Philemon

Good to see you back. Yes, you are going to kick that Beasts arse everytime it raises it's ugly AV above the parapet . By seeing every thought that suggests drinking will solve ANYTHING as the AV and dismissing the idea instantly

Gabe1980

Thanks folks......I have that AV well in my gaze now that I feel I have my own mind back. This week is planning. Rational recovery and timetabling how I am going to lead my life week to week. I am so glad I have that fire back in my belly......I was scared it had gone for good and the apathy would have killed me.

Be123

Great to hear Gabe. Be kind to yourself, you sound like you mean business which is awesome.

Let your mind and body heal, my money is on you'll feel more and more 'you' and 'whole' every single day.

MaximusD

Hi Gabe, I have had a lot of free time lately which usually means much better chance to drink and more AV activity but I have been able to turn that around and actually having the free time has strengthen my recovery as it has given me time to do things to strengthen it. You got this I know you do. You are strong and capable!

Gabe1980

That's what I've been thinking Max. I was always really afraid of free time because it felt like pressure and just a big gap which I ended up filling with drink.....this time I am planning exercise, rest, reading and hanging out here! I feel really positive about it. Like I'm taking my power back....

Gabe1980

DAY 4...

I feel good today and ready to give this my best shot. Back to work and tired but feeling stronger and more determined. Away walking but back later!

MaximusD

Good to hear Gabe! In the grand scheme of time, when you look back with much more sobriety this little slip will be but just a blip. (And a good learning experience) keep it up!

AlbaSober

Hope you're having a good day 5 Gabe.

Gabe1980

DAY 5....

Going great! Thanks Alba. Tired, very tired but that's okay. I am only working part-time now, so plenty time to rest. The new meds seem to be kicking in too and my anxiety is a lot better. I am not worrying about everything all the time, which is a huge relief. Been walking this morning and listening to my audio book, so it's good to be back in those positive habits again.

I can't believe I drank again. I really can't. What a total idiot.......but I guess that's what happens when your AV takes over and starts steering the ship.

gypsytears

Sounds very positive Gabe. Rest when you need to. Congrats on getting back.

smilesdavis

Sorry to hear you slipped up Gabe, so have I a few times but generally doing really well.
Why do you have whatever kind of medication you took in your house though? I would have thought addicts having sleepers and benzos etc in the house is a really bad idea.

Gabe1980

Ah thanks Gypsy, its good to feel back on track again 😊

Gabe1980

Hey Smiles, I am really glad to hear you are doing well.

Oh goodness no benzos, if I had them I'd probably take the lot. I've been prescribed sertraline for anxiety. I was on citalapram but developed a tolerance and its taken a few weeks to feel like they are starting to work. I take it for anxiety and hormonal stuff too. That and lots of walking seems to be working well.

venuscat

Well I didn't know you had started a new thread. Sheesh. ❤️

Daytona1977

Hi Gabe and congrats on the 6 days!

We are currently on the same days, hope we can both keep it up and offer each other a little support and encouragement.

Best wishes and keep going 👍🏻

MaximusD

Gabe, this slip may end up being a blessing so don't get too caught up on it. Sometimes we need that last slip before we can finally get it right. I know that was what my last slip was. Slips are serious but also a part of the process for some.

Gabe1980

YAY! Hi Suze I was gonna send you a wee message but didn't want you to feel obligated. Thank you for coming on this one....I figured new start new thread but I guess it just feels like the same attempt. I suppose the important thing is I am here.

How are you doing hun? xxx

Gabe1980

Hi Daytona....definitely....it really helps to check in with folks who are at the same place or stage as you are. PM me anytime and congrats on day 6 too xx

Gabe1980

God I hope so Max though I am not feeling like my head is in the place it was when it comes to commitment....I seemed okay yesterday but today I just feel like it's all a bit pointless. Not enough time on here though and that always really makes a difference.

venuscat

Every time we change something up, we give ourselves an opportunity....a fresh start.
That's how I feel anyway.

I am healing from my ankle injury finally, and I am putting lots of new plants into the garden and then I will take pics.
Gorgeous weather here finally.

I was always told August was the hottest month in the US, definitely not in Ohio. Just perfect.

So much love honey. With you all the way. ❤️