Back with my SR FAMILY
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
Back with my SR FAMILY
Hello my dear family,
I know it has been a little while since I logged on, but I am so grateful that no matter, SR is always here for me.
Life has gotten busy, I celebrated ONE YEAR in July and it was the hardest month so far in my sobriety. In that month, I lost an ex to an overdose, my mother had to have a biopsy for a mass, work started furloughing people and I tried my hand at a relationship and failed miserably.
After my year milestone, I sank into a deep depression and have not yet fully recovered. I am sad a lot and cry, feel a bit better and then fall again. I am struggling.
Through all of this, I realized that I needed to get back to basics and I have continued my meetings, meeting my sponsor and doing step work and relying and communicating with other women in my program. The love and support I am receiving is overwhelming.
I have not drank over any it, and I don't want to. I realized tonight after doing step work that I had the SR tab open, I have aways had it open on my computer. I logged on and instantly felt home. You guys have been my home since I first got sober, I logged on every night. I miss you all.
I know that life will continue to get better for me, for all of us. There will be ups and downs and God is only giving me what I can handle. I am handling it, and sitting in these new feelings and experiencing them in sobriety is a true blessing, even if it hurts like hell. Because I AM FEELING. I am no longer soaking in alcohol and walking through life numb and asleep. There is a price to be awakened and it is to experience the pain as well as the joy. I accept these terms with all of my heart.
Anyways, I am so glad I logged on, I feel better knowing I am with my community of like minded, fellow drunks who just want me to succeed at this thing.
We are all doing it and I am so proud of us.
Love you all and I will see you tomorrow!
Nic.
I know it has been a little while since I logged on, but I am so grateful that no matter, SR is always here for me.
Life has gotten busy, I celebrated ONE YEAR in July and it was the hardest month so far in my sobriety. In that month, I lost an ex to an overdose, my mother had to have a biopsy for a mass, work started furloughing people and I tried my hand at a relationship and failed miserably.
After my year milestone, I sank into a deep depression and have not yet fully recovered. I am sad a lot and cry, feel a bit better and then fall again. I am struggling.
Through all of this, I realized that I needed to get back to basics and I have continued my meetings, meeting my sponsor and doing step work and relying and communicating with other women in my program. The love and support I am receiving is overwhelming.
I have not drank over any it, and I don't want to. I realized tonight after doing step work that I had the SR tab open, I have aways had it open on my computer. I logged on and instantly felt home. You guys have been my home since I first got sober, I logged on every night. I miss you all.
I know that life will continue to get better for me, for all of us. There will be ups and downs and God is only giving me what I can handle. I am handling it, and sitting in these new feelings and experiencing them in sobriety is a true blessing, even if it hurts like hell. Because I AM FEELING. I am no longer soaking in alcohol and walking through life numb and asleep. There is a price to be awakened and it is to experience the pain as well as the joy. I accept these terms with all of my heart.
Anyways, I am so glad I logged on, I feel better knowing I am with my community of like minded, fellow drunks who just want me to succeed at this thing.
We are all doing it and I am so proud of us.
Love you all and I will see you tomorrow!
Nic.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Happy to have you with us again, NicLin. 
Yes, it took some getting used to - feelings & emotions without our buffer. How damaging though - we need to deal with things, not hide from them.
Proud of you for achieving a whole year sober last month. Wonderful!
Yes, it took some getting used to - feelings & emotions without our buffer. How damaging though - we need to deal with things, not hide from them.
Proud of you for achieving a whole year sober last month. Wonderful!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,504
Welcome back NicLin and a belated happy one year of sobriety. It looks like you've got a lot on your hands at the moment and you know that drinking would just add to things. Well done for getting through what seems to have been a very trying July.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 742
I lost my job at the end of my first year of sobriety.
I hate to imagine to what would have happened if i will still using. I was sweating how much longer I could survive on unemployment, severance, and draining my 401k. I turn into my drunk twin when I pick up and I know exactly what he woulda been thinking... all that money a night of crack cocaine wouldn't make much difference. Probably wake up hungover, swear never to touch crack again, few drinks, turn back into evil twin... well its still a pretty big pile of money. Yeah, I have an idea how that movie woulda played out.
The day I got canned was the strongest urge to drink in a long time. The restless, irritable, discontent that I thought was long gone came roaring back. I went through what I thought i should do in the situation. Call my sponsor, no he's probably still working. Get to a meeting, doesn't start for a while. I tried just surfing the internet but I just couldn't sit still i was rattled. So I just quietly prayed, I didn't even say anything i just sort of turned to God for comfort. I thought why do feel this way. Financial insecurity not knowing how I will pay bills. Emotional insecurity, after all these years they can do without me. I'm not good enough.
Even though unemployed i was sober. Got up early and showered every morning. Put myself on a schedule of finding a job related activities, resume, phone calls and what not. Even scheduled time to go to the beach on a quiet weekday. My life completely up in the air and there i am sober, sitting on a beach taking in the serenity.
