overforty

I've been here before.
Coming up on 2 weeks of sobriety and finding it a joyless slog.
I'm starting to feel physically better and am exercising to quiet the anxiety.
I'm meal planning and cooking healthy food and trying to stay busy.
I lost my job 7 weeks ago and am finding being at home all day difficult.
There are very few jobs in my area with many applicants and I'm worrying about money etc... and yes you've guessed it - I want a break from it all in the form of wine.
My AV is loud today - I just want to take a break from clarity.

With each attempt at sobriety my sense of humour dissappears and quite honestly I feel miserable.
Not that allowing my life to spiral out of control while I was drinking was a laugh a minute - so I know my AV is talking ****!

I'm so bored of this - everyone says it gets better - and I'm trying to stay positive and learn how to deal with life without drinking.
I've been down the relapse road more than once and know where it goes.
Bored.com

Anna

Hi Overforty,

Two weeks of sobriety is great, but it's still early in recovery. I noticed a shift at the 3 week point when things became a bit easier. Give your body, mind and spirit a little longer to begin to heal.

overforty

Thanks Anna x
I'm impatient - I feel like I’m in constant recovery from something, whether its alcohol or injuries or bereavements or job loss - it's relentless!
I guess thats life.

someday147

Hi Overforty

I'm at 2 weeks as well and also suffering anxiety. I just have to believe it will get better and at least we are sober and on a healthy path. The alternative is guaranteed to worsen the anxiety. There are many with long term sobriety who have no doubt been where we are now at one stage. All the best. The difficult path will reap the best, sustainable rewards.

overforty

Thanks someday147
I'm sorry you're suffering with anxiety too.
Yes you're right - alcohol will make it so much worse.

someday147

Thanks Overforty,

We got this! I also have no job and the days can be long i'm doing similar things to you, cooking healthy meals and keeping busy.
This site is a god send so much wisdom here.

Hodd

You’re feeling physically better, and that’s only after two weeks. Be wary. I’d quit countless times for two weeks, maybe there, but then of course I started again. In the end, I too felt down for a few weeks but stuck with it. I felt great after a month or so, but the urges were lurking. Now 19 months on, they rarely bother me.

Give yourself a bit of praise. You’ve quit during the most bizarre period of our history plus you’ve lost your job. I admire anyone who’s quit during the pandemic as I couldn’t have. I promise the downer will go in two or three weeks. Don’t undo the good work.

overforty

I can't wait for the urge to go away!
I felt like this was the best time to quit - while the world is mental and I have time on my hands to get a grip.
I'm unsure how I'm going to remain sober today - but Im trying really hard.

Sober45

Hi Overforty, sorry to hear you're feeling down (and some to you Someday). You guys are still in early days. Even at almost 7 months I consider myself to still be in early days.

Is there anything you can do that might provide some immediate relaxation? Personally, I took a lot of hot baths and rested a lot. I also consumed a ton of sugar and binge watched movies and YouTube.. I can't just do any old thing to occupy my mind, it has something that brings me physical comfort and engages my mind.

I know some people are hesitant to do the things I did to replace alcohol because they're afraid of dropping one bad thing for another. But with sobriety being priority #1 I felt it was the only way. I'm still 10lb lighter then when I was drinking.

The thing is, we are finding our way, like babies. But unlike babies, we don't have our parents directing us with loving care, we must it figure out....what makes us tick, what brings us joy....it's a learning curve. Do for yourself what you would do for a vulnerable child. Love, Love and more Love.

So glad you're coming here instead of picking up a bottle. Two weeks would be a lot to throw away. Keep going.

someday147

You can do it Overforty. Just keep posting here we are all in this together whether we have 1 day or 10 years it's only about staying sober today.

LumenandNyx

It's a bumpy road - no doubt. But I always looked at it as a challenge. I'd ask myself what I can do to fill my time as I go through the process of getting well. I found plenty to do. There are things to do, stuff to watch, people to be listened to and nature to observe.

