Riversong

So I’m new here I want to quit I drink most days wine or vodka or cider or beer doesn’t really matter couple bottles of wine or most of bottle vodka basically about 18-20 units each time I do normally manage a couple drink free nights a week and at times even manage a week and don’t get withdrawal? Just the hangover the day after drinking. So I try and kid myself I can’t really be addicted if I don’t get withdrawal but who am I kidding I know I’ve got a problem known for years I think I’m finally ready to face that! I know I can’t do aa I know it’s a lot of religion and that’s not me. So I’ve found this site and hopefully talking to others that have been through it will help me do it. Already reading though posts has helped me think yes I can do this yes it will be a struggle but it will be with it! Won’t feel rubbish all the time for starters!

Anna

Welcome, Riversong and I'm glad you found us and joined.

I think denial is very common in alcoholics and I always believed that I could stop drinking when I decided to. But, I couldn't.

I think it helps to come up with a recovery plan to help you get through the early days and to continue to stay sober. There is lots of support here.

Riversong

My plan I’m currently preparing myself getting myself ready telling myself I am going to stop I will have this weekend then start new week start new life without alcohol. I know you will say why not quit today I need a I’m starting then a note on the calendar this is when this is happening like when you have a appointment or start a new job or enroll on a course you know when it’s going to happen not oh this is happening right now no advanced warning! And I will write down just how bad I feel in details next couple days to look back at when I want to give in and drink to remind myself just how bad next day is!

Orchid1

Welcome!!

So I've said the 'I need this date to start so I mentally prepare' but what if today is the day your body gives in? Today may be the day your liver...heart...kidneys say **** it i'm done. For me it was my addiction voice(AV) that convinced me. I hope you do quit on your start date and this community will be here for you when you do! Again...welcome to the fam! Glad to have you😊

Obladi

Welcome, Riversong. I'm glad you've joined us and glad you have a plan to stop by Monday. Starting a new week fresh sounds like a great plan, second only to starting it today.

copperfield

Hello Riversong,
Thank you for your post - it resonates well with my own struggles. I really wish you well and I hope to stick it out to with you.

fini

welcome, Riversong.
totally hear you on wanting to be “prepared”. did that myself quite a few times. when i ultimately quit, it was “unprepared”, i.e. unplanned for that day, but i think all my preplanned, prepared quit failures had finally sunk in to show me something i had not accepted before.
whichever way you get there.
hope you stick around and things don’t go too sideways before monday.

least

Welcome to the family Riversong! I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Khorhey

You don’t get withdrawals....yet. If you do get them you will wish you stopped before you started getting them. Use the resources available and enlighten yourself about what can happen.

If you get to 30 days hopefully that will get you feeling good enough to want to do it long term.

Dee74

Welcome aboard RiverSong - always good to meet another Whovian.

D

Fallow

Hello RS
In ny case I finally realized that my hangovers were the withdrawals. I never had seizures or DTs but it still took days for me to feel normal after a binge. I am afraid to keep drinking until the seizures and DTs and other withdrawal symptoms arrive. Don't go down with the ship.

Culture

Aw, you spoilt my fun Dee 74, I was going to say that.

Reid82

Welcome to SR

Hodd

Hi River, one day I just got fed up and quit for good. It wasn’t easy, of course, but it soon got better. It wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference if I’d set a date. What’ll be the difference?

But I’m being a bit rude. The important thing is you’ve recognised you have to quit. The amount you’re drinking means you’re alcohol dependent so it’s all or nothing sadly. There’ll be no moderation, no little treats. The good news is quitting 100% is easier.

You need to replace that drinking with another activity whether it be sport, basket weaving or whatever. I used to drink whilst sat at a computer or watching TV. If I’d tried to stop drinking whilst still vegging out, it wouldn’t have happened. It’s a lifestyle change and a good one. Don’t waste any more of your life drinking as it’s way better without.

Surrendered19

Hi Riversong. Welcome to SR. How is today going for you? You are very wise for getting on top of this thing while you are still seemingly in ok shape. If you can manage a few days sober each week and don't have debilitating detox symptoms other than bad hangovers, quitting for good will by physically easier I think. Mentally it will be tough in its own way, like it is for everyone, but you can do it. Life is so much better sober and healthy. Your mind will be quiet and calm and you will be able to think whenever you need to.

DriGuy

A group like this almost always differs from your peers in that alcoholics understand what you are going through. Whether peers are alcoholic or not, as a group, they just can't understand. They don't understand why you can't just control your drinking. And when you quit and get better, they can't understand why you're so happy to be free. Hell, they've been free all their lives, and they're not happy about it. It's just human nature to have blank spots in understanding.

I needed a group that could understand, and 24 years ago, the only thing available to me was AA. At the time, I didn't care about being understood. I just needed help. But one of the first things I learned was that being understood was important to being helped. I had found a place where I could go every night and talk about obstacles, things I was trying, and my successes, and I could be understood for the first time in my life. That kind of understanding exists in all groups of alcoholics, whether it's an AA group or a secular group. They differ only in the tools they offer to help, although they share some common tools too.

As to the day you choose to stop, the only day that really counts is the day you stop. I stopped smoking on a chosen day, and that worked, but it only became an important day because it was the day I stepped up to the plate to take on the task. When I quit drinking, it was just another day of craving, probably the worst day of craving I ever had, but it could have been any other day too. The only thing that caused it to be the day was that I had committed to someone that I would attend a meeting that night, and I didn't want to show up drunk. I was fully ready to buy a bottle at a bar after the meeting, but something changed at the meeting. Instead of a bunch of suffering drunks craving the next drink while shaking with the sweats, it was a group of mostly joyful happy people talking about why the loved being sober. That's what changed me. A switch was flipped. I wanted that, and I saw that it was possible.

I didn't stop at the bar on the way home. My thought was that all I had to do was to make it to the next night's meeting, and then wash, rinse, and repeat every day after that. Of course there was more to it than that. There's a lot to be learned about alcoholism and about yourself as well. It will come. For me it was a nuts and bolts process with no "spirituality" involved. There are just some things you have to accept that need to be done to recover. And it's a wonderful journey, a journey that never ends. You will always be an alcoholic. In that way, you are never fully recovered, but 24 years later, I'm still getting better. It's not as dramatic as that first year of sobriety, but it is still something I like doing.

Anna

We're here for you when you stop and we have lots of support to offer.

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

MaximusD

Hi River, its Monday, how is it going?

Gabe1980

Welcome to SR Riversong! There is a wealth of support and knowledge here, I am sure that it will benefit you in lots of ways, just as it has me.

And yes, the withdrawals to come eventually. It's a horrible experience and stopping now is an awesome idea, before you have to go through that.