puzzle

Yesterday and this morning, my mind (AV) won't shut up. Some thoughts are manageable and some are not. It is NOT leading me to want a drink now but......
At first it was small, sitting in the sun with a fleeting thought of "a drink would be good about now". Easy to conquer with yes, but that will be 25 tomorrow and probably death by Tuesday. Then it's "wow, never having a drink on vacation, never done that", countered by: ok, good thing it won't happen for awhile and you'll be stronger by then. Then it's "you're last period of sobriety was 135 days. So it's only a matter of time". To which I answer, you are probably right. But I'm gonna do it anyway (I only half believe myself). Finally it comes back to "you have to go back to work next week, surely you'll get Covid and you're body is too weak to deal with it, you will die anyway". My counselor told me to accept the eventuality of death, but honestly, that's the only motivation I have to stop drinking. That doesn't help me right now.
I am beginning to practice meditation to get out of my head but all I want is for it to shut up, shut up, shut up and go away. My head is a dangerous place to be.

boreas

Physical activity is my answer to a troubled mind. It was, and is my go-to to make myself just hush already. I admire those who can meditate in stillness...that just doesn’t seem to be how I am wired.

I walked miles and miles early on. Now I run. The more troubled I am, the more I move. It restores my inner peace.

Hope you find what restores yours. It does get easier with time.
-bora

Anna

Yes, it can be relentless at times. Good for you for getting through this.

I find music helps me a lot, getting caught up in a song I love. Walking outside also helps too because there are good distractions everywhere.

BeABetterMan

I get those thoughts a lot. Last night I was sitting on the porch thinking that. It was a strong feeling. But like boreas said, physical activity really helps. I also dial into at least one online AA meeting per day which helps a ton. It does get better with time, but we have to accept that we have cravings and have a plan to deal with them. They always pass if given time and some effort.

Coldfusion

I try to go to at least one AA meeting a day. There are several starting in a few minutes (10 am Pacific time, GMT -7h) at the below site. You will need to download Zoom, which just takes a few seconds.

https://eastsideaa.org/meetings/?tsml-type=ONL

puzzle

Thanks for your responses! Yes, physical activity works for me too. I just haven’t been doing it. I will make this a priority. Music too is good, however, it can can also bring on strong emotions and memories that I am not able to dear with YET. Online A.A. - to be honest I didn’t think of that. We don’t have online here anymore and I’m not comfortable going in person to a crowd. Never thought of looking to other places/countries. I’ll try it!

Dee74

I thought a lot about drinking for a lot of years and then I spent a few weeks obsessively thinking about not drinking...but things settled down.

Some great ideas above - I also like Urge Surfing - part of the great link here:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)