Willpower is for losers
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,408
Recovery is about exercising some degree of will power in the early days/months. However for me and the type of recovery I wanted willpower had nothing to do with it. Instead the drink problem was removed as it says in the book AA and I’m placed in a position of neutrality. I’ve not sworn alcohol off per se, simply the problem is no more. It’s a wonderful freeing experience and what I class as freedom from alcoholism providing I keep in fit spiritual condition.
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Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by ZIP 
Good point.
The longer I remain AF, it's not so much willpower....more like good judgement, and some effort to avoid showing up where lots of booze is flowing.
The longer I remain AF, it's not so much willpower....more like good judgement, and some effort to avoid showing up where lots of booze is flowing.
My strategy required a new direction, because the things I depended on to keep sober were now gone. Any further success would require constantly making the correct decision in regards to alcohol. In other words I had to replace fear and the application of willpower with THINKING. It wasn't like this was going to be easier, because it required constant thinking without ever letting down my guard. Actually, it did get easier, because thinking like this and applying good judgement became second nature. But when I consciously changed my strategy I wasn't aware that the strategy would eventually become just my normal state.
The reason I am emphasizing this point so much is that it is easy for all of us to avoid thinking through every large or small drinking impulse. Most humans, both alcoholics and normies, rather assume that thinking as well as good judgement and logic are human default states. Based on my observation of myself and others, I firmly believe this is not the case. Thinking and good judgement have to be learned.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 286
Originally Posted by DriGuy
The reason I am emphasizing this point so much is that it is easy for all of us to avoid thinking through every large or small drinking impulse. Most humans, both alcoholics and normies, rather assume that thinking as well as good judgement and logic are human default states. Based on my observation of myself and others, I firmly believe this is not the case. Thinking and good judgement have to be learned.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I agree emphatically with DriGuy. This is completely in alignment with my experience. Grabbing onto the concrete with all my might to resist the urge to drink is not a good long-term strategy. For me, it's also not effective to bravely stick out my tongue and say "poo-poo on you, you nasty little urge."
Paying attention to the urge, then figuring out what I'm thinking/feeling/assuming that makes me want to escape - that's what has been serving me best. Observing with curiosity, without judgement.
O
Paying attention to the urge, then figuring out what I'm thinking/feeling/assuming that makes me want to escape - that's what has been serving me best. Observing with curiosity, without judgement.
O
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Interesting discussion. For me it seems willpower was basically irrelevant. I was so disgusted with alcohol and myself that I just stopped and lost (almost) all desire to drink. "Observing with curiosity, without judgement," as stated above, is key. I immediately started meditating and reading about mindfulness when I quit drinking. Meditation taught me how to have any thought, any feeling, any emotion, any craving, and just sit there doing nothing about it. Not drinking is about not believing that we have to do anything about our experience and our perceptions. Just sit there and ride it out and you'll be fine.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by DriGuy
The transition from willpower to good judgement is something I noticed too, and I think embracing good judgement is absolutely necessary for long term sobriety. When my need to drink abated, I was left with something similar to a vacuum. I no longer needed will power, and I lost the terrifying horror that I might drink again. I felt like I had to think that transition through.
My strategy required a new direction, because the things I depended on to keep sober were now gone. Any further success would require constantly making the correct decision in regards to alcohol. In other words I had to replace fear and the application of willpower with THINKING. It wasn't like this was going to be easier, because it required constant thinking without ever letting down my guard. Actually, it did get easier, because thinking like this and applying good judgement became second nature. But when I consciously changed my strategy I wasn't aware that the strategy would eventually become just my normal state.
The reason I am emphasizing this point so much is that it is easy for all of us to avoid thinking through every large or small drinking impulse. Most humans, both alcoholics and normies, rather assume that thinking as well as good judgement and logic are human default states. Based on my observation of myself and others, I firmly believe this is not the case. Thinking and good judgement have to be learned.
My strategy required a new direction, because the things I depended on to keep sober were now gone. Any further success would require constantly making the correct decision in regards to alcohol. In other words I had to replace fear and the application of willpower with THINKING. It wasn't like this was going to be easier, because it required constant thinking without ever letting down my guard. Actually, it did get easier, because thinking like this and applying good judgement became second nature. But when I consciously changed my strategy I wasn't aware that the strategy would eventually become just my normal state.
The reason I am emphasizing this point so much is that it is easy for all of us to avoid thinking through every large or small drinking impulse. Most humans, both alcoholics and normies, rather assume that thinking as well as good judgement and logic are human default states. Based on my observation of myself and others, I firmly believe this is not the case. Thinking and good judgement have to be learned.
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