Gabe1980

That's it. I need to stop now. I had five days but caved last night. What I was doing was working. It's just getting back on track now. Thanks for sticking with me. I mean it now to get sober again

Dee74

I believe you have the desire to be sober Gabe

At its simplest, staying in recovery is making sure you have a plan to put into action the next time you want to drink, and doing something else other than drinking instead

D

Gabe1980

I really do want to be sober and I have starting to make changes. I feel like I just got lost and I'm trying to find my way back. I know I can do it, I'e done it before. I didn't expect it to be this hard again tbh

Gabe1980

Thanks Dee, you are the consistent here in a life full of chaos

Dee74

Well this constant needs his bed
I know you have a lot of support here tho Gabe - use it - you can do this

D

Lixie

What happened, Gabe? Do you want to talk about it?

Gabe1980

I just feel like such a terrible person. I know it willpass

Misssy2

From what I have read from your recent struggles ...you are not a terrible person at all.'

I hate that alcohol makes us think of ourselves as some terrible person.....I know that I feel that way when i come off of my binges...and I know logically I am not a terrible person.

You have a terrible problem....

Gabe1980

Thanks Missy! I appreciate it xx

Obladi

It is incredibly hard, isn't it?
You can do this, though. I know you can.

Have you stopped now?

O

Boggle10

Don't beat yourself up, it's a new day, at least your hear, all the best, I'm only on day 5 x

prettiekittie

My relapses tend to cluster like that. You’re not terrible. You can do this. ((Hugs))

D122y

I relate to the crave being too strong.

It was impossible for me to quit until I had hellish brain issues for years.

When my feet started to swell and I wasn't able to function without being drunk, I knew it was getting close to a stroke or some organ failure.

I was sort of lucky I didn't find SR 10 years ago, I might have ended up posting about relapse after relapse.

I have moderate ptsd from my early days that still scares me straight. If that ever goes away, I could be in more danger of a relapse.

Thanks.

PinnacleOR

I find speaking to myself as a good friend would, rather than my own negativity, helps me a lot. What would a trusted friend say? Maybe get up, I have faith in you, this is an insidious disease but you can do it

Im not religious, but I have come to believe I need a power greater than myself to stay sober. If doing what you’ve been doing isn’t working, what new tool can you add? Mine includes:

A sponsor
A daily meditation practice
A practice acknowledging three things I’m grateful for every day
Good nutrition
A walk every day
medication for cravings (naltrexone) and anxiety/depression
A morning prayer asking for connection to a higher power to guide me and keep me out of self will

RecklessDrunk

I'm decades past smashing the delusion that I can drink like a normal person. I drank anyway.

I simply didn't care, I'd manage, i'd take my chances.

I needed to smash the delusion that its a good idea to drink NOW. That it is somehow worth while.

Think about it, how long did any serenity from those first few drinks last? Was it as good as it you thought? For me in the later days alcohol just didn't work like it used to. Those days of getting fueld with confidence. Those days of pouring alcohol into a dorky guy and waking up with a hot, single mom and just a bit of a headache are done for me. It wasn't happening anymore. It simply doesn't work anymore!

While I think step 3 can get an alcoholic through anything I think a relapse is a break down on step 1. More so then the step word for word. Its the realization that we can not touch this stuff. The depth that I get step 1 with is the foundation for the rest of my sobriety.

Its easier said then done but I think for long term recovery the seriousness of step 1 has to run so deep in the soul. It has to overpower the obsession every single day. I think we all want to stay sober more then we want to drink. The problem is the obsession to drink only has to win out one time. Cunning, baffling, and powerful.

I think prayer is one if the best things to help root in this idea that we can not pick up a drink. It works lifting weights, lift til I can not lift it anymore then pick up a lighter weight until I can't lift the lighter weight anymore.

I have had all I want to drink. Quite honestly I think just about everything besides craft beer taste like crap. The only reason id pick up a shot is to increase my beer buzz. I've had so many types of beer nothing new could surprise me anymore. Taste only last so long anyway. There is absolutely no point to this garbage!

Anna

Gabe, you are not a terrible person. You made a mistake and you're here to make things right. You're right, it's very hard to get sober and recover. But, you can do it. Look at what happened that pushed you to drink and make a plan so that next time you can do things differently.

fini

Gabe, you can do this, and i'm glad you're back wanting it.
you said that what you were doing was working, and i will tell you the view from here is that it was not working well enough to keep you from returning to drinking. so it makes sense to do "more" or "different", no?
we're all rooting for you!

LumenandNyx

I'm confused ...

A common thread that I run into all the time is that folks who abuse alcohol nearly always want to stop. They never want to drink more. Funny, isn't it?

Eventually you'll get tired of all the torture and having to start your sobriety over. I think that event is inevitable for all addicts.

Hevyn

Ok then Gabe - this time for sure. It's never going to be worth it. It took me a while to let go of the idea that it would ever be enjoyable again. Chaos always ensued.

Dee74

Hows it going now Gabe?

D