Big Life Changes After Some Sober Time
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Big Life Changes After Some Sober Time
After posting about 30 months, it dawned on me that I might ask here...
Wondering if anyone that's had some decent time under their belt sober - like 2 years+ ish - have done major overhauls of things like career. Especially interested if anyone has done so in their 40s. I'm seriously considering it. Sober me is realizing that so much of my life up to 2 1/2 years ago was defined by various complexes and under the influence of drugs and alcohol... now at 46 I'm realizing the path I chose may very well not be the path my soul really wants. Thing is, I have no real objective idea of what I would do difference. Also, the money I make is good. And while of course money isn't everything - I don't want to be idealistic about it. To quote A Tribe Called Quest... 'Riding on the Train with no Dough Sucks."
So yea. Wondering if anyone here gets the gist of what I'm talking about. You know- how getting sober is really just the beginning and that working down deep into root cause and such could require one to be open to any and all change.
Appreciate the thoughts in advance.
-B
Wondering if anyone that's had some decent time under their belt sober - like 2 years+ ish - have done major overhauls of things like career. Especially interested if anyone has done so in their 40s. I'm seriously considering it. Sober me is realizing that so much of my life up to 2 1/2 years ago was defined by various complexes and under the influence of drugs and alcohol... now at 46 I'm realizing the path I chose may very well not be the path my soul really wants. Thing is, I have no real objective idea of what I would do difference. Also, the money I make is good. And while of course money isn't everything - I don't want to be idealistic about it. To quote A Tribe Called Quest... 'Riding on the Train with no Dough Sucks."
So yea. Wondering if anyone here gets the gist of what I'm talking about. You know- how getting sober is really just the beginning and that working down deep into root cause and such could require one to be open to any and all change.
Appreciate the thoughts in advance.
-B
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Buckley3 
Wondering if anyone that's had some decent time under their belt sober - like 2 years+ ish - have done major overhauls of things like career.
Whatever you decide, good luck.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
I began to rebuild my life after I got sober at 50; today I am 59 and my life is pretty good!
I was almost homeless when I got sober and today I am a home owner.
You can design and build the life you desire!!
I was almost homeless when I got sober and today I am a home owner.
You can design and build the life you desire!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I've moved house twice, started a new relationship, got my music career back and found daily service work here - so yeah I think getting sober was just the tip of the iceberg for me .
Whatever you do, best wishes with it Buckley
D
Whatever you do, best wishes with it Buckley
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 67
Hey Buckley - I could write an almost identical post - I’m 20 months sober, 41 and having similar thoughts.
I make reasonable money doing what I do but it’s a solo effort and lonely and it’s time for something new.
Yet it’s a fortunate place to be as there is no immediate financial need to do just anything to keep the lights on.
I’ve written a list of things I would like to do for a living in future, even if it’s just a passing thought. I’ve also cast my mind back to when I was younger and what I wanted to do then.
then I’ve researched my list. Some of them are impossible (golf caddy on the PGA tour was one when I was younger!), some would require too much training or going back to school than I’m prepared to do etc.
I’m narrowing my options and I expect to be doing something different this time next year.
I make reasonable money doing what I do but it’s a solo effort and lonely and it’s time for something new.
Yet it’s a fortunate place to be as there is no immediate financial need to do just anything to keep the lights on.
I’ve written a list of things I would like to do for a living in future, even if it’s just a passing thought. I’ve also cast my mind back to when I was younger and what I wanted to do then.
then I’ve researched my list. Some of them are impossible (golf caddy on the PGA tour was one when I was younger!), some would require too much training or going back to school than I’m prepared to do etc.
I’m narrowing my options and I expect to be doing something different this time next year.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,924
Have you got a week to spare whilst I waffle on about myself?
I’m 51 and was quite active and interesting until age 35 when I started working in engineering office jobs and dying daily due to boredom combined with copious amounts of wine every night. What a slob! The engineering office, though, was ideal for an alcoholic. No real work to do, not much interaction or social skills required.
It paid the bills, but I got a life outside of work, quit the booze, got fit, joined a couple of sports clubs and rediscovered I had social skills. Without bragging, I’d become proud of myself.
