2 months - Starting to get wobbly
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,320
2 months - Starting to get wobbly
Made it back to 2 months today! Started this year with 3 months and caved.(Wow, just realized that makes 5 months this year 
) Had 100 days a couple years ago. Almost feels like a 3 month barrier that I need to crash through. Have talked to several here over the last couple of years that have said the same thing about that 3 month thing. The crash earlier this year came out of the blue. The one a couple years ago was well planned. I can feel myself starting a planning phase again, but all sense and logic is telling me that I need to crash that barrier. There will always be special circumstances that come up, maybe even some made up subconsciously, but it is time to see what I'm made of.
) Had 100 days a couple years ago. Almost feels like a 3 month barrier that I need to crash through. Have talked to several here over the last couple of years that have said the same thing about that 3 month thing. The crash earlier this year came out of the blue. The one a couple years ago was well planned. I can feel myself starting a planning phase again, but all sense and logic is telling me that I need to crash that barrier. There will always be special circumstances that come up, maybe even some made up subconsciously, but it is time to see what I'm made of.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hey BD - congrats on 2 months.
I wanna remind you tho recovery - permanent lasting recovery- is possible....but you’ll never know if you always let yourself be talked into giving before 3 months.
You need to get 3 months to get 6 months, a year, 2 years, 20 years
Some of the greatest times, and largest strides, of my life have come from accepting recovery as a new way of life, not another temporary fad diet
you can do this Dave
D
I wanna remind you tho recovery - permanent lasting recovery- is possible....but you’ll never know if you always let yourself be talked into giving before 3 months.
You need to get 3 months to get 6 months, a year, 2 years, 20 years
Some of the greatest times, and largest strides, of my life have come from accepting recovery as a new way of life, not another temporary fad diet
you can do this Dave
D
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 753
I know what you mean about the 2-3 month mark , it gets a bit boring and the AV tells you it’s ok , moderate like normal people
I’m on holiday at moment and weather is fantastic ..walked passed pub on seafront and seen them all enjoying themselves with there beers and wine ..envy flashed all over me that they can enjoy a drink
then I looked at my watch ..11.30AM ..looked again and most already looked worse for wear , bloated souls , it’s a mock happiness hiding real life as fair as I am concerned now .
I want that life again ? No thanks I’ll steam through the miserable 2-3 month period , deal with my issues and life sober
walked on by , hit the beach with kids , paddled in sea , grabbed some chips and a slush (big kid!) ..not doing any of that if I’m in pub drinking all day as I can’t moderate as I’m a reformed alcoholic
keep pushing through ,
I’m on holiday at moment and weather is fantastic ..walked passed pub on seafront and seen them all enjoying themselves with there beers and wine ..envy flashed all over me that they can enjoy a drink
then I looked at my watch ..11.30AM ..looked again and most already looked worse for wear , bloated souls , it’s a mock happiness hiding real life as fair as I am concerned now .
I want that life again ? No thanks I’ll steam through the miserable 2-3 month period , deal with my issues and life sober
walked on by , hit the beach with kids , paddled in sea , grabbed some chips and a slush (big kid!) ..not doing any of that if I’m in pub drinking all day as I can’t moderate as I’m a reformed alcoholic
keep pushing through ,
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Join Date: Jul 2020
Location: I'm sitting right here ...
Posts: 918
I didn't experience that at the three month mark this time. And I didn't experience it when I managed to accumulate 20 months about five years ago.
I'm sitting here wondering what your sensation must feel like and the only thing coming to mind is taking me back to all the times I quit before the two times I mentioned. And while my intentions were good during those attempts to quit - I can see now that I was not resolved to quitting. Only one other time have I felt about alcohol the way I do now - it sickens me. The thought of it just makes me cringe.
If someone asked me to explain 'this' further, I'd have to say that the desire to quit seems to move away from being a desire into a resolution. Sort of similar to the resolution I have about not becoming a serial killer. You know? It'll never happen.
I know that plenty of folks manage to accumulate decades of sobriety and then drink again and I can't identify with that and I hope you and I never can. It's scary to think about so I don't go there. One day at a time suits me just fine and keeping busy doing things and writing down plans for my future are immensely helpful. I've actually turned my brain on and utilize it like a tool. I make it work FOR me and I like the way it feels. It puts me in a good mood and I like the way those feel too.
Best.
I'm sitting here wondering what your sensation must feel like and the only thing coming to mind is taking me back to all the times I quit before the two times I mentioned. And while my intentions were good during those attempts to quit - I can see now that I was not resolved to quitting. Only one other time have I felt about alcohol the way I do now - it sickens me. The thought of it just makes me cringe.
If someone asked me to explain 'this' further, I'd have to say that the desire to quit seems to move away from being a desire into a resolution. Sort of similar to the resolution I have about not becoming a serial killer. You know? It'll never happen.
I know that plenty of folks manage to accumulate decades of sobriety and then drink again and I can't identify with that and I hope you and I never can. It's scary to think about so I don't go there. One day at a time suits me just fine and keeping busy doing things and writing down plans for my future are immensely helpful. I've actually turned my brain on and utilize it like a tool. I make it work FOR me and I like the way it feels. It puts me in a good mood and I like the way those feel too.
