Day 15 or 8 and my patience is about up
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2020
Posts: 1
Day 15 or 8 and my patience is about up
Im 8 days completely free of Opioids but 13 days since i started my 4th or 5th attempt. Ive lost count. Every attempt has been different physical wise and really i have no reference for what the next day is going to be. This time i broke and took 15mg of lortabs on day 5, and then restarted the clock with lesser withdrawal symptoms but none the less still in withdrawal. I dont regret the relapse because i needed that break from the miserable feeling. And without one day of being able to eat and get stuff completed like clothes ( was completely out of clean clothes) dishes, and cleaning my cats litter pans i think it would have been disastrous. Im a pretty private person so any time i have attempted to quit i made sure my husband was gone for a work trip. I like to suffer in silence and he thought i beat this like 5 years ago. No one knows the truth. I have back problems that started at 13. When it could have been corrected but was instead missed several times until it was too late. I have scoliosis of the thoracic and lumbar areas. An “S” shape which in turn i caused multiple disc bulges, early onset arthritis since my early 20s (21y/o) and degenerative disc disease. For years they had me on naproxen so much so that i have completely tore up my stomach. Eventually i moved on to pain management and pain pills. My first bout was 5mg (lortabs) per day and ended up after 3 years being more like 24 (10s) a day, some times 8 at a time. Ive always worked so i bought what i needed after i blew through my rx. I tried the suboxone route and then got terrified after reading all of the horror stories of trying to get off that so i stopped that after a month and went back to the tabs. Then i tried my first ever cold turkey withdrawal when my husband was gone on a work trip for two weeks. I ran out and my hook up couldnt get anymore. I didnt steal or try other drugs, i just accepted my fate and thought its time anyway. I went 21 days and i relapsed because i was still in physical withdrawal at 21 days. Im a pretty patient person but i couldnt do it anymore. That time i surprised my husband when he returned home on day 14 and told him what i had done. He tried understanding and helping but at the end of the day i couldnt do it anymore.
After that first go of cold turkey, i never went back to the same dosage. I was being prescribed 4 (10s) a day and kept to 2, breaking it in half and taking a half 4X a day. Then we started seeing fertility specialist and before i went in for a procedure i thought time to get clean, i wont let a child go through this misery and i did. I only had about 4 days of withdrawals and other than extreme fatigue which could have been all the hormones they pumped me up on i was okay. Then the news came and the IUI didnt take. I was destroyed. 8 years of trying to have a child and nothing. So of course i went right back because i was angry. Angry at the world. We moved shortly after that but because i was only taking half the RX i was prescribed i was able to go over a year in the new state without seeing a doc using up my scripts I had saved. Then i ran out. I was able to get into a pain specialist and get another RX. And back in 2/2020 i went 6 days clean to go for the military. They drug test you. The military had been a dream for my entire life but long story short i had been blacklisted at MEPS back where i was from due to a car accident. So at the ripe age of 34 i tried one last time in my new place. I got in. I was shocked didnt expect to make it that far. They saw the scoliosis and didnt care. But after a long day at MEPS and swearing in, on my drive home the sweats started and i started back. I thought, ill get clean well enough before its time to ship no biggie. Well here we are folks....
time to get clean.... as previously mentioned day 5 i broke and took some. Now its 8 days after that and im pissed off and angry that on day 8 or 13 whichever way you wanna look at it, im still sitting in my house sneezing with cold sweats and no appetite. I took gaba for the first week and then stopped. I have an RX for gaba just like the tabs so that wasnt a deal to get but i havent noticed it doing anything for me this time around. I hate gaba and never took it outside of trying to get clean. The withdrawal from gaba can be just as painful so it doesnt entice me to want to take in the least. So after 5/6 days i stopped taking it. My mind is clear, i have decent energy and im getting about 6 hours of ****** sleep a night and usually eating one meal a day at supper due to lack of appetite. Now im still sneezing, no motivation (obviously) and sweating. I keeping walking inside and outside to stop sweating. Its over 100 outside but 77 inside. I have to carry around a towel to wipe my back because that has always been the #1 symptom of withdrawal that drives me insane. I cant stand it. What really angers me is ill sweat all day, from waking up until the sun goes down. After a shower i can barely get dressed because im still sweating. As soon as the sun goes down... it stops. But by this time i have no energy left for the day. So when i feel okay enough to do something around the house im exhausted. I think maybe the sweating id over and tomorrow will be better.... NOPE! The next day brings the same routine. I should be running miles by now and getting ready to leave for basic, getting my house in order to leave for 8 months, instead i physically cant.
