Our last relapse
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by thomas11 
I have spent a little time reflecting on my relapse and I know full well that it was due to the lockdown etc...I live in the same city as George Floyd and the sh*tstorm that started. I genuinely care about humanity and all these factors bothered me and I wanted to escape, and I did.
Now, my entire world has changed (again) and I don't know that I have any wiggle room for a drink or drinking. The day and half per week I have off are spent recuperating. Some naps and plenty of food. Before I know it, its strapping up the steel toed boots and back to work. I don't like it, but its ok.
Now, my entire world has changed (again) and I don't know that I have any wiggle room for a drink or drinking. The day and half per week I have off are spent recuperating. Some naps and plenty of food. Before I know it, its strapping up the steel toed boots and back to work. I don't like it, but its ok.
It sounds to me as though you're making your sobriety conditional based on circumstances and events that you cannot control. You're also shifting responsibility for your sobriety by crediting it to a tight and apparently depleting schedule rather than to any kind of internal motivation or commitment. Dangerous waters.
It's up to you. It will always be up to you.
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