Best.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
"I can feel myself starting a planning phase again"
That looks like the addictive voice speaking up. Try "I can feel the addictive voice starting a planning phase again" Separate yourself from it because it is not you.
That looks like the addictive voice speaking up. Try "I can feel the addictive voice starting a planning phase again" Separate yourself from it because it is not you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 637
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hey BD - congrats on 2 months.
I wanna remind you tho recovery - permanent lasting recovery- is possible....but you’ll never know if you always let yourself be talked into giving before 3 months.
You need to get 3 months to get 6 months, a year, 2 years, 20 years
Some of the greatest times, and largest strides, of my life have come from accepting recovery as a new way of life, not another temporary fad diet
you can do this Dave
D
I wanna remind you tho recovery - permanent lasting recovery- is possible....but you’ll never know if you always let yourself be talked into giving before 3 months.
You need to get 3 months to get 6 months, a year, 2 years, 20 years
Some of the greatest times, and largest strides, of my life have come from accepting recovery as a new way of life, not another temporary fad diet
you can do this Dave
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 637
Originally Posted by bobdrop
Made it back to 2 months today! Started this year with 3 months and caved.(Wow, just realized that makes 5 months this year ) Had 100 days a couple years ago. Almost feels like a 3 month barrier that I need to crash through. Have talked to several here over the last couple of years that have said the same thing about that 3 month thing. The crash earlier this year came out of the blue. The one a couple years ago was well planned. I can feel myself starting a planning phase again, but all sense and logic is telling me that I need to crash that barrier. There will always be special circumstances that come up, maybe even some made up subconsciously, but it is time to see what I'm made of.
) Had 100 days a couple years ago. Almost feels like a 3 month barrier that I need to crash through. Have talked to several here over the last couple of years that have said the same thing about that 3 month thing. The crash earlier this year came out of the blue. The one a couple years ago was well planned. I can feel myself starting a planning phase again, but all sense and logic is telling me that I need to crash that barrier. There will always be special circumstances that come up, maybe even some made up subconsciously, but it is time to see what I'm made of.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by bobdrop
Made it back to 2 months today! Started this year with 3 months and caved.(Wow, just realized that makes 5 months this year ) Had 100 days a couple years ago. Almost feels like a 3 month barrier that I need to crash through. Have talked to several here over the last couple of years that have said the same thing about that 3 month thing. The crash earlier this year came out of the blue. The one a couple years ago was well planned. I can feel myself starting a planning phase again, but all sense and logic is telling me that I need to crash that barrier. There will always be special circumstances that come up, maybe even some made up subconsciously, but it is time to see what I'm made of.
) Had 100 days a couple years ago. Almost feels like a 3 month barrier that I need to crash through. Have talked to several here over the last couple of years that have said the same thing about that 3 month thing. The crash earlier this year came out of the blue. The one a couple years ago was well planned. I can feel myself starting a planning phase again, but all sense and logic is telling me that I need to crash that barrier. There will always be special circumstances that come up, maybe even some made up subconsciously, but it is time to see what I'm made of.What do you do for yourself between relapses?
This is the absolute best time for you to procrastinate. Indefinitely. Put off your relapse until things are less crazy; when the economy's better, the pandemic starts to unwind, or when children stop getting sick at school. And then find another excuse to put it off again until there are no more excuses.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,320
Stickyone-Not sure what you mean by threadjack, so no need to apologize. Hope the PAWS is not too bad. Pretty sure that is what got me out of the blue earlier this year. I wasn't expecting anything like what happened. I really am trying to be pro-active this time.
Thanks for all the comments. I am doing OK Dee. As I said, trying to be pro-active and not repeat earlier actions that sent me down the rabbit hole. Right now my concentration is on getting to 3 months. I think one of the big issues that may be a problem for all of us is with all the uncertainty in the world around us. I find myself just wanting things to be resolved and decisions made so everyone can get on with their lives. So happy that August is finally here. Schools opening is going to be stressful, but at least it is finally upon us so we can face it instead of sitting around just thinking about it. OK, I'll stop now.
Thanks for all the comments. I am doing OK Dee. As I said, trying to be pro-active and not repeat earlier actions that sent me down the rabbit hole. Right now my concentration is on getting to 3 months. I think one of the big issues that may be a problem for all of us is with all the uncertainty in the world around us. I find myself just wanting things to be resolved and decisions made so everyone can get on with their lives. So happy that August is finally here. Schools opening is going to be stressful, but at least it is finally upon us so we can face it instead of sitting around just thinking about it. OK, I'll stop now.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi bob, hope you get through this and stay sober, you're right there is so much uncertainty and fear around now but drinking solves nothing. I had 59 days then drank and carried on and carried on. Back to day 1 today. Don't do what I did.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by bobdrop
Made it back to 2 months today! Started this year with 3 months and caved.(Wow, just realized that makes 5 months this year ) Had 100 days a couple years ago. Almost feels like a 3 month barrier that I need to crash through. Have talked to several here over the last couple of years that have said the same thing about that 3 month thing. The crash earlier this year came out of the blue. The one a couple years ago was well planned. I can feel myself starting a planning phase again, but all sense and logic is telling me that I need to crash that barrier. There will always be special circumstances that come up, maybe even some made up subconsciously, but it is time to see what I'm made of.
