I'm Back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 76
I'm Back
Hello,
I'm here again after a few failed attempts at getting sober these past few years. I don't know why but this time it's different. I'm only at the end of day 3 but something about my psychology towards alcohol has changed. I've been reading and researching and seriously considering my entire relationship with alcohol and what my future will hold without sobriety. I'm just done with it. I finally see it for what it really is. I know this probably just sounds like that initial burst of confidence one gets when calling it a day but it really is different this time. I finally see all the crap I've been fed my whole life about how fantastic alcohol is. I always failed in previous attempts, because deep down I never let go of what I believed was still great about alcohol. I've woken up and I'm not going to be part of the lies anymore. I know now I'll never drink again. I've wasted so much of my life and time to this crap. No more. It's good to be back here and I wish everybody well.
I'm here again after a few failed attempts at getting sober these past few years. I don't know why but this time it's different. I'm only at the end of day 3 but something about my psychology towards alcohol has changed. I've been reading and researching and seriously considering my entire relationship with alcohol and what my future will hold without sobriety. I'm just done with it. I finally see it for what it really is. I know this probably just sounds like that initial burst of confidence one gets when calling it a day but it really is different this time. I finally see all the crap I've been fed my whole life about how fantastic alcohol is. I always failed in previous attempts, because deep down I never let go of what I believed was still great about alcohol. I've woken up and I'm not going to be part of the lies anymore. I know now I'll never drink again. I've wasted so much of my life and time to this crap. No more. It's good to be back here and I wish everybody well.
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Welcome back Bodhi
I know what it's like to bounce between being sober and not. I always seem to desire the opposite of where I am currently.
I think I know what you mean about the confidence. I have had that in the past. I also have had pink clouds. This time I really had neither. I know I am up against it if I truly want to stay sober long term. One thing that has kept me going is the realization that I honestly don't know how to stay sober. I am trying to learn how one day at a time. In a row
I know what it's like to bounce between being sober and not. I always seem to desire the opposite of where I am currently.
I think I know what you mean about the confidence. I have had that in the past. I also have had pink clouds. This time I really had neither. I know I am up against it if I truly want to stay sober long term. One thing that has kept me going is the realization that I honestly don't know how to stay sober. I am trying to learn how one day at a time. In a row
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Yeah Bodhi, you really don't need to know anything other than booze has done nothing for you. There is nothing there. It is an empty tunnel and down that way madness lies. I'm so glad you have decided to hang it up. You don't need to battle anymore. I finally admitted I lost that fight, unlaced the gloves, and walked away from it. You deserve to live a peaceful, quiet and healthy life and we can only do that sober.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
There is no mystery or soul regarding booze.
It is a mind altering neuro toxin and causes almost immediate and permanent addiction.
The addiction, brain damage, is irreversible but can be defeated with education, time, and suffering.
I use exercise, and other dopamine producing practices to fill the gaps left by drinking, being drunk, and being hung over.
The extra time I have led me to better relationships and physical/mental fitness improvements.
I am no longer the chemically altered version of me.
Wanting to quit was half the battle. So far the rest has been education, suffering, and time.
Folks regret relapse after decades clean. Addict for life.
Thanks.
It is a mind altering neuro toxin and causes almost immediate and permanent addiction.
The addiction, brain damage, is irreversible but can be defeated with education, time, and suffering.
I use exercise, and other dopamine producing practices to fill the gaps left by drinking, being drunk, and being hung over.
The extra time I have led me to better relationships and physical/mental fitness improvements.
I am no longer the chemically altered version of me.
Wanting to quit was half the battle. So far the rest has been education, suffering, and time.
Folks regret relapse after decades clean. Addict for life.
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 76
Originally Posted by Dee74 
welcome back Bodhi 
Have you thought on what exactly you'll do to stay sober?
D
Have you thought on what exactly you'll do to stay sober?
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm not trying to push you to AA or anything else but I think a good recovery plan has to do more than activities.
It needs to incorporate something on what you'll do when you want to drink again, because its highly unlikely you'll never feel that way again.
If that's at least part of what you mean by engaging with other alcoholics, so much the better
D
It needs to incorporate something on what you'll do when you want to drink again, because its highly unlikely you'll never feel that way again.
If that's at least part of what you mean by engaging with other alcoholics, so much the better
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Bodhi, I agree that there is a mindset change and quitting just becomes different. It is good to be confident but be careful because the AV can twist stuff around when you least expect it. Be vigilant and always put your sobriety first above all else. It is a matter of life and death.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
It's so good to see your change in attitude, Bodhi. That's similar to how I felt when I finally let go of it for good. I had built my whole life around it in the end - it was ridiculous. The once fun days of long ago were never coming back. I was dependent on it, but it never helped me enjoy life. In the end I was leading a miserable existence. Congratulations!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 76
Thank you everyone. I heed the warnings and appreciate the advice. Something I've realised I always struggled to think about, was the internal damage I've done or was doing at the time I was drinking. Out of sight out mind. I'm listening to my body now. I've ignored the pain and aches for ar too long. I pray I've not done irreparable damage. I will stay mindful of my health and how damaging alcohol is. That should keep me focussed.
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