Just over a year ago, I was offered what I thought was a good job working in defence engineering. Top secret and all that. With my new sober ways, enthusiasm and bucket loads of energy, I’d go far. Oh dear! I didn’t know such boredom existed. Slow wasn’t the word. I remember sitting in a five-hour meeting with 15 people. Afterwards, in my shirt and tie, I ran twice around the block. Who the hell sits in meetings for five hours? And then came a few business trips with colleagues who drank beer after beer after beer. Now I knew why these guys were so docile all day.
I’d have slotted in perfectly as the obese drunk I was up until 2017, but I’d quit, hit the gym, lost weight and done triathlons. I no longer belonged in an office.
About to become (for the second time) a teacher. It’ll pay less, but life is too short to sit in an office.
I’m 51 and was quite active and interesting until age 35 when I started working in engineering office jobs and dying daily due to boredom combined with copious amounts of wine every night. What a slob! The engineering office, though, was ideal for an alcoholic. No real work to do, not much interaction or social skills required.
It paid the bills, but I got a life outside of work, quit the booze, got fit, joined a couple of sports clubs and rediscovered I had social skills. Without bragging, I’d become proud of myself.
Just over a year ago, I was offered what I thought was a good job working in defence engineering. Top secret and all that. With my new sober ways, enthusiasm and bucket loads of energy, I’d go far. Oh dear! I didn’t know such boredom existed. Slow wasn’t the word. I remember sitting in a five-hour meeting with 15 people. Afterwards, in my shirt and tie, I ran twice around the block. Who the hell sits in meetings for five hours? And then came a few business trips with colleagues who drank beer after beer after beer. Now I knew why these guys were so docile all day.
I’d have slotted in perfectly as the obese drunk I was up until 2017, but I’d quit, hit the gym, lost weight and done triathlons. I no longer belonged in an office.
About to become (for the second time) a teacher. It’ll pay less, but life is too short to sit in an office.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
What's up Buck? Good to see you here.
I think I get it. For me personally I made the largest career move of my life during the first year of my sobriety (as you know I'm right here behind you, now at 28 months) and it was something I am proud of and grateful for every day.
Also I understand that deeper drive to see, explore, find more meaning with our days - to me it's the fact that I finally have my own life to do with what I want. Literally having lost my time and my days, I now have them - and what are they? What are they worth? What's the purpose? What else can I do?
I think I get it. For me personally I made the largest career move of my life during the first year of my sobriety (as you know I'm right here behind you, now at 28 months) and it was something I am proud of and grateful for every day.
Also I understand that deeper drive to see, explore, find more meaning with our days - to me it's the fact that I finally have my own life to do with what I want. Literally having lost my time and my days, I now have them - and what are they? What are they worth? What's the purpose? What else can I do?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
You know- how getting sober is really just the beginning and that working down deep into root cause and such could require one to be open to any and all change.
I made a career change in my early 30’s, brought about in part by changes in the field. Now the same influences are affecting my new career. And I’m ok with that...I’ve learned a lot but am at the point that I would need to invest in education to continue to progress and while I would enjoy more schooling, this isn’t the field I want to “study”.
I realize I’m in my late 40’s, and we are bombarded with media that says employers give aging workers a wide berth. However, I also train newbies to the field, and that generation has some of their own issues (just in general terms due to youth, no insult intended!). I guess what I’m saying is that I think many employers are more than willing to accept a shorter time until retirement in exchange for dependability and experience. It’s a trade off.
I see it as a cost-benefit thing. I make more now than I ever have, and would probably take a pay cut with a change. But I can live comfortably on less, and I truly enjoy when I can be excited about going to work everyday.
Good luck!
-bora
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
Since getting sober I've remarried, advanced in my career, and am about to have another child. Big changes (good ones!) in my life, and I attribute them to my newly sober life.
It sounds like you're contemplating a large life change which involves some risk - at the very least, you can make that decision with a clear mind, whichever route you take!
It sounds like you're contemplating a large life change which involves some risk - at the very least, you can make that decision with a clear mind, whichever route you take!
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