) Had 100 days a couple years ago. Almost feels like a 3 month barrier that I need to crash through. Have talked to several here over the last couple of years that have said the same thing about that 3 month thing. The crash earlier this year came out of the blue. The one a couple years ago was well planned. I can feel myself starting a planning phase again, but all sense and logic is telling me that I need to crash that barrier. There will always be special circumstances that come up, maybe even some made up subconsciously, but it is time to see what I'm made of.Hi Bob. I think so much of addiction is the conditioning we’ve done - making our brain believes it needs alcohol because it ALWAYS has alcohol. Every night. At every sporting event. At every brunch. At every wedding. Heck, at every funeral reception. At every Christmas party. Etc. The more time you spend sober, the more time you spend conditioning your brain that alcohol is not needed at all of these events. Anyway, it seems to me like you’ve conditioned your brain that alcohol is always needed after two or three months. I think you have to get past this time period in order to make this time easier. Of course, then the time will be passed. It won’t be like a Christmas party that may come up another year. The point is though I think you’ve conditioned yourself to think that you have to have this drink after a few months. You don’t. You can do it! Of course you feel like drinking now. You always drink after this amount of time, as you say. Push through this barrier and give yourself a win. I believe in you.
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Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,944
Originally Posted by rainyengland
on holiday at moment and weather is fantastic ..walked passed pub on seafront and seen them all enjoying themselves with there beers and wine ..envy flashed all over me that they can enjoy a drink
then I looked at my watch ..11.30AM ..looked again and most already looked worse for wear , bloated souls
walked on by , hit the beach with kids , paddled in sea , grabbed some chips and a slush (big kid!) ..not doing any of that if I’m in pub drinking ,
then I looked at my watch ..11.30AM ..looked again and most already looked worse for wear , bloated souls
walked on by , hit the beach with kids , paddled in sea , grabbed some chips and a slush (big kid!) ..not doing any of that if I’m in pub drinking ,
But on to more positive stuff, paddling on the beach with your chips sounded brilliant, rainy! To be stuck in a pub in this weather is just sad. Glad you had fun (and no beer).
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Being an Ex Military man, I used to deploy overseas to places where I could not drink without risking punishment.
So I was getting 90 to 150 days clean off and on for the last several years of my career.
Being uneducated in the theory of Kindling and addiction related PTSD, I would relapse hard up return to the US. The govt would give us 2 to 5 or so weeks off upon return. This led to some serious non stop drinking sessions.
Work hard play hard.
So when I finally learned what had happened to my body and mind, I was already close to non recoverable.
Each relapse digs the crazy hole deeper and deeper. Eventually, the crazy doesn't leave. I remains until I die from old age or a booze related issue.
Education, suffering, and time were my keys to success....so far.
I have another 30 or so glorious sober years to go. I can't wait to see what it feels like to be 30 years clean. It will be sad to see my friends and family wasting away drinking neuro toxins routinely. I tried to help them.
The addict has to want it very very bad. Otherwise, getting clean is likely impossible.
Thanks.
So I was getting 90 to 150 days clean off and on for the last several years of my career.
Being uneducated in the theory of Kindling and addiction related PTSD, I would relapse hard up return to the US. The govt would give us 2 to 5 or so weeks off upon return. This led to some serious non stop drinking sessions.
Work hard play hard.
So when I finally learned what had happened to my body and mind, I was already close to non recoverable.
Each relapse digs the crazy hole deeper and deeper. Eventually, the crazy doesn't leave. I remains until I die from old age or a booze related issue.
Education, suffering, and time were my keys to success....so far.
I have another 30 or so glorious sober years to go. I can't wait to see what it feels like to be 30 years clean. It will be sad to see my friends and family wasting away drinking neuro toxins routinely. I tried to help them.
The addict has to want it very very bad. Otherwise, getting clean is likely impossible.
Thanks.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,320
Thanks guys. I am on day 67 and last night is when I would have normally caved. Mrs. Bob and I are spending a couple of nights at the beach, celebrating 37th anniversary. Last year or the year before, I would have come up with some excuse why I needed to drink for the occasion. Mrs. Bob would normally think that it would be OK and I would have her blessing. Between the both of us this time, it just wasn't an option, or on the table, even though she continued to have her drinks and everyone else at the hotel(or so it seemed) Hopefully now we can just enjoy the rest of our time here and then back home to get ready for whatever the new school year will bring. Mrs. Bob is in her last year of teaching and we have a son that is a senior in High School.
Hopefully now we can just enjoy the rest of our time here and then back home to get ready for whatever the new school year will bring. Mrs. Bob is in her last year of teaching and we have a son that is a senior in High School.
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