Bouncing into the Weekend Sober 21-24 August Weekenders
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Portland maine
Posts: 1,330
We know where my grand daughter is now. She just refuses any help. Hopefully that will change. I recognize that I have no control over this situation. Will not drink. No desire for it at all. Good to be able to come here.
xx
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hmmmmmm I haven’t actually seen Jonathon for a couple of days Andy.
Perhaps he did indeed sneak off to go and pinch some chips
Unless that is his brother up to no good as Mags suggested, and Jonathon’s just laying low in case he gets the blame
Perhaps he did indeed sneak off to go and pinch some chips
Unless that is his brother up to no good as Mags suggested, and Jonathon’s just laying low in case he gets the blame
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Happy Birthday, Least!
Welcome to weekenders, Denny!
Forwards, I think you have a healthy outlook on relapse. It's not impossible for any of us to slide back into our addictions. But realizing what we could lose, and keeping that in mind when the urge hits, as it will, is advisable and probably necessary for many of us. I can quickly call up any number of horrible memories of things I did or how I felt while I was still drinking - that chases those drinking thoughts away almost immediately. And I look around at my life the way it is now compared to how it was, and I am simply not willing to take the risk of ever going back there. Nope. I do not drink, no matter what.
Awake, I missed the story of what is happening with your granddaughter somehow. I'm sorry she's refusing help, but glad you at least know where she is.
Welcome to weekenders, Denny!
Forwards, I think you have a healthy outlook on relapse. It's not impossible for any of us to slide back into our addictions. But realizing what we could lose, and keeping that in mind when the urge hits, as it will, is advisable and probably necessary for many of us. I can quickly call up any number of horrible memories of things I did or how I felt while I was still drinking - that chases those drinking thoughts away almost immediately. And I look around at my life the way it is now compared to how it was, and I am simply not willing to take the risk of ever going back there. Nope. I do not drink, no matter what.
Awake, I missed the story of what is happening with your granddaughter somehow. I'm sorry she's refusing help, but glad you at least know where she is.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,059
I wasn't so much of a relapser as a can't stopper. I really couldn't and I definitely didn't lack commitment. I was jumping through hoops. I went to AA, alcohol and drug service, hospital, doctor and posted here. I was drinking to block out trauma and mental health problems. To make myself numb and oblivious. Life became too scary to be present. I know, and fear, that if things go bad again I could relapse. If I lacked commitment I would be still drinking now. I dragged myself out of that dark pit. I think its a compulsion, when there is nowhere to run, and emotional pain and anxiety are just too overwhelming.
Just my thoughts.
Great pics as usual Willow. Better have a word with Jonathan, suggest he pinches 2 packets and share with you!
Great gif Andy.
We are having an extremely windy day. Stuff blowing about all over the place. For that reason I stayed out of the woods today and took to the fields for my walk.
Just my thoughts.
Great pics as usual Willow. Better have a word with Jonathan, suggest he pinches 2 packets and share with you!
Great gif Andy.
We are having an extremely windy day. Stuff blowing about all over the place. For that reason I stayed out of the woods today and took to the fields for my walk.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Good to hear that you know where your granddaughter is, Awake. Hope that she seeks help soon. Prayers.
Adorable cakes, Daiseybell.
Welcome, Denny. Good to have you with us. Stay in the game. My bet is that you will soon love sober weekends as much as we do!
Nice photos, Kailey. Hope you catch a glimpse of Jonathan soon.
Adorable cakes, Daiseybell.
Welcome, Denny. Good to have you with us. Stay in the game. My bet is that you will soon love sober weekends as much as we do!
Nice photos, Kailey. Hope you catch a glimpse of Jonathan soon.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Welcome to Weekenders Denny! You can do it.
I'm glad that at least you know your grandaughter's whereabouts Awake. Best wishes to her.
Great GiF Andy, gulls are tenacious.
Neither Gull nor Penguin but Albatross.
https://youtu.be/QooCN5JbOkU
I'm glad that at least you know your grandaughter's whereabouts Awake. Best wishes to her.
Great GiF Andy, gulls are tenacious.
Neither Gull nor Penguin but Albatross.
https://youtu.be/QooCN5JbOkU
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Not going to pass comment on relapsing after paying a lot of money for rehab truly believing I had cracked it and relapsing again at 18 months. It wasn’t a break between sobriety and drinking and a little offended this has been suggested. Wish I was one of those people that made a decision and just never drank again but I am not, doesn’t mean I am not committed just that when the **** hits the fan that I don’t always tackle it xx
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
It’s a tough one, relapse/commitment, and I can totally see how it can have different opinions depending on your own experiences, and the discussion could spark strong emotions. It definitely sparked my emotions too and as someone who hates confrontation I was going to stay out of it, but it’s an important topic with rather different points of view, so I decided to add my opinion to the mix.
