Triggered
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 622
Triggered
Hi SR,
Just wanted to write a little post as I was triggered very hard last night. I had a rehearsal for a very big performance I am doing tonight in a theater. The rehearsal went extremely well ( which can be a scary sign sometimes) but afterwards most people were staying for drinks. I left right away but it definitely triggered me. Also triggered me as I did not have any NA drinks prepared. I got that sorted though, a friend dropped off some NA drinks for me to take to theater today. Having these helped me through the last weekend party gigs so just knowing I have that all sorted has helped calm me this morning. I think the nerves of this gig plus my usual self sabotage kicked in to up this trigger. I am grateful to wake up today sober and take on this gig that I've been preparing for for the last month. Thanks for being here SR.
Just wanted to write a little post as I was triggered very hard last night. I had a rehearsal for a very big performance I am doing tonight in a theater. The rehearsal went extremely well ( which can be a scary sign sometimes) but afterwards most people were staying for drinks. I left right away but it definitely triggered me. Also triggered me as I did not have any NA drinks prepared. I got that sorted though, a friend dropped off some NA drinks for me to take to theater today. Having these helped me through the last weekend party gigs so just knowing I have that all sorted has helped calm me this morning. I think the nerves of this gig plus my usual self sabotage kicked in to up this trigger. I am grateful to wake up today sober and take on this gig that I've been preparing for for the last month. Thanks for being here SR.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
copperfield, the street party - you were prepared, mentally. This rehearsal? Did you know there would be cocktails after?
I think it's good to have an exit strategy worked out in any social situation. If I allow myself to get off-balance emotionally (which is an emotional trigger) I can become anxious and we all know what anxiety means.
For me, any big emotion where I allow myself to be disturbed or overly excited is a dangerous place.
There's a reason I said the Serenity Prayer continuously in early sobriety.
This kind of off-balance feeling goes away with continuous sobriety. Well done for posting about it.
I think it's good to have an exit strategy worked out in any social situation. If I allow myself to get off-balance emotionally (which is an emotional trigger) I can become anxious and we all know what anxiety means.
For me, any big emotion where I allow myself to be disturbed or overly excited is a dangerous place.
There's a reason I said the Serenity Prayer continuously in early sobriety.
This kind of off-balance feeling goes away with continuous sobriety. Well done for posting about it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Being prepared is the key, Copperfield and I'm glad you got through that. And, being especially alert during situations that are stressful can help you to get out of a situation before it goes badly. I hope that things begin to get easier for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 850
Hey copperfield,
It's good that you were able to recognize and acknowledge the trigger, AND that you were able to find some way to navigate it. Can you add a couple extra safety nets for yourself for these gigs? Maybe that same friend who dropped stuff off could be someone you can call if you're feeling shaky? Just a few ideas, in case the AV really kicks it up a notch.
However, you're doing great. Keep at it and it will get easier and easier to work through potential triggers and cravings.
It's good that you were able to recognize and acknowledge the trigger, AND that you were able to find some way to navigate it. Can you add a couple extra safety nets for yourself for these gigs? Maybe that same friend who dropped stuff off could be someone you can call if you're feeling shaky? Just a few ideas, in case the AV really kicks it up a notch.
However, you're doing great. Keep at it and it will get easier and easier to work through potential triggers and cravings.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: I'm sitting right here ...
Posts: 918
Does doing something - anything - that puts you in a precarious situation around alcohol give you a rise?
I ask because this is the 2nd time in less than two weeks that you've put yourself in really tempting situations where a lot of alcohol was involved. This is the 2nd time; your first time was the gig you posted about on the 8th.
None of this seems very smart and I have the feeling you know this - and that's why you post about it/them. And the attention you're getting here doesn't hurt much either, does it?
It'd be one thing if your sobriety was more sure-footed in terms of time accumulated, but you don't even have a month.
Here are a few questions to think on: What would happen if you didn't show up to these events?
Are they the last ones of their kind forever and a day on our planet?
Would you or anyone else who attends suffer some great misfortune if you didn't show up for the sake of protecting your sobriety?
