Hevyn

Picturebigger - Oh, do I remember those days. One of the reasons I wanted to reclaim my life was so this behavior never happened again. The fun & relaxation that drinking once gave me was long gone. In the end, it was all about maintenance - so I wouldn't shake or get nauseous. A horrible, unsustainable way to live. It was such a relief to be in control again - to be free. You sound disgusted & exhausted - and that's a good thing. You can do it.

ciowa

I used to say that I drank without thinking about it but when I got into recovery I realized this wasn't completely true. How did I find this out? Well, I was on a business trip a few months into sobriety and accidentally took a drink of a drink with alcohol in it. This was in the middle of the afternoon and I was staying in a casino so it would have been easy to keep drinking. But, my mindset at that time was to be sober and take care of business. After spitting out what I could, I thoroughly rinsed my mouth and drank a big cup of water and went about my day and the rest of the week completely sober. I realized then that it makes a big difference if you intend to be sober and are focused on that as opposed to being open to getting drunk.