I know you need commitment to live a sober life. Of course you do.
But I don’t think it’s simply a lack of commitment that distinguishes people who have relapsed from those who have not.
I personally feel that I have been fully committed to being sober and I am committed to sobriety now, despite having relapsed in the past. I definitely wasn’t just taking a break when I stopped drinking and subsequently drank again previously. I wasn’t doing it for fun or to be cool or part of a club or anything like that. If I wasn’t committed, I would have just kept right on drinking.
I really desperately wanted to be sober. I still really desperately want to be sober and stay sober and I am committed to being and staying sober. But I don’t feel it’s as easy as just saying “right, that’s it, enough is enough, I’m done with drinking.” And those that stay stopped were committed. And those that relapse, weren’t committed.
I have personally found it very very hard to get and remain sober, particularly when combined mental health issues and life circumstances have at times been so completely overwhelming, that sometimes alcohol seemed to me at the time like the only option available to me other than dying. Very dark places can be visited in mental health disorders. Places where there is no light, nothing good, no foreseeable way out and nothing worth living for. I’m no psychologist, and no expert, but I know where I’ve been in my own head, and I know that mental health disorders are not a lack of commitment. And I’m not using it as a cop out, just sharing my opinion.
It’s a pretty heavy subject though, and not something I generally talk about. I try to stay in the light and not think about dark stuff because when I dwell there, the AV ramps up in a major way.
So on that note, I am going outside into the sunshine and I’m going for a big long walk in the sun, to let the light soak into me and light up the dark places. For me, daily fresh air and sunshine is really important. It’s one of the reasons I live where I do, where there’s so many days of sunshine. I haven’t always lived here, and I have suffered from terrible depression in the past, most especially when living in less sunny places. I really believe my own mental health is intricately linked with daylight. I also believe that moving here was one of the best things I could have done to help combat both depression and alcohol, because they’re definitely linked. For me, the fresh air and sunshine chases away the darkness and subsequently removes some of the AV’s power.
ps sorry for the novel
I know you need commitment to live a sober life. Of course you do.
But I don’t think it’s simply a lack of commitment that distinguishes people who have relapsed from those who have not.
I personally feel that I have been fully committed to being sober and I am committed to sobriety now, despite having relapsed in the past. I definitely wasn’t just taking a break when I stopped drinking and subsequently drank again previously. I wasn’t doing it for fun or to be cool or part of a club or anything like that. If I wasn’t committed, I would have just kept right on drinking.
I really desperately wanted to be sober. I still really desperately want to be sober and stay sober and I am committed to being and staying sober. But I don’t feel it’s as easy as just saying “right, that’s it, enough is enough, I’m done with drinking.” And those that stay stopped were committed. And those that relapse, weren’t committed.
I have personally found it very very hard to get and remain sober, particularly when combined mental health issues and life circumstances have at times been so completely overwhelming, that sometimes alcohol seemed to me at the time like the only option available to me other than dying. Very dark places can be visited in mental health disorders. Places where there is no light, nothing good, no foreseeable way out and nothing worth living for. I’m no psychologist, and no expert, but I know where I’ve been in my own head, and I know that mental health disorders are not a lack of commitment. And I’m not using it as a cop out, just sharing my opinion.
It’s a pretty heavy subject though, and not something I generally talk about. I try to stay in the light and not think about dark stuff because when I dwell there, the AV ramps up in a major way.
So on that note, I am going outside into the sunshine and I’m going for a big long walk in the sun, to let the light soak into me and light up the dark places. For me, daily fresh air and sunshine is really important. It’s one of the reasons I live where I do, where there’s so many days of sunshine. I haven’t always lived here, and I have suffered from terrible depression in the past, most especially when living in less sunny places. I really believe my own mental health is intricately linked with daylight. I also believe that moving here was one of the best things I could have done to help combat both depression and alcohol, because they’re definitely linked. For me, the fresh air and sunshine chases away the darkness and subsequently removes some of the AV’s power.
ps sorry for the novel
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Happy Birthday Least and welcome Denny
I'm sorry if some are offended by the topic this week, the quote posted, or replies since.
I can only say that I very much identify with the topic,and the quote - but I'm not surprised at people having a vastly different experience to mine.
Many of you will know this story
I know no offence was intended - this thread really is family..
Lets keep looking for the commonalities. No matter who we are, the aim is the same
D
I'm sorry if some are offended by the topic this week, the quote posted, or replies since.
I can only say that I very much identify with the topic,and the quote - but I'm not surprised at people having a vastly different experience to mine.
Many of you will know this story
ELEPHANT AND THE BLIND MEN
Once upon a time, there lived six blind men in a village. One day the villagers told them, "Hey, there is an elephant in the village today."
They had no idea what an elephant is. They decided, "Even though we would not be able to see it, let us go and feel it anyway." All of them went where the elephant was. Everyone of them touched the elephant.