What are you really deriving from putting yourself in the water with the great white?
Non of the other fish and scenery are going anywhere ...
I ask because this is the 2nd time in less than two weeks that you've put yourself in really tempting situations where a lot of alcohol was involved. This is the 2nd time; your first time was the gig you posted about on the 8th.
None of this seems very smart and I have the feeling you know this - and that's why you post about it/them. And the attention you're getting here doesn't hurt much either, does it?
It'd be one thing if your sobriety was more sure-footed in terms of time accumulated, but you don't even have a month.
Here are a few questions to think on: What would happen if you didn't show up to these events?
Are they the last ones of their kind forever and a day on our planet?
Would you or anyone else who attends suffer some great misfortune if you didn't show up for the sake of protecting your sobriety?
What are you really deriving from putting yourself in the water with the great white?
Non of the other fish and scenery are going anywhere ...
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,928
Lumen, he’s a musician so he has to rehearse and do gigs, etc. I’m as musical as a fence post, but I appreciate musicians have to practice. I’m all for changing lifestyles to quit booze, but I’d be keeping important hobbies and activities too. The fact copper prepares for the temptations is commendable.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Copperfield - I'm glad you wrote about what happened - very proud of you for acknowledging it, & resisting the temptation!
I found every time I got over one of these hurdles, I grew stronger & more resolved.
I hope tonight's gig goes great - enjoy yourself.
I found every time I got over one of these hurdles, I grew stronger & more resolved.
I hope tonight's gig goes great - enjoy yourself.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
As you know Copperfield, I spent 20 years trying to drink with the boys. I ended up unemployable as a muso cos I was frequently unable to play well, or at all. Too drunk, too many times. Word gets around.
Now, I'm proof you can be a non drinking non drugging muso
I did things slightly different though - I took some time off playing until I was sure that no person or situation could ‘make’ me drink or tempt me.
When I did return to playing it was with sober people.
Now I can play with anyone anywhere, but I’m well known as a non partier and I’m not embarrassed by that.
If playing is giving you trouble and you need the gigs financially or for other reasons, then you’re going to need a mighty plan copperfield.
Assume that every musical situation will bring you temptation andplan for it - and I don’t just mean physically with your own drinks but mentally too. Rehearse tricky situations exactly like you’d rehearse a difficult musical passage.
You’ve mentioned sodas before so I'm assuming you mean that by NA drinks. If you mean NA varieties of beer or wine I really would reconsider - for the simple reason that trying to fly under the radar like that brings you one step closer to ‘one or two real beers can’t hurt’.
Ask me how I know
Be a non drinker and be proud of it - proclaim it, and you may get to keep your recovery and your career.
D
Now, I'm proof you can be a non drinking non drugging muso
I did things slightly different though - I took some time off playing until I was sure that no person or situation could ‘make’ me drink or tempt me.
When I did return to playing it was with sober people.
Now I can play with anyone anywhere, but I’m well known as a non partier and I’m not embarrassed by that.
If playing is giving you trouble and you need the gigs financially or for other reasons, then you’re going to need a mighty plan copperfield.
Assume that every musical situation will bring you temptation andplan for it - and I don’t just mean physically with your own drinks but mentally too. Rehearse tricky situations exactly like you’d rehearse a difficult musical passage.
You’ve mentioned sodas before so I'm assuming you mean that by NA drinks. If you mean NA varieties of beer or wine I really would reconsider - for the simple reason that trying to fly under the radar like that brings you one step closer to ‘one or two real beers can’t hurt’.
Ask me how I know
Be a non drinker and be proud of it - proclaim it, and you may get to keep your recovery and your career.
D
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 622
Yes I am a musician so rehearsals aren't optional but I made it through the gig and enjoyed my NA after getting off the stage. It was great and I feel great about it. I wrote about the rehearsal as I was triggered more than I have been over these past three weeks and people say its good to talk about this stuff, which it was and it helped me as well as everyone's comments. Thank you and I am proudly waking to day 27 sober after a nailed theatre gig!
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