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Old 07-13-2020, 03:21 PM
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New to the group

Hello Everyone!

Love this group and everything I’ve learned from it so far along my journey! To be fair my journey thus far has been a lot of trying to quit with little success. The only success I’ve found so far is in smoking weed, which as you’ve all probably learned isn’t addressing the issue.

As I write out a sobriety plan, and schedule a date to work towards, I can’t seem to get past the first few days. I’m an isolated alchoholic, as it’s the way I’ve put up a wall into being arrested or having people tell me I need help! The problem is, I suffer in silence and really feel like I need people to help! The isolation of where my disease has taken me, along with COVID has created a deep loneliness!!! I feel stupid going to AA online when I’m still drinking. I feel like I should have a few days minimum under my belt, but the loneliness is painful and alchohol is the only thing that takes the pain away.

Sorry I know I’m rambling.... But has anyone else been in this trap? Any suggestions or help to get through the first few days? I know there’s a fulfilling life on the other side of the bottle, I just don’t know how to get there.

Any ideas would be very appreciated.

Almost-RidingSober
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Old 07-13-2020, 03:26 PM
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Alcoholism is very isolating. By the time I stopped drinking, I had given up all my friends and activities. I'm not an AA person, but I know you can go to AA or attend an online meeting, as long as you want to stop drinking. And, please make use of SR. We have a great community here and you can always check in and read and post anytime.
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Old 07-13-2020, 03:30 PM
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When I first discovered recovery and the WQD website (similar to this one) that is now taken down in 2006 I drank for a while and read around. started posting and was still drinking then I started quitting and did so for 5 years. I am not saying you should keep drinking and we will all mostly advocate for you to stop today but if you need to start going to AA meetings before you have quit and that will help you quit then I don't see a problem with that. I don't know if this is a controversial statement or not or if I am going to get kickback I am just brainstorming for you. If you do that I would say it should not be obvious you are doing it. Wouldn't be fair to the others in the meeting. After typing all that though it sounds similar to moderation, too much work. Quit and then on day 1 start is another option. Welcome back
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Old 07-13-2020, 04:52 PM
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Welcome back RidingSober

i got to a point where I knew I could live the life I wanted, and be the person I wanted to be - or I could continue to drink - but not both.

We have to choose, and let our actions reflect that choice.

D
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Old 07-13-2020, 07:24 PM
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Hello

Well as simple as it sounds I think life on the other side of the bottle starts with putting down the bottle. So that's the first thing, right? See where things go from there...

I really don't know the answers, Sober. I was always an isolation drinker, but I preferred it that way.

Personally, I think I've just reached the point where I can't take living in a vicious cycle of drinking, lying, recovering, drinking, lying, recovering over and over again all while mixing in a great deal of depression, self-loathing, shame and remorse in there for good measure. Not anymore. Life is going by too fast now and I've already wasted a lot of time.

Unfortunately, alcohol had to beat the living hell out of me before I was willing to give up.
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Old 07-13-2020, 07:39 PM
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there is absolutely no requirement to have stopped drinking in order to attend an AA meeting. nor is there a requirement to want to quit drinking in order to attend an AA meeting.

though if you have the desire for sobriety, there is a suggested solution offered by AA.

in my old meeting, we had a “desire chip”, which anyone could take any time. from those still drinking to those decades sober.

you can go despite feeling “stupid”!
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Old 07-13-2020, 07:44 PM
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Welcome!
I was doing the 24/7 AA meetings constantly until they stopped them. I loved them and would be on up to 15hrs a day. LOTS of people came on drunk or drinking, but they are accepted, given phone numbers and asked to stay . It shows that you have hope and want to get better.
same with these forums. Post often!
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Old 07-13-2020, 08:37 PM
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I can definitely relate to drinking and not wanting to utilize the tools to get sober... because I wasn't sober at the time.
But that is why those tools are there. So luckily I continued to hang around here and a whole bunch of AA meetings even though much of the time I knew I didn't REALLY want to quit.

Finally one day it just hit me that it needs to be right now. Today.

Obviously this isn't easy. But my daily life has gotten much smoother. And I actually feel healthy which is really nice. Now I need to keep learning so I can make sure I stay stopped.
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Old 07-14-2020, 07:44 AM
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You have come to the right place. Keep reading and posting.

I have dual addiction: cannabis and alcohol. My DOC was Cannabis PLUS alcohol. To be fair, my cannabis use has been validated by a psychiatrist (I have rx). I don't take any other medications.

Now that I've been sober from alcohol for six months, I'm starting to question the weed. It will be gone too, eventually. But I'm giving myself 1 year of sobriety before I make any more changes.

I think the first step to becoming sober is "questioning" and you are certainly doing that.

Build up your toolbox. We need a plan for exactly what we will do with our drinking time. For me, I:

-stayed on SR constantly. For the first couple months, it was all I did. I call it my "brainwashing" period.
-Did not let myself think about alcohol in a gratifying way. When alcohol seemed feasible, I immediately switched my thoughts to a very bad time with alcohol. Whenever I bring up the image, it's a stark reminder of how lucky I am to be sober and alive right now.
-Opened my mind to the TRUTH about alcohol. I spent time looking at society, our health care system, and the impact alcohol is having on them. Who gains by me drinking?...someone's getting rich and it ain't me!

I have the most precious gift now....clarity. It takes time but it does come.

Best wishes on your recovery
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Old 07-14-2020, 08:14 AM
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Welcome to SR! This site was and is my biggest support I read and post here daily. In my early days of sobriety I posted and found the support from those with sobriety under their belt. I still post about my days and the friends I have made on SR celebrate my successes and listen to my struggles.

Things that I did when I first got sober were:
-Read and post here daily, I did not go to AA, but I was and am very active on this site.

-Read books about recovery, I was inspired by the stories of others who had been there.

-Journal

-Practice mindfulness: this one was really important for me, and has been even more so during this pandemic. I work really hard to remain focused on the present. I know that I can’t change the past, I can only learn from it. Also, although I can plan for the future I can’t stress about the “what ifs” it only causes my anxiety to rise. This is one I still struggle with, so I work on breathing, and go on walks to help me.

-That brings me to my next support, I get moving daily. I find that walks in nature are the most helpful.

- In the beginning when I thought about drinking I came on here, I did something to allow the thought to pass. I also made sure to have lots ornaments non alcoholic drinks in the house. I Cannot remember the last time I thought about being having a drink, and that is one of the best things about sobriety.

Getting sober is simple, it isn’t easy, but it’s simple. I promise you sobriety is worth it, and so are you.

❤️ Delilah
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