"Hey, the elephant is a pillar," said the first man who touched his leg.
"Oh, no! it is like a rope," said the second man who touched the tail.
"Oh, no! it is like a thick branch of a tree," said the third man who touched the trunk of the elephant.
"It is like a big hand fan" said the fourth man who touched the ear of the elephant.
"It is like a huge wall," said the fifth man who touched the belly of the elephant.
"It is like a solid pipe," Said the sixth man who touched the tusk of the elephant.
They began to argue about the elephant and everyone of them insisted that he was right. It looked like they were getting agitated. A wise man was passing by and he saw this. He stopped and asked them, "What is the matter?" They said, "We cannot agree to what the elephant is like." Each one of them told what he thought the elephant was like. The wise man calmly explained to them, "All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently because each one of you touched the different part of the elephant. So, actually the elephant has all those features what you all said."
"Oh!" everyone said. There was no more fight. They felt happy that they were all right.
The moral of the story is that there may be some truth to what someone says. Sometimes we can see that truth and sometimes not because they may have different perspective which we may not agree too. So, rather than arguing like the blind men, we should say, "Maybe you have your reasons." This way we don’t get in arguments. In Jainism, it is explained that truth can be stated in seven different ways. So, you can see how broad our religion is. It teaches us to be tolerant towards others for their viewpoints. This allows us to live in harmony with the people of different thinking. This is known as the Syadvada, Anekantvad, or the theory of Manifold Predictions.
ELEPHANT AND THE BLIND MEN
Once upon a time, there lived six blind men in a village. One day the villagers told them, "Hey, there is an elephant in the village today."
They had no idea what an elephant is. They decided, "Even though we would not be able to see it, let us go and feel it anyway." All of them went where the elephant was. Everyone of them touched the elephant.
"Hey, the elephant is a pillar," said the first man who touched his leg.
"Oh, no! it is like a rope," said the second man who touched the tail.
"Oh, no! it is like a thick branch of a tree," said the third man who touched the trunk of the elephant.
"It is like a big hand fan" said the fourth man who touched the ear of the elephant.
"It is like a huge wall," said the fifth man who touched the belly of the elephant.
"It is like a solid pipe," Said the sixth man who touched the tusk of the elephant.
They began to argue about the elephant and everyone of them insisted that he was right. It looked like they were getting agitated. A wise man was passing by and he saw this. He stopped and asked them, "What is the matter?" They said, "We cannot agree to what the elephant is like." Each one of them told what he thought the elephant was like. The wise man calmly explained to them, "All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently because each one of you touched the different part of the elephant. So, actually the elephant has all those features what you all said."
"Oh!" everyone said. There was no more fight. They felt happy that they were all right.
The moral of the story is that there may be some truth to what someone says. Sometimes we can see that truth and sometimes not because they may have different perspective which we may not agree too. So, rather than arguing like the blind men, we should say, "Maybe you have your reasons." This way we don’t get in arguments. In Jainism, it is explained that truth can be stated in seven different ways. So, you can see how broad our religion is. It teaches us to be tolerant towards others for their viewpoints. This allows us to live in harmony with the people of different thinking. This is known as the Syadvada, Anekantvad, or the theory of Manifold Predictions.
ELEPHANT AND THE BLIND MEN
Lets keep looking for the commonalities. No matter who we are, the aim is the same
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
Morning Weekenders!
Differing points of view and expressing them are important. They are the catalysts for change, often even more so if expressed with dearness and respect.
Having said that, happy Saturday everyone and let’s get through this one sober!
Differing points of view and expressing them are important. They are the catalysts for change, often even more so if expressed with dearness and respect.
Having said that, happy Saturday everyone and let’s get through this one sober!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
I have personally found it very very hard to get and remain sober, particularly when combined mental health issues and life circumstances have at times been so completely overwhelming, that sometimes alcohol seemed to me at the time like the only option available to me other than dying. Very dark places can be visited in mental health disorders. Places where there is no light, nothing good, no foreseeable way out and nothing worth living for. I’m no psychologist, and no expert, but I know where I’ve been in my own head, and I know that mental health disorders are not a lack of commitment. And I’m not using it as a cop out, just sharing my opinion.
I used my cerebral palsy and my depression as a reason to drink for many years - and you know it was DAMN hard for anyone to convince me they weren't valid reasons...
But they really weren;t valid because I knew I could deal with those things not drinking - I did before I turned 25...and I also knew that I always ALWAYS had other options than that one to drink.
For a long time, I didn't know what those options might be, and then for a longer time I was too scared to face the fear of change and put them into place...but I'm glad that eventually I did.
Alcohol doesn't banish the darkness, at its best, it just makes it a little more tolerable to sit there lonely in the dark.
We all deserve better than that , in my opinion
D
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