RedheadJen

As of today, I am 13 days alcohol sober, yay! That is my positive for the day. I quit back in February for a day less than a month until I left my AV creep in and that's why I am where I am today, struggling.
Things were so much easier when I quit in February. I know that someone posted here, the more relapses, the more difficult the recovery and boy isn't that the truth!
I admittedly have zero friends. I do have one but she thinks I already have quit and never drank so she cant relate. I have my sister down in Pennsylvania (I'm in Maine) and my husband with a heart condition that cant really go out in the heat so our fun options are very limited. I pretty much spend my days now as I did a month or two ago, clean the house, run the errands, etc., very boring.
Im trying to maintain a positive attitude but its so hard some times. My husband is very apprehensive about offering me support he says, because "we've been through this so many times". He used to tell me all the time, "You've got this!" or "I'm proud of you!" I've never wanted this sobriety more in my life. I kind of have to no choice lol because he will never allow alcohol in this house again. He texted me yesterday and said "alcohol makes me hate you " I'm not drinking so I can only assume he meant how the lack of alcohol is making me feel/act. So I am getting very little support from him
I need to find a new hobby or something. I'm just finding myself slipping into a depression and i dont want to go down that road.
Guess i just needed to get that off my chest, thanks guys....

tornrealization

I don’t have any close friends or family to talk too. I’ve used mainly these boards as support, lurking or posting and it’s been very helpful. With the pandemic most people are stuck in their homes as well. I don’t know if you’ve read up on any bookies but the Naked Mind May help out. Also start doing some walks. Those help the body and mind. You could start a new goal oriented hobby like learning some new recipes. Is there a task you’ve been dreading like a room or garage full of clutter to tackle? It will get easier. Replacing the drinking void with new activities and rewiring your brain to enjoy downtime will come. I think I was edgey for quite some time so practicing gratitude helps as well. Waking up not hungover on deaths door is so much more amazing and longer lasting than the drinking at night. I have a husband who wants to party on the weekends, it took him a year... To see I was serious about this. I had to make it be for me. I know they are our husbands and a pillar of support but it sounds like you just need to get your support elsewhere for now. Do it for you, it’s going to be worth it. Hang in there.

RedheadJen

I agree, I do think I need to look for support elsewhere. It just sucks because when my husband had his heart scare (prior post) I was there for him in half a split second. I just wish he would do the same for me

LumenandNyx

I don't think it's very logical to compare his heart scare, which was a one time thing, to your drinking, which has taken place over a lengthy period of time. The two situations don't have anything in common - that I can see.

Our drinking really beats our loved ones down psychologically. We drink over such a long period of time, and we make promise after promise to cut back or quit entirely -that ultimately fail each time - that it's hard for them to continue wanting to be supportive. They just want to walk away and be done with our drama. Because my guess is that at first - he was supportive and there for you. You've been writing about quitting for some time. You've started a good number of threads here. Imagine what it's like for him to LIVE with having to watch you drink and get drunk again and again. That's a lot.

I know how you feel. I'm not five months sober yet and I'm still on the outs with some of my family members. And it's okay. I figure they're doing me and themselves a favor by keeping their distance. Now I can focus on myself and getting better. My time isn't occupied by thinking or worrying about them. I've detached. And the support you think you need from somewhere else - might just be from you. You might be the support you need.

Taking care of and focusing on getting healthy so that you can finally shine again as the person you really are that's buried underneath all this craziness.

silentrun

Maybe you could sit him down and tell him what support from him looks like and he could make changes in that direction. LOL just kidding, I've been married 26 years and it goes in one ear and out the other.

I did have the same problem tho. Everyone I know is either still drinking and doesn't see a problem with it or never had a problem. I didn't marry a drinker on purpose so I look elsewhere for support regarding this. Being a woman, I gravitate toward the support of other women anyway.

Anna

13 days of sobriety is great, Jen.

I really wanted my family to support me, too. But, it didn't happen and once I realized it wasn't going to happen, I began to do better. I think I was then able to put all my energy into getting through each day/week, and I no longer had expectations that my family would notice my achievements. It's really hard for others to understand how difficult it is to recover, but we can do hard things.

Delilah1

Maybe give him some time and show him that you’re serious about staying sober this time. If he was supportive in the past, and you started drinking again he may not believe you’re going to stay quit this time. A hobby sounds like a good plan, find some things you enjoy to help you stay sober. Maybe you can find some shows you and your husband can watch together if he needs to hang closer to home.

Remember you are getting sober for you, and I promise you sobriety is worth it!!

Noam19

Any groups you can join locally? I know around my community there are all sorts of groups at the community center for a variety of hobbies.

Sober45

Your husband seems desperate for you to stop drinking. He supported you in the past but it didn't work. Maybe he's trying a different approach...the tough love kind? This stuff is very confusing for our spouses. To a non-alcoholic, it's implausible that we would chose drink over everything else. If he's also sick, then I can totally see where he is coming from.

I focused on me and left him out of it. As time went on and I became more stable, we came closer together. We've been together for 24 years and right now is the best our marriage has ever been.

If drinking was ever going to help, you wouldn't be posting here today. You know the difference now and that's a huge step in achieving happiness in sobriety.

Today he is breathing and so are you, something to be grateful for.