Hodd

This is sort of tagging on from Dee’s Recovery Plan thread as I’ve come to realise I became sober accidentally and never had a plan, at least I didn’t think I had.

I mentioned on a recent thread how in mid-2017 I’d become too overweight and ashamed to meet up with my ex-girlfriend who I hadn’t met for a decade, and it’s fair to say she’d flourished physically and financially without me. That’s a whole new thread - the feelings of FOMO (?), jealousy and anxiety when following someone’s better life on social media, but that social envy might have just saved my life as I started losing weight in order to meet her and my life changed beyond all recognition as a result,

When I drank my bottle of wine plus maybe one or two beers a day, I did so watching TV or reading/playing on my computer. If I’d wanted to stop drinking but sat at my computer every evening, I doubt if I’d have stopped drinking at all. It had become so natural to sit with a glass of wine.

To get the weight off, I’d started going to the gym, so whilst I was doing this, I wasn’t sat at my computer so I wasn’t drinking. Sure I’d have a couple of glasses later that evening, but I’d unwittingly cut right down on alcohol. As a result, the weight fell off. I was losing two pounds a week for about three months.

The weight plateaued, and the gym novelty wore off slightly as aches and pains crept it. This was all normal as I was a guy in his late forties doing a lot of exercise. I became more award of what I was eating as those extra calories would have to be burned off. The thought of that did keep my drinking to almost sensible levels. I was now a very fit guy but drinking maybe 3 or 4 bottles a week. That’s nearly 3 times the healthy limit.

I’m not underselling the next part where I realised I was dependent and had to stop 100% or my consumption would creep up again, but what happened above was my version of a recovery plan. The gym, getting a life, joining a couple of sports club, forgetting the ex-girlfriend and realising my life was better than hers anyway had replaced my evenings sat at the PC with a bottle of wine.

I bear almost no resemblance now to the overweight me of 2017. There’s so much to do and all of it’s good. There’s no room for drinking anymore even though I get occasional urges after 18 months.

To give up drinking requires changing at least one or two other things in your life. You can stop drinking in isolation and change nothing else. Life will never be the same again. It will be better, though!

Sober45

This reminds me of a saying I've used a lot..."motivation comes from doing" (Dr. David Byrne I think).

I hate washing dishes....but once I get going, look out!

So often in life, we wait for inspiration when really we can create it ourselves...by taking action.

Just goes to show there is no straight path to sobriety. Which is a good thing because we are all different!

Hodd

And the thing is, I can now watch TV or sit at a computer, but I don’t need to drink whilst doing so anymore.

But saying that, I do drink water, tea, coffee, etc, and lots of it whilst doing the above. Maybe that slightly odd behaviour was what led to me drinking too much in the first place. That’s a thread for another day. I never felt the need to analyse why I drank, but it’s fine for anyone to analyse why they drink as long as they’ve stopped drinking first.

MissPerfumado

I basically changed loads in my life when I got sober, as a direct means of avoiding triggers.

My daily trigger to start drinking was to come home, open a bottle of wine and sit down on my sofa in front of the TV to watch 'lifestyle' shows.

I changed that up by going to the gym or for a run immediately after work, followed by buying ingredients to cook a simple but healthy dinner so I would have something to do when I got in the door. I am now very fit, run marathons and exercise 6 days a week.

I would cook dinner and eat in in front of my computer in the study to avoid the sofa and TV. I would read SR mainly. I basically did not watch TV for 3 months. To this day, I have killed the habit of mindlessly sitting in front of the TV. Don't ask me about Netflix dramas or movies - I will have no idea what you're talking about.

I also made a habit of then cleaning the kitchen, straightening up my house and attending to any little chores before going to bed. I still do that and I wake up to a clean house.

I essentially found those things like you did, Hodd, by accident. But maybe the difference is that I had a plan written down so I added them to the plan. Because I was already doing them, they worked and stayed in the plan. The activities that work for us should shape the plan.

Then eventually they become a way of life.

Dee74

Change is mandatory I think - but accepting that took me a long time....which baffles me looking back because I didn't like who I was or what my life was drinking...but I guess the fear that I might be heading into something worse paralysed me.

There was, or could not be anything worse than my life in 2007

My life is a million times better - not blissful but happy, not resting on my laurels but content.

Totally unlike how I thought it might be - but so much better

D

EndGameNYC

For some people, discovering that they can achieve things that are meaningful for them through hard work, perseverance, and living a sober life carries the responsibility of continuing to stay sober. Even if some of the things we accomplish are accidents. It's the price we pay for our freedom.

Nobody said it would be easy.