My AA Meeting
 

There was a person at my AA meeting last night that shared he has so much rage and anger that if he drinks again, he will likely kill someone.
This is not okay. Sharing suicidal ideation is one thing; making others uncomfortable by sharing homicidal ideation is an entirely different animal.

I got up and walked out early.
The meeting is amazing other than this unfortunate occurrence. I hope it does not happen again.

That's a very scary statement to make. It sounds like this person needs psychological help to deal with his anger. Hopefully someone reached out to him and made the suggestion that he needs serious help.

A thought. At least after he shares in an AA meeting you know who he is and can avoid him. Stores that are open to the general public like WalMart and Starbucks do not have a magic filter that can keep them out of the store.

There are folks like him wandering around in our society all the time. But they just seethe with rage internally and explode unexpectedly.

Anna,

The problem with reaching out to him and suggesting psychological help is that he might have a gun in his vehicle and take offense to your suggestion.

Deleted

You say making others uncomfortable? Were there others there who felt uncomfortable? Was it discussed? Or when you say others did you mean others in the general sense and were referring to yourself?

Personally if I heard that in an AA meeting I wouldnt be uncomfortable. However there are some things that are shared that are probably best shared to a sponsor rather than a meeting as a whole.

When we put down tbe drink we are left with a full range of emotions. In my opinion it is good to share these things and get out exactly how we are feeling. After all he was sober and not drinking. You didn't say he threatened anyone at the meeting? The way you described it he was just expressing his feelings. And the truth is some people DO kill when they have been drinking.

I don't know how far you are in tbe steps but perhaps you could do inventory around why this person sharing made you feel so uncomfortable. Share with your sponsor. You could also take it up with the meetings secretary if you feel it was inappropriate

What if his anger and rage made him decide he doesn't like my face and that's reason for murdering me?
Should I reflect inward on my place in that?

I have found that people who share that kind of thing in an AA meeting are doing it to appear "scary" so that no one wants to offer help and that is pretty much what they want ... to not be helped.

I wouldn't for one second think you are sitting in a room with a genuine psycho of any kind.

Just someone too scared to actually do something about their alcoholism.

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The comment was a vague threat toward others by its very nature.
Had he said he wanted to hurt himself every time he drinks, it would be different.

As time goes by you may not react the same way to a similar share. I’ve heard many things similar to that including a confession to murder in shares. This is where people share this stuff. Too bad it bothered you but I have no problem with his share. Hopefully he doesn’t drink and hopefully he works on his anger.

I saw a the most dense population of openly fringe type persons, me included, at my aa meetings.

I was always very careful in what I said and who I looked at.

SR allows for a lot more freedom of expression because it is online.

I would freakout if someone here called me by my real name and city....or worse my street address.

Thanks.

You have no control about what people share in an AA meeting and you should not be repeating it here on SR.

Perhaps AA is not the right recovery method for you,I have heard far far worse shared in meetings.

Hey Chris

sorry that guy's share upset you.
If it upset others too, your group should probably talk about it..

Hows your own recovery going?

I get into those real life murder cases on TV. Its not that I'm into murder, I'm into facts and logic and problem solving.

Quite a bit before I ever dreamed of giving up alcohol i saw a case involving AA. Someone broke into a home in the middle of the night. Took a kitchen knife and viciously slaughtered an elderly couple in their bed. This was before the days when security cameras were all over peoples homes and businesses. No known prints, no dna, anyone with possible motive cleared. It was pretty much unsolvable and went cold.

Several years later a guy spoke in AA meeting. i think by then he several years sober. He talked about getting blackout drunk and going to his childhood home in the middle of the night and murdering people. Maybe deep rooted anger toward parents or something. Somebody put 2 and 2 together and ratted him out.

I am not one of those defend the criminals types, not at all! However, if told in that in a meeting I think my purpose is to support my fellow alcoholics. I don't even know how you deal with something that. I feel for that guy. I'm a friendly guy when I drink. I never killed anyone but wow, could I go off the rails sometimes. I would not suggest sharing this type of thing in a meeting.

In the case of the OP, its hard to form an opinion without seeing the context of the share. The exactly how the share was delivered and exactly what was said. From the way he is describing it could just be some tool.

I would be equally disturbed if he made threats against others or against himself. :( I would bring it up with whomever is in charge of the meeting. I can see why you'd be upset. I would be too.

But do you not just think sometimes people exaggerate for effect? I always say if I had to be alone in a house with my sister for 3 days I would end up killing her (and vice versa). I don't think I would really (although I think she may mean it when she says it ) :15:

Remember the yellow card 🙏

Its scary to be in an AA meeting when someone is off...especially talking "homicide"....
I'm wondering if there are other AA meetings around where you wouldn't have to worry when you attend about this one individual?

I went to AA meeting for 8 years straight...and I would say there was only about 5 times in that 8 years that someone was off...either drunk...or acting out as this person did in your meeting....

I did the same as you...I left as I have control over me and nothing else.
I would try the meeting again...if he is there and you don't feel comfortable...leave.

I think this is the equivalent of cross-talk. You made this guy's share about you.

We all know it's our secrets that keep us sick. I haven't "accessed" my rage yet, but I know it's there. I also know that I might kill someone if I ever drink again. Not likely from fighting, because I'm a pansy. But very possibly from expressing my suppressed rage by not giving a damn. Driving drunk and wishing myself dead are the most likely scenarios.

I second Dee' s question: How are you getting along?

O

Perhaps this should be moved to the AA thread,so that members of AA can give advice,not people who don’t attend AA and have no idea how it works.