so im writing this because im about to break tbh. Im about take 5mg and clean my gross house. Im trying very hard not to, i dont want to, i dont want to start back at day 1, regardless of the severity being decreased. But now my husband is back from his trip and i can only say im sick for so many days and not explain wtf is going on. I take DL-P all day, aleve as needed, and eat when i can. But the sweats persist. What can i get without RX today to stop these sweats. I cant take it anymore. For the last 4 ish years i havent taken more than 20mg of tabs a day for most days. I was taking them at that point to stop withdrawal and for pain. I got nerves burned in my back in the last 30 days for pain. A little aleve is all that i take for now for that. Working out and strengthening my back is the best thing for me but at this point i cant do it feeling like this. Times up for me, the take your time, be patient, it will get better is running out of time. I realize this is my fault, im fully aware im a POS for not stopping back in feb. but with my job there was really no good way to withdrawal and still have a job. So it is what it is at this point.
i have been reading boards for years and never posting. Sitting now at my table with the window open because i apparently cannot control my body temp is where im at. Desperate for the sweating to stop. I dont know what to do. My husband took vaca from work to spend time with me before i ship out, so this is turning into a nightmare. As I said before i like to suffer alone and i wont tell him whats going on. He hasnt noticed i have been on them since 2012 and im not about to have that convo before i leave. A good friend of ours had a wife that died from an OD after leaving rehab shortly before we moved to where we are. i know whats going on for the most part, i used to work in toxicology. I used to do other peoples drug tests. The irony, hahaha...jokes on me. But it was never about the high after the first 7 months, and always about just not feeling like crap.
has anyone else had cold sweats this long. Like when will this stop. I want to add my husband does not have an addictive personality. He doesnt smoke, he rarely drinks. So for him its hard to understand. When he tells me he is proud of me from quitting on my own back in like 2015 i cringe because i know i went 21 days and then relapsed. He doesnt know. Its never been hard to hide because at that point i wasnt getting “high” or being crazy to where anyone would think some thing is off. It was like taking asprin for me just to not go through withdrawal. And i know my last 5 or so years of only 20mg a day is nothing compared to others, which is why im so frustrated at sweating non stop at this point. When i was coming off 24 (10s) a day i can see why at day 21 i was still in withdrawal. That was completely unassisted. I knew nothing of gaba or DLP at that time. Just suffering every single day for 21 days. The DLP definitely has kept my mind clear during the subsequent w/d and even this one, and it and gaba has in the past minimized the sweating which is for me by far the worst symptom for me. It (DLP) also keeps my energy pretty stable i assume. But this time the sweating.... after 2 days i began the sweats and im losing it.
anyway im sorry for such the long post. Im going to go stand in the shower and try to talk myself out of taking 5mg. But im mentally weak at this point. I need it to stop. Kratom is not an option. It interacts with opioid receptors and i cringe when i see people recommend that. Thats robbing peter to pay paul. I understand most of the science behind whats going on mentally, the receptors, blood brain barrier, the pathways etc. Im not an expert by any means but working in toxicology and having taking classes is pharmacology etc, along with independent research i dont want to take anything that acts upon the opioid receptors.
any suggestions for something to stop the sweating?
