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Big Life Changes After Some Sober Time

Old 08-23-2020, 12:45 PM
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Big Life Changes After Some Sober Time

After posting about 30 months, it dawned on me that I might ask here...

Wondering if anyone that's had some decent time under their belt sober - like 2 years+ ish - have done major overhauls of things like career. Especially interested if anyone has done so in their 40s. I'm seriously considering it. Sober me is realizing that so much of my life up to 2 1/2 years ago was defined by various complexes and under the influence of drugs and alcohol... now at 46 I'm realizing the path I chose may very well not be the path my soul really wants. Thing is, I have no real objective idea of what I would do difference. Also, the money I make is good. And while of course money isn't everything - I don't want to be idealistic about it. To quote A Tribe Called Quest... 'Riding on the Train with no Dough Sucks."

So yea. Wondering if anyone here gets the gist of what I'm talking about. You know- how getting sober is really just the beginning and that working down deep into root cause and such could require one to be open to any and all change.

Appreciate the thoughts in advance.

-B
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Old 08-23-2020, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Buckley3 View Post
Wondering if anyone that's had some decent time under their belt sober - like 2 years+ ish - have done major overhauls of things like career.
After 35 years of daily drinking, getting and staying sober was the major overhaul in my life. And what I have reaped from a sober life has been major, but not in ways you could list on a resume or CV.

Whatever you decide, good luck.
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Old 08-23-2020, 01:06 PM
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I began to rebuild my life after I got sober at 50; today I am 59 and my life is pretty good!
I was almost homeless when I got sober and today I am a home owner.

You can design and build the life you desire!!
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Old 08-23-2020, 02:55 PM
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I've moved house twice, started a new relationship, got my music career back and found daily service work here - so yeah I think getting sober was just the tip of the iceberg for me .

Whatever you do, best wishes with it Buckley

D
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Old 08-23-2020, 03:17 PM
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Hey Buckley - I could write an almost identical post - Iím 20 months sober, 41 and having similar thoughts.

I make reasonable money doing what I do but itís a solo effort and lonely and itís time for something new.

Yet itís a fortunate place to be as there is no immediate financial need to do just anything to keep the lights on.

Iíve written a list of things I would like to do for a living in future, even if itís just a passing thought. Iíve also cast my mind back to when I was younger and what I wanted to do then.

then Iíve researched my list. Some of them are impossible (golf caddy on the PGA tour was one when I was younger!), some would require too much training or going back to school than Iím prepared to do etc.

Iím narrowing my options and I expect to be doing something different this time next year.

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Old 08-23-2020, 03:40 PM
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Have you got a week to spare whilst I waffle on about myself?

Iím 51 and was quite active and interesting until age 35 when I started working in engineering office jobs and dying daily due to boredom combined with copious amounts of wine every night. What a slob! The engineering office, though, was ideal for an alcoholic. No real work to do, not much interaction or social skills required.

It paid the bills, but I got a life outside of work, quit the booze, got fit, joined a couple of sports clubs and rediscovered I had social skills. Without bragging, Iíd become proud of myself.

Just over a year ago, I was offered what I thought was a good job working in defence engineering. Top secret and all that. With my new sober ways, enthusiasm and bucket loads of energy, Iíd go far. Oh dear! I didnít know such boredom existed. Slow wasnít the word. I remember sitting in a five-hour meeting with 15 people. Afterwards, in my shirt and tie, I ran twice around the block. Who the hell sits in meetings for five hours? And then came a few business trips with colleagues who drank beer after beer after beer. Now I knew why these guys were so docile all day.

Iíd have slotted in perfectly as the obese drunk I was up until 2017, but Iíd quit, hit the gym, lost weight and done triathlons. I no longer belonged in an office.

About to become (for the second time) a teacher. Itíll pay less, but life is too short to sit in an office.
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Old 08-23-2020, 05:48 PM
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What's up Buck? Good to see you here.

I think I get it. For me personally I made the largest career move of my life during the first year of my sobriety (as you know I'm right here behind you, now at 28 months) and it was something I am proud of and grateful for every day.

Also I understand that deeper drive to see, explore, find more meaning with our days - to me it's the fact that I finally have my own life to do with what I want. Literally having lost my time and my days, I now have them - and what are they? What are they worth? What's the purpose? What else can I do?

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Old 08-24-2020, 04:23 AM
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You know- how getting sober is really just the beginning and that working down deep into root cause and such could require one to be open to any and all change.
Heck yeah! Iíve been cooling my jets for 3 years, going through the motions, getting DS to 18, screwing my head on right, and knowing a move is coming.

I made a career change in my early 30ís, brought about in part by changes in the field. Now the same influences are affecting my new career. And Iím ok with that...Iíve learned a lot but am at the point that I would need to invest in education to continue to progress and while I would enjoy more schooling, this isnít the field I want to ďstudyĒ.

I realize Iím in my late 40ís, and we are bombarded with media that says employers give aging workers a wide berth. However, I also train newbies to the field, and that generation has some of their own issues (just in general terms due to youth, no insult intended!). I guess what Iím saying is that I think many employers are more than willing to accept a shorter time until retirement in exchange for dependability and experience. Itís a trade off.

I see it as a cost-benefit thing. I make more now than I ever have, and would probably take a pay cut with a change. But I can live comfortably on less, and I truly enjoy when I can be excited about going to work everyday.

Good luck!
-bora

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Old 08-24-2020, 10:58 AM
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Since getting sober I've remarried, advanced in my career, and am about to have another child. Big changes (good ones!) in my life, and I attribute them to my newly sober life.

It sounds like you're contemplating a large life change which involves some risk - at the very least, you can make that decision with a clear mind, whichever route you take!
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