It was a long struggle, it wasn't all a sunny day at the beach. I was unemployed for a while with many ups and down but finally landed a much better job. Wondering how id pay for the thngsi have now if I didn't get fired.
I hate to imagine to what would have happened if i will still using. I was sweating how much longer I could survive on unemployment, severance, and draining my 401k. I turn into my drunk twin when I pick up and I know exactly what he woulda been thinking... all that money a night of crack cocaine wouldn't make much difference. Probably wake up hungover, swear never to touch crack again, few drinks, turn back into evil twin... well its still a pretty big pile of money. Yeah, I have an idea how that movie woulda played out.
The day I got canned was the strongest urge to drink in a long time. The restless, irritable, discontent that I thought was long gone came roaring back. I went through what I thought i should do in the situation. Call my sponsor, no he's probably still working. Get to a meeting, doesn't start for a while. I tried just surfing the internet but I just couldn't sit still i was rattled. So I just quietly prayed, I didn't even say anything i just sort of turned to God for comfort. I thought why do feel this way. Financial insecurity not knowing how I will pay bills. Emotional insecurity, after all these years they can do without me. I'm not good enough.
Even though unemployed i was sober. Got up early and showered every morning. Put myself on a schedule of finding a job related activities, resume, phone calls and what not. Even scheduled time to go to the beach on a quiet weekday. My life completely up in the air and there i am sober, sitting on a beach taking in the serenity.
It was a long struggle, it wasn't all a sunny day at the beach. I was unemployed for a while with many ups and down but finally landed a much better job. Wondering how id pay for the thngsi have now if I didn't get fired.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Originally Posted by NicLin 
Hello my dear family,
I know it has been a little while since I logged on, but I am so grateful that no matter, SR is always here for me.
Life has gotten busy, I celebrated ONE YEAR in July and it was the hardest month so far in my sobriety. In that month, I lost an ex to an overdose, my mother had to have a biopsy for a mass, work started furloughing people and I tried my hand at a relationship and failed miserably.
After my year milestone, I sank into a deep depression and have not yet fully recovered. I am sad a lot and cry, feel a bit better and then fall again. I am struggling.
Through all of this, I realized that I needed to get back to basics and I have continued my meetings, meeting my sponsor and doing step work and relying and communicating with other women in my program. The love and support I am receiving is overwhelming.
I have not drank over any it, and I don't want to. I realized tonight after doing step work that I had the SR tab open, I have aways had it open on my computer. I logged on and instantly felt home. You guys have been my home since I first got sober, I logged on every night. I miss you all.
I know that life will continue to get better for me, for all of us. There will be ups and downs and God is only giving me what I can handle. I am handling it, and sitting in these new feelings and experiencing them in sobriety is a true blessing, even if it hurts like hell. Because I AM FEELING. I am no longer soaking in alcohol and walking through life numb and asleep. There is a price to be awakened and it is to experience the pain as well as the joy. I accept these terms with all of my heart.
Anyways, I am so glad I logged on, I feel better knowing I am with my community of like minded, fellow drunks who just want me to succeed at this thing.
We are all doing it and I am so proud of us.
Love you all and I will see you tomorrow!
Nic.
I know it has been a little while since I logged on, but I am so grateful that no matter, SR is always here for me.
Life has gotten busy, I celebrated ONE YEAR in July and it was the hardest month so far in my sobriety. In that month, I lost an ex to an overdose, my mother had to have a biopsy for a mass, work started furloughing people and I tried my hand at a relationship and failed miserably.
After my year milestone, I sank into a deep depression and have not yet fully recovered. I am sad a lot and cry, feel a bit better and then fall again. I am struggling.
Through all of this, I realized that I needed to get back to basics and I have continued my meetings, meeting my sponsor and doing step work and relying and communicating with other women in my program. The love and support I am receiving is overwhelming.
I have not drank over any it, and I don't want to. I realized tonight after doing step work that I had the SR tab open, I have aways had it open on my computer. I logged on and instantly felt home. You guys have been my home since I first got sober, I logged on every night. I miss you all.
I know that life will continue to get better for me, for all of us. There will be ups and downs and God is only giving me what I can handle. I am handling it, and sitting in these new feelings and experiencing them in sobriety is a true blessing, even if it hurts like hell. Because I AM FEELING. I am no longer soaking in alcohol and walking through life numb and asleep. There is a price to be awakened and it is to experience the pain as well as the joy. I accept these terms with all of my heart.
Anyways, I am so glad I logged on, I feel better knowing I am with my community of like minded, fellow drunks who just want me to succeed at this thing.
We are all doing it and I am so proud of us.
Love you all and I will see you tomorrow!
Nic.
The 24 Hour Recovery thread is a great place to check in each day!
Hang in there my friend!💗
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