After that first go of cold turkey, i never went back to the same dosage. I was being prescribed 4 (10s) a day and kept to 2, breaking it in half and taking a half 4X a day. Then we started seeing fertility specialist and before i went in for a procedure i thought time to get clean, i wont let a child go through this misery and i did. I only had about 4 days of withdrawals and other than extreme fatigue which could have been all the hormones they pumped me up on i was okay. Then the news came and the IUI didnt take. I was destroyed. 8 years of trying to have a child and nothing. So of course i went right back because i was angry. Angry at the world. We moved shortly after that but because i was only taking half the RX i was prescribed i was able to go over a year in the new state without seeing a doc using up my scripts I had saved. Then i ran out. I was able to get into a pain specialist and get another RX. And back in 2/2020 i went 6 days clean to go for the military. They drug test you. The military had been a dream for my entire life but long story short i had been blacklisted at MEPS back where i was from due to a car accident. So at the ripe age of 34 i tried one last time in my new place. I got in. I was shocked didnt expect to make it that far. They saw the scoliosis and didnt care. But after a long day at MEPS and swearing in, on my drive home the sweats started and i started back. I thought, ill get clean well enough before its time to ship no biggie. Well here we are folks....
time to get clean.... as previously mentioned day 5 i broke and took some. Now its 8 days after that and im pissed off and angry that on day 8 or 13 whichever way you wanna look at it, im still sitting in my house sneezing with cold sweats and no appetite. I took gaba for the first week and then stopped. I have an RX for gaba just like the tabs so that wasnt a deal to get but i havent noticed it doing anything for me this time around. I hate gaba and never took it outside of trying to get clean. The withdrawal from gaba can be just as painful so it doesnt entice me to want to take in the least. So after 5/6 days i stopped taking it. My mind is clear, i have decent energy and im getting about 6 hours of ****** sleep a night and usually eating one meal a day at supper due to lack of appetite. Now im still sneezing, no motivation (obviously) and sweating. I keeping walking inside and outside to stop sweating. Its over 100 outside but 77 inside. I have to carry around a towel to wipe my back because that has always been the #1 symptom of withdrawal that drives me insane. I cant stand it. What really angers me is ill sweat all day, from waking up until the sun goes down. After a shower i can barely get dressed because im still sweating. As soon as the sun goes down... it stops. But by this time i have no energy left for the day. So when i feel okay enough to do something around the house im exhausted. I think maybe the sweating id over and tomorrow will be better.... NOPE! The next day brings the same routine. I should be running miles by now and getting ready to leave for basic, getting my house in order to leave for 8 months, instead i physically cant.
so im writing this because im about to break tbh. Im about take 5mg and clean my gross house. Im trying very hard not to, i dont want to, i dont want to start back at day 1, regardless of the severity being decreased. But now my husband is back from his trip and i can only say im sick for so many days and not explain wtf is going on. I take DL-P all day, aleve as needed, and eat when i can. But the sweats persist. What can i get without RX today to stop these sweats. I cant take it anymore. For the last 4 ish years i havent taken more than 20mg of tabs a day for most days. I was taking them at that point to stop withdrawal and for pain. I got nerves burned in my back in the last 30 days for pain. A little aleve is all that i take for now for that. Working out and strengthening my back is the best thing for me but at this point i cant do it feeling like this. Times up for me, the take your time, be patient, it will get better is running out of time. I realize this is my fault, im fully aware im a POS for not stopping back in feb. but with my job there was really no good way to withdrawal and still have a job. So it is what it is at this point.
i have been reading boards for years and never posting. Sitting now at my table with the window open because i apparently cannot control my body temp is where im at. Desperate for the sweating to stop. I dont know what to do. My husband took vaca from work to spend time with me before i ship out, so this is turning into a nightmare. As I said before i like to suffer alone and i wont tell him whats going on. He hasnt noticed i have been on them since 2012 and im not about to have that convo before i leave. A good friend of ours had a wife that died from an OD after leaving rehab shortly before we moved to where we are. i know whats going on for the most part, i used to work in toxicology. I used to do other peoples drug tests. The irony, hahaha...jokes on me. But it was never about the high after the first 7 months, and always about just not feeling like crap.
