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Limbo.... and whatever else!

Old 12-03-2004, 10:22 PM
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Musician
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: In The Swamp
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Limbo.... and whatever else!

Hello People,
Going on close to 14 days now. I feel better, but even though i am going to meetings and talking to people, the desire is just coming back stronger. I guess i am expecting miracles to happen immediately, no such thing. Feel like i am just going to be caught up in the same, but different misery. At least when i was drunk, i could meet chicks easier and just socialize more. Now, when i go out i seem to be more introspective and to myself, thinking about not drinking and whatever else. JUst lonely and feeling sorry for myself, i guess they call that the poor me's ? Will something come positive of this? am i just being stupid and not thinking realistically?
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Old 12-03-2004, 10:33 PM
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Swampy, congrats on staying sober for those 14 days. Keep up the good work and give it more time. Remember why you are quitting drinking.
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Old 12-03-2004, 10:35 PM
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Grateful recovering alcoholic
 
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Location: Blissfield, MI
Posts: 814
Swampy,

Welcome to early sobriety. Remember, mentally you are at the age where you were when you began drinking. Things will change. You didn't get the way you are overnight, you can't expect to be "fixed" overnight. Takes time, all good things take time. Congrats on 14 days, a milestone in and of itself. One day at a time, you can do it. Keep going to meetings, get the phone numbers - USE THEM (MEN'S!!!). Call day or night, when you're feeling squirrely, always remember to call if you feel like drinking and definitely before you decide to drink. The squirrel cage runs rampant. The miracle is happening, just not in your time. Be patient, it will come, as long as you do what you are suppose to do. Did you get a sponsor yet? Home group? Get involved, saved my butt more than once. Get to the meetings early and help set up, stay late and help clean up. Go out after the meeting with sober people. These are all some of the very best meetings. We can do it, stay strong. Don't be afraid to ask for help (you already have - wasn't too bad was it?). We're here for you and so is your group. Let them know how you feel as well. You'll be surprised at how much support you will find.

I will also add you to my prayers tonight. Don't forget, 90 meetings in 90 days; if you don't like what you've seen, we'll gladly refund your misery. It's your choice. We're pulling for ya.

Love,
Jen
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Old 12-04-2004, 02:23 AM
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Not the center of the Universe
 
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by swampy
At least when i was drunk, i could meet chicks easier and just socialize more. Now, when i go out i seem to be more introspective and to myself, thinking about not drinking and whatever else.
Swampy, congratulations on two weeks! It gets easier and it gets better but it doesn't happen all at once. Meeting women when you are sober isn't the same because you are putting more of yourself on the line. There's no alcohol to hide behind. Believe it or not, A.A. is actually good for this too. No, not meeting chicks, but getting accustomed to talking about yourself honestly and getting practice really listening to other people. If you choose to take these skills and apply them to other areas of your life, GOOD FOR YOU! That's what you are supposed to do.
Coming in from the cold
In this life, in this life, in this life
In this oh sweet life
We're coming in from the cold
We're coming in, coming in, coming in
Coming in from the cold

It's you, it's you, it's you i'm talking to
Well you, it's you, it's you
It's you i'm talking to now
Why do you look so sad and forsaken
When one door is closed
Don't you know another is open

-- Bob Marley, "Coming In From The Cold"
One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless
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Old 12-04-2004, 05:12 AM
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The Serenity Plus Plan
 
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: The Garden State
Posts: 157
Hey Swampy! Congrats on two weeks. That's fanatstic!

I know what you mean about feeling introspective and it being not as easy meeting women when sober.

My entire social life was in bars - when not at home and getting drunk. I didn't know how to meet a woman at a book store or coffee shop or where ever!

But in sobriety, it gets so much better. Your self-confidence comes back, you feel good about yourself, you feel proud about the things you do, heck, I'm even liking myself now! Go figure!

But like others have mentioned, it takes time. The effort you put into it is truly worth it. But sobriety has to be the number one focus.

One of the many reasons I like going to AA is because I'm getting used to being around other people when sober. I really didn't have any sober social skills.

Hang in there, it does get better. Just give it some time. And I know that's hard to do sometimes, but it's worth it.

Richard
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Old 12-04-2004, 05:50 AM
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Hey.. thanks for all of the wonderful advice.. i guess this is the hard part and i have to get through it..
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