Orchid1

I will not drink today, I will be grateful of 5 things, I will exercise, I will improve my skill for at least 10min.

I will repeat this for 3 months and hopefully at least 2 will stick...I pray all.

Dropsie

Actually, only the first is esssential

MaximusD

Focus really hard on that first one. It has to be your #1 priority above all else.

ImNotThatGuy

Affirmations are a great way to re-wire your brain and change old ingrained patterns.

Just a suggestion, instead of "I will..." try "I do..." or "I am..."

I do not drink today or any day.

I am grateful for x, y, and z.

I exercise every day.

I work hard to improve myself.

You see? It helps if you feel it and visualize it while saying it out loud, too.

As others have said, focus really hard on that first one. Good luck!

least

Staying sober is certainly the #1 goal, but gratitude is nearly as important. Being grateful can make you happier too. It's improved my life so much. And the more I am grateful for, the more I find to be grateful for. Gratitude multiplies.

Dee74

Sounds awesome to me Orchid

D

Erratic

sounds like something i have to do and try as i find it hard to stick at something until its stuck into my brain and becomes a routine. thanks for this post orchid xx

Orchid1

Yes definitely number 1 is king. Imnotthatguy I will try that thank you👍, Erratic my pleasure! I hope it works out for you, I know last night I went to bed feeling satisfied.

Gabe1980

Sounds good to me to Orchid....what about just adding that I will care for myself. Just a thought. A big part of my recovery was making a commitment to care for myself, as we are all rubbish at doing this while drinking

Obladi

Here's something I learned in rehab.

Write a list of all of the horrible things you tell yourself.
Then write a list of positive attributes about yourself and link them to the horrible things.
From that list of positive attributes, form some affirmations.

Here are a few of mine:
- I am damaged from all of the crap I've been through <> I am a caring person. Affirmation: I am healing.
- I am a hopeless drunk; I'll never get over this <> I am resilient. Affirmation: I Never Drink Now

I picked the most powerful of my affirmations and made a sort of mobile that is hanging in a very visible spot in my bedroom. It seemed really hokey and fake to begin with, but I love that thing. I've actually come to believe some of those statements and am moving closer to actualizing others. Highly recommend.

I'm sure there are plenty of places on the web you can find ideas for self-affirmation if that doesn't work for you.

O

MaximusD

Hey orchid, hows it going?

Orchid1

Yes Gabe, definitely self care, though I find as I live this new mantra self care is just a by product 😊, Obladi thank you for this tool!

Max, I'm alright, left with one more thing to do to complete my day...feeling good. Though at some point today I wasnt sure if I was dying or not...crazy palpitations and one other very worrying thing. Ate a well calculated meal then took a nap and woke up! So all good👍, it dawned on me in my walk/run this morning why this weekend was a turning point. I asked my father who I talk to 2-5 times a year about where his parents come from. I am grateful he told me, I never realized what an open wound not knowing where I was from was for me, it made me feel whole knowing who I am. Wrapping up day 2 and i'm ever so slightly healthier, more skilled and happier.

How are you Max? I'm so glad to see you are so active!

Orchid1

I say this when I wake up, as I complete one of the goals and last night I added saying it just before I sleep but in past tense...I did not drink today, I was grateful of 5 things, I exercised, I spent at least 10 min improving my skill. It feels like ' I don' good today '.

MaximusD

I am good! Feeling strong in this quit! It is true, each day or hour that passes you are that much more healthy and have that much more withdrawal behind you.

Obladi

Hey Orchid, I love it!
I do something very similar, but I also write it down because somehow that adds oomph for me.

... In the morning, I write my intentions for the day. Just a couple of sentences or phrases. Today's are:
1. Do the list (the list is a daily to-do check off thing that includes basic basic things like eating three meals, going to a meeting, taking a walk, meditating and taking my medication. Most times I don't do all of it, but most times I do most of it. )
2. Be confident, be curious, be compassionate

... In the evening:
1. I take an inventory - how did I do compared to my intentions? Is there anything I botched today that needs correction? Again, just a couple of sentences.
2. In a separate gratitude journal, I list 5 things I'm grateful for. I try not to repeat. It's really amazing how many things there are to be grateful for.

I keep catching myself slacking off, but I keep returning to this behavioral mantra (if you will) because it brings me great satisfaction, focus and peace. It only takes a few minutes, too! There's no reason to slack off, but you know - I'm human. And an alcoholic to boot,

O

DriGuy

Number one was most important for me, although I never made it into a mantra. Fact is, when I drank everyday, at some point in the morning, I would promise myself that I would not drink that day. After I quit, what had been a mantra became a reality, and more like a "knowing": I knew I would not drink that day. Had I made it into a mantra, it may have said, "I don't have to drink today." But there became an atmosphere pervaded by knowing, rather than telling myself.

Don't think I'm saying you shouldn't bother with a mantra. I believe they work, and I even encourage them. I encourage people to use anything that keeps them sober, but keep an eye out for when the "knowing you won't drink again" shows up. It strikes me as a milestone in recovery. It's a sign of progress, but again, this is only how it was for me.

Now that I said all that I intended to say, I feel the urge to go on, lol. Number two, the practice of gratitude is something that seems important to me. To be honest, I never had to go much out of my way to practice gratitude. I just was. There's lots to be grateful for. But overwhelmingly I could get by on just being grateful for sobriety. At about three weeks, I was high on sobriety, and going to bed sober every night was so astonishingly delightful, I would say out loud to myself, "Thank you, thank you, thank you." No one was in the room with me. I just had to thank someone, although I had no idea who that might be. I have practiced gratitude some, but it's really second nature for me.

OK, I'm going to stop. I didn't intend to write this much.

Orchid1

hahaha no need to stop, I enjoyed your two cents, I am grateful for your contribution.

And as far as knowing I wont drink again, I believe that started solidifying in me today as I drove to work, I have several social engagements in the coming weeks and I'm not worried about drinking at them, I'm sure I will have a battle with my AV but I intended on winning and not giving in. When it hits i'll just excuse myself, get on here and read for afew minutes. This is my life now, sobriety, gratitude, self improvement and maintenance both physically and mentally.

Sober45

I love your attitude. It's those kinds of thoughts that got me to my almost 7 months of sobriety. Having a daily mantra is something I really need to look at doing as I think it would work for me too. Thanks for sharing

DriGuy

One of the safety valves in my plan, a tip I got from others, was that whenever I would attend an engagement where drinking might be involved, I would have a clear exit strategy should I start feeling at risk. The strategy was straight forward. Just leave without an explanation, no discussion, or explanation. Never depend on a ride from someone else. Always drive my own car.

As it turned out I never had to use it because for the first few months, I simply didn't attend such engagements (Part A of the same plan). And by the time I did attend something like that, I had developed enough confidence that I was no longer at risk. I never would have thought of that plan, except that early in recovery, I expressed to my group how terrified I was of that situation, and the group was right there with that solution. I guess it's a common knowledge type thing. Today, I rarely attend such functions. I realized that when push came to shove, I was no longer that interested in them, anyway.

Orchid1

This mantra is working out great!!! I feel as though I should just be carrying wood around so I don't jinx it!! Save for one or two slip ups, my sober days are adding up and I do not want to mess it up by drinking again. I can see how much my professional skills have improved just by living this, I'm stronger if only just a little and faster only just a little. And I know this is vain...possibly a little prettier.
I will not drink today, I will exercise, I will be grateful or 5 things, I will improve my skills for at least 10 min.