My name is Liz, and I'm an alcoholic
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,154
Originally Posted by Lixie 
I have avoided that sentence for years, telling myself that I only have a drinking problem. What that did for me was allowing me to drink, because that's what people with a drinking problem do. No more.
Originally Posted by Lixie
I don't want to do this anymore. I want to be the best person I can be, and drinking dulls my true colors. I want to see what I can achieve sober, when I can be creative and reach my full potential.
Originally Posted by Lixie
I am a writer, and I've heard so many stories of great writers that wrote their best works drunk or high on drugs. Well, not me.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Yeah, to what DriGuy said.
When I was reading this thread I thought about how "gifted" I thought I was when I drank. If I was writing something, I was the best writer ever with insights only I could have. I was in communion with the gods - until I read it the next day.
If I'm always drinking, it is who I am in every way. I think it's more that they were already writers and they were drinking. Who wants to throw their life away chasing The Great Gatsby or A Farewell To Arms? Of the millions of wannabe authors, not many ever make a living at it.
Hemingway wrote that he loved the drink, but that he needed to be "cold" (sober) to write. In his letters he wrote that alcohol was an escape from other parts of life...not a muse.
It was Fitzgerald who coined the saying, "First a man takes a drink. Then the drink takes a drink. Then the drink takes the man."
When I was reading this thread I thought about how "gifted" I thought I was when I drank. If I was writing something, I was the best writer ever with insights only I could have. I was in communion with the gods - until I read it the next day.
If I'm always drinking, it is who I am in every way. I think it's more that they were already writers and they were drinking. Who wants to throw their life away chasing The Great Gatsby or A Farewell To Arms? Of the millions of wannabe authors, not many ever make a living at it.
Hemingway wrote that he loved the drink, but that he needed to be "cold" (sober) to write. In his letters he wrote that alcohol was an escape from other parts of life...not a muse.
It was Fitzgerald who coined the saying, "First a man takes a drink. Then the drink takes a drink. Then the drink takes the man."
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Location: Dancing in the Light
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Hi Liz,
I think alcoholism robs us of everything that's important to us, as with your writing. I really hope that you can get back to writing. I do think it's important to have a recovery plan in place where you specifically think of how you will stop drinking and how you will remain sober.
I think alcoholism robs us of everything that's important to us, as with your writing. I really hope that you can get back to writing. I do think it's important to have a recovery plan in place where you specifically think of how you will stop drinking and how you will remain sober.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by Lixie
I have avoided that sentence for years, telling myself that I only have a drinking problem. What that did for me was allowing me to drink, because that's what people with a drinking problem do. No more. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to be the best person I can be, and drinking dulls my true colors. I want to see what I can achieve sober, when I can be creative and reach my full potential. I am a writer, and I've heard so many stories of great writers that wrote their best works drunk or high on drugs. Well, not me.
I am an alcoholic, and that's why I can't drink. I want to be sober.
I am an alcoholic, and that's why I can't drink. I want to be sober.
Welcome
soberfighterwriter
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by DriGuy
I've those thoughts too, but after years of sobriety, I realize I probably never will reach my full potential. You can only do better, and I have accomplished that to an extent. I'm content with that. Very content. But if I'm going to rank my gratitude levels, being free of an addiction ranks higher than being a better person. Being a better person is like the sprinkles on the cookie. Sprinkles make it better, but the real treat is the cookie. Not everyone may agree with this, but that's how it is for me.
soberfighterwriter
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by biminiblue
Hemingway wrote that he loved the drink, but that he needed to be "cold" (sober) to write. In his letters he wrote that alcohol was an escape from other parts of life...not a muse.
soberfighterwriter
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Join Date: Jan 2020
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Originally Posted by Gabe1980
Good for you Liz, it's an important step. Now you just need a plan to say sober and you'll get a ton of help with that here 
soberfighterwriter
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by Anna
Hi Liz,
I think alcoholism robs us of everything that's important to us, as with your writing. I really hope that you can get back to writing. I do think it's important to have a recovery plan in place where you specifically think of how you will stop drinking and how you will remain sober.
I think alcoholism robs us of everything that's important to us, as with your writing. I really hope that you can get back to writing. I do think it's important to have a recovery plan in place where you specifically think of how you will stop drinking and how you will remain sober.
soberfighterwriter
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by DreamCatcher17
Welcome
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Hi Liz - Congrats on your day two. We know how hard it is to get started - but you're doing it.
You sound ready to reclaim your life and stay free. We know you can.
You sound ready to reclaim your life and stay free. We know you can.
Originally Posted by least
Congrats on making a wise decision to stop drinking. Use the support here to help you get sober for good. 
Use the support here to help you get sober for good. Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
I had to accept that my relationship with alcohol was, and always, will be toxic.
If I was to drink again today, even after 13 years, I'd know full well what to expect.
That doesn't mean I stay in a state of imprisonment like I did in active addiction
D
If I was to drink again today, even after 13 years, I'd know full well what to expect.
That doesn't mean I stay in a state of imprisonment like I did in active addiction
D
soberfighterwriter
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,719
I woke up early this morning and was lying in bed listening to the rain. The sound of the constant drizzle was soothing, but every now and then one or two drops hit the surface a little harder and it was as if the rain wanted to talk to me in morse code. It told me stories of a life more at peace with myself, of crisp, early mornings without hangovers, of late nights talking, laughing and watching shows with my partner where I remember everything the next day. A life without the shame, guilt and regrets I always wake up with, a life where I am in control of my actions. I like those stories. I want to be mindful, living in moments like that, enjoying the tiny moments of pure bliss that I so often miss because of my drinking.
Today is day three, and I have had a long talk with my partner, who is so happy that I have made this decision. It makes me feel even better about it. It is Saturday and I am not going to drink today.
Thank you for reading.
Today is day three, and I have had a long talk with my partner, who is so happy that I have made this decision. It makes me feel even better about it. It is Saturday and I am not going to drink today.
Thank you for reading.
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