with a few interesting and inspiring people during my first sober year and all the interactions (on the boards and privately) were often good distractions from the intense and frequent cravings I had in early sobriety...even from engaging with people excessively in my real life, where it does not belong. After a while, that also became too much and a not-so-positive distraction, so I took a break. But it is always great to be around people who understand addiction from the inside out, in any recovery community.

I don't come here and engage nearly as often now, but still very much like the diversity of people, experiences, opinions and types of support. It opens my eyes up to things that don't come naturally to me, including interaction styles... I can pick things up and use them in my own life, for a richer experience. Another main reason I still use SR is that my professional life includes working on aspects of addiction, and seeing the reality of it at any time can make my work more attuned to the practicalities.

I think focusing on problems vs. things that run perfectly is just natural for people. I see that curiosity not only here but in pretty much every area of life, even with my best friends. People tend to be drawn to vulnerability, in part because it can be so challenging to be open about it ourselves... so engaging with it vicariously can be an attractive alternative. I think it also gives people a sense of satisfaction and self-esteem to be in the role of the advisor vs. the one who needs help. And, for those motivated to help - there is much more room for that with folks who struggle than those that are in a good place. I've also been told and seen directly that many people bond with others via ongoing, acute hardship... this was not so easy to wrap my mind around initially as it's not my own style and general interest much, but common regardless.

I think it is better not to focus much on who and what type of posts get the most attention vs. less of it, because it can generate a motive to seek attention via trouble and even become self-destructive for the sake of it. I've personally never felt ignored or dismissed whatever I posted, but I do like better getting noticed everywhere for my successes rather than struggles. That can also sometimes be dangerous as I don't always seek help when I really need it. But this is something I've learned to do differently in the past 10 years or so, in part based on experiencing how recovery communities like SR operate. In terms of what SR contributed to my sobriety the most, for me, again, it was probably the information about methods and the variety of experiences. Interacting with others who had the direct experiences. There is so much on here that people in more one-dimensional recovery communities don't even know about, including professionals.
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Old 09-03-2020, 06:36 AM
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I need to be reminded that I'm not alone, and that there are others who have had similar experiences with alcohol. I need to be reminded of who I am and where I come from, and what awaits me if I somehow get it in my head that drinking is a good idea (which is why I most definitely read the threads where people are struggling, and which is why I always appreciate the newcomers at AA meetings). I need to be reminded by those with more sober time than I that even if life seems tough today, it can be done without resorting to booze and that a life of sobriety is an experience like no other.
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Old 09-03-2020, 08:05 AM
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It's just part of my ritual. The relapse threads are helpful to me because it's a reminder that I don't want to go back there.
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Old 09-03-2020, 08:44 AM
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I have monthly therapy sessions with a LCSW as part of my holistic health maintenance. I've always been an introspective person so I typically don't learn anything new about myself. However I find that having an echo chamber to bounce my thoughts off of is what I find comfort in.

These boards are the same way. If I'm so inclined I'll toss a thought out there just to get it out of my system. I appreciate any feedback but I probably won't learn anything I don't already know.

Re: relapse threads. Whenever I see a relapse/struggling thread I read it just to see the mindset of the person writing it. When you do this long enough you can more or less accurately predict who will be successful in sobriety or not. A recent example is a relapse after over a year of sobriety but that's ok because it was only one day.

Reading these stories reinforces in my mind to stay away from mindsets like that.
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Old 09-03-2020, 08:55 AM
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I have always felt like this is my family and I have met and become friends with some of the best people I have ever known. I don't really look at how many responses a member gets. If I feel I might have something to offer, I try to help.

The honesty that members express here helps us all to grow. SR has been my recovery lifeline for years.
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Old 09-03-2020, 09:02 AM
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I got my life back from these boards.
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Old 09-03-2020, 09:27 AM
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I read a lot more than I post here. The encouragement that you can receive from total strangers is just something special. I see folks that have beat the demon and been sober for years and that tells me that it can be done. It's totally possible if you really want it. I want it oh so bad and am more determined than ever to one day be able to say I've been sober for years like so many others. In a strange way even though you don't know anyone personally it almost feels like you do. Like a big family here on SR willing to encourage and help each other along the way. Day 18 today and feeling better than I have in a while that's for sure. I'm enjoying my new healthy lifestyle.
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