Orchid1

I am finally going to see the shrink tomorrow, I have come to accept I have a mental problem and it needs to be addressed if I am to achieve permanent sobriety. I hope this works.

Dee74

I think the more things you throw at this problem the better Orchid - good on you

D

BeABetterMan

Good luck! Before you go maybe write down some questions or some topics you’d like to talk about in advance. I also bring a pen and paper to take notes.

brighterday1234

I think every alcoholic suffers with some type of mental illness. Once sober it’s possible to recover from the illness which helps one to maintain sobriety. The more help the better in my experience.

meljm222

Good for you. After 20 years of struggling on my own, I finally in the last year have asked for and been willing to accept outside help-and my life is changing, slowly but surely. I wish the same for you.

Aellyce

This may be one of the most important steps in your recovery. Denial and blame-shifting are the worst enemies there... getting external input and pointers to possible solutions can be extremely important to overcome our own blocks. So many of us believe way too long that mental problems and seeking help for them are weaknesses, but they are not. In my experience, and from seeing many other successful recoveries, often these steps are some of the most effective platforms and transitions to turn our lives around and empower the self. Whether with a shrink, peers, whatever learning resources... all are worth trying.

Best wishes!

Aellyce

Plus, for me, learning about mental health and realizing my own issues were extremely relieving, because I could understand many cause-effect relationships relevant to my addiction. When I know what I am dealing with (=know myself better), it is so much easier to find specific, more efficient, tailored solutions. It absolutely never took away from my sense of autonomy, very much the opposite!

lessgravity

That's a great step but I wanted to second the thought that if you put sobriety first, those things that are hurting and holding you back become manageable in ways that they never were before. It's not a panacea - the real work of life starts once we put the bottle down. But I could never have imagined that I could be free of the anxiety, fear, shame and self-destruction that permeated my life - yet here I am.

Do the work, but the booze down. A truly better life is waiting.

Orchid1

Thank you for your input Dee, BABM, brighterday, mel, Aellyce and lessgravity.

I found a psychologist who seems competent and was put of lexapro. I have finally taken steps to heal my damage. Really excited for this new chapter, to gain the skills I never had to deal with life. Life long sobriety actually feels possible and not daunting!! Soon there will be no need to drown my wows...I'll have tools to deal! Not that life wont be tough but I wont need to escape. I just must put in the work. I'm given. Again very excited!! Will update as I go! Any advice is welcomed😊. Good luck all!

boreas

Sounds like a wonderful outcome. It is great to see such a positive outlook.

I saw my drinking as a symptom of other problems. Continually working on those underlying issues supports my sobriety. It has made me see health as a wholistic thing, and so “I don’t drink” became an essential part of my contentment and survival.

Best wishes!
-bora

Orchid1

Thank you boreas! And your right, my drinking was because of my anxiety, my psychologist mentioned how extreme mine is that he even wondered if xanax would be good till the lexapro builds up, we decided to see how the shrinking would go first. Good thing is I haven't drank or thought about it in 3 days. Well except for now haha, but I do not wish to drink.

Sober45

Awesome progress, Orchid! Looking for forward to seeing your updates!

Dee74

welcome to SR meljm222

Feel free to start your own thread to introduce yourself - you'll get more replies that way

D

Orchid1

Well what a labyrinth of emotional damage therapy has uncovered. I can now see how crippled I was by anxiety and the cause of it and why some things trigged it and how I used alcohol to 'medicate'. To think I lived all this time with this weight chained to my foot! Now I know what is happening, what caused it and working to fix this crippling anxiety. Drinking is not a fix for me anymore. I actually went to a small party(not 100% my choice) and did not drink, without effort, and I wasn't testing myself to see if I could be around it and not drink I just rather eat a fire cooked steak. I should not have waited 10 years to get therapy. Better late than never though!

Anna

Orchid, I think we don't always understand the pain and damage we have in our lives. I know I didn't for a long time. Like you, I had a lot of inside work to do. It sounds like you're doing really well, and I hope you keep us updated.

ImNotThatGuy

Good luck at the shrink, Orchid. I wish I could see someone, but they're only doing tele-sessions around here which wouldn't be helpful for me.

lessgravity

How's it going today Orchid?

DriGuy

There's lots of things to learn about yourself and psychotherapy is like high speed journey along that path. You uncover surprises, and each helps make you better. But eventually you learn how you get to the bottom of these things on your own. Psychotherapy is like going to school to learn the process. Don't worry about figuring everything out. No one ever does, because there's always more. And if you hit a snag, you can always go back for more help. Good luck on your journey.

Orchid1

Thank you Sober45, Anna.

Imnotthatguy funny you should say that, I'm seeing both the psychiatrist and psychologist via tele health, I think for me part of what made it hard to start was going and seeing(eye contact) someone, them seeing all my flaws...over the phone feels kinda like S.R, I am more honest because I cant see their face.Plus it is much much cheaper. Eventually I will move to face to face but right now this works. I hope they open up soon in your area.

lessgravity It's going alright, I had an urge to drink last night but I back tracked the last few hours to see what made me anxious and I found it, that quelled the urge. It really has been a life saver knowing exactly what is wrong with me and that overtime it can be healed. I hope you are doing well!

Driguy thank you!

Dee74

I'm glad you stayed sober Orchid

D