has anyone else had cold sweats this long. Like when will this stop. I want to add my husband does not have an addictive personality. He doesnt smoke, he rarely drinks. So for him its hard to understand. When he tells me he is proud of me from quitting on my own back in like 2015 i cringe because i know i went 21 days and then relapsed. He doesnt know. Its never been hard to hide because at that point i wasnt getting “high” or being crazy to where anyone would think some thing is off. It was like taking asprin for me just to not go through withdrawal. And i know my last 5 or so years of only 20mg a day is nothing compared to others, which is why im so frustrated at sweating non stop at this point. When i was coming off 24 (10s) a day i can see why at day 21 i was still in withdrawal. That was completely unassisted. I knew nothing of gaba or DLP at that time. Just suffering every single day for 21 days. The DLP definitely has kept my mind clear during the subsequent w/d and even this one, and it and gaba has in the past minimized the sweating which is for me by far the worst symptom for me. It (DLP) also keeps my energy pretty stable i assume. But this time the sweating.... after 2 days i began the sweats and im losing it.
anyway im sorry for such the long post. Im going to go stand in the shower and try to talk myself out of taking 5mg. But im mentally weak at this point. I need it to stop. Kratom is not an option. It interacts with opioid receptors and i cringe when i see people recommend that. Thats robbing peter to pay paul. I understand most of the science behind whats going on mentally, the receptors, blood brain barrier, the pathways etc. Im not an expert by any means but working in toxicology and having taking classes is pharmacology etc, along with independent research i dont want to take anything that acts upon the opioid receptors.
any suggestions for something to stop the sweating?
OX
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Upper Left USA
Posts: 630
I have no advice or experience with what you are feeling but I want you to know that I hear you and am so excited for you to be able to get out from under this addiction.
i hope the shower helped and brought you some relief.
no doubt someone here has experience with beating these pills and will be able to give you hope.
i hope the shower helped and brought you some relief.
no doubt someone here has experience with beating these pills and will be able to give you hope.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
I have never taken pills...but the dosaging you are doing sounds all over the place.
I am wondering if you have talked to anyone (Dr) about tapering off drugs as I know I have tapered off alcohol in the past....
Sounds like you really want off of them...but don't feel "normal" without them.
Wondering what the horrible things about Suboxone were that could be worse than taking the loratabs?
Not every thing you read about any drug happens to every person...
Most of the major side effects the pharmaceutical companies are forced to include in their data but some of the symptoms your are afraid of...maybe only happened to a small margin of people...
With drug companies if a drug is going to market...ANY symptoms even if it was only one person in a study having a symptom will be documented as it "can" happen if you take the drug.
If something bothered you about the Suboxone maybe there is another similar drug you can take that won't have the effects that you read about with Suboxone?
I am wondering if you have talked to anyone (Dr) about tapering off drugs as I know I have tapered off alcohol in the past....
Sounds like you really want off of them...but don't feel "normal" without them.
Wondering what the horrible things about Suboxone were that could be worse than taking the loratabs?
Not every thing you read about any drug happens to every person...
Most of the major side effects the pharmaceutical companies are forced to include in their data but some of the symptoms your are afraid of...maybe only happened to a small margin of people...
With drug companies if a drug is going to market...ANY symptoms even if it was only one person in a study having a symptom will be documented as it "can" happen if you take the drug.
If something bothered you about the Suboxone maybe there is another similar drug you can take that won't have the effects that you read about with Suboxone?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
I'm sorry that you're struggling so much to get through this and I hope that you stick with it. I don't have personal experience, but I suspect that if you give in and take something, it will set you back. I hope that you will see an improvement within a few days.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