You'll figure it out as soon as you turn your thinking around. Right now you're in a slump. Crawl out. There's all sorts of stuff goin' on out here.

copperfield

Hi Overforty,
I totally hear you. I'm back again from numerous tries over the years. I am also off work because of the pandemic and have found being stuck at home very hard at times to stay motivated and positive. I hope you find comfort knowing others are there with you, I found comfort in your message. I'm really just focusing on day to day. 14 days is amazing, proud for you!

boreas

Sometimes things just suck. We are in a unique time right now...lots of things are terrible for lots of people.

That being said, there is real value in doing the right thing. Not because it’s the easy thing, or the pleasant thing, but just because it is the responsible, grown up choice.

I have been able to take a great deal of pride in continuing to make the right choice and overcoming my self-indulgent tendencies. It hasn’t brought me rainbows and joy, but I am content, and sometimes happy.

Keep going. The price of momentary ease is way too high.
-bora

”When it comes right down to it, you're in it alone. Each day is different, and you get up, put one foot in front of the other, and go -- and love; just love." N. Reagan

MaximusD

I think a lot of people are having issues right now. Also, it takes a while for the pleasure pathways to reset. We have been getting unnatural bursts of dopamine as drinkers for so long it takes a bit to reset. You may need to actively seek out things that are pleasurable to you. Exercise has been one thing that really has helped me. Sometimes, exercising isn't fun in the moment but after you accomplish it it can be.

Hodd

I promise you with all my heart and more that it does go. You’ll physically notice this within a few weeks. Do anything now not to drink. Buy an ice cream, brush your teeth, drink a hot chocolate with 1000 calories. I had a phase of drinking energy drinks. Nothing healthy about these, but they helped control my urge, and they’re not addictive.

I feel your pain. I’ve been there, bored and restless in those first weeks. It was like training for a marathon.

But now I don’t want to drink. The urges that come occasionally are weak. You can be like this if you just give yourself a few weeks to feel better, and don’t drink. Nice surprises will come your way.

Dee74

Hey over forty
I dunno about you but I drank for decades - 2 weeks is great but it’s going to take a little more time than that for your body - and your mind - to heal from the damage we alcoholics inflict on ourselves.

Please don’t fall into the trap of thinking this is recovery and this is the best it’s going to get, because that’s just not true. This is the early part - it’s rough but your mind and body are healing and you will feel joy again

try and be patient

D

Misssy2

This is a very, very scary feeling...a very depressing feeling...I hope you made it thru the day and I hope that you feel better tomorrow.
I totally GET this and any time I felt like this it didn't turn out good for me.

That is why I am not going to post a post of how many days I have right now...but I will say I believe and know from my experience with myself there is a "difference" in each sobriety when I continue to relapse...

Times I have relapsed I have felt good about it...and failed.
Times I have relapsed and felt bad about it ..and failed.
Times I have relapsed and felt good about it and succeeded for good lengths of time...one time 8 years.

So don't ever think I will NEVER be able to do this...because something may come upon you eventually...even in the next 10 minutes or the next 3 drunks that you can.....and I hope you don't have to do 3 or more drunks....I hope you live thru whatever happens and I hope you are able to 'breathe" a sigh of relief one day.

I believe you keep talking...keep being honest...do the best you can....take it a minute at a time if you mess up...try again. This post touched me because I know these "dark, helpless" feelings too well.
My thoughts are with you.

overforty

Thank you all so much for your replies
Today is a new hangover free day and I'm grateful for it.
X

brighterday1234

Short term pain for long-term gain = recovery

Sometimes you just gotta get through but I can tell you that in my experience the rewards are more than worth it. The sober life is a wonderful life but it has to be given time 🙏

Hodd

Thank you for the update, OF.

I remember sitting there after 2 or 3 weeks of not drinking and thinking my evenings were going to be hell for the rest of my life. I wasn’t physically ill or shaking or anything, just very anxious. It’s hard to pinpoint when those feelings stopped, but it was definitely no more than six weeks. I’m not going to deny it was one of the toughest things I’ve done, but I reckon it was the